The despair of being refused.....

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worsedale
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18 Jan 2006, 4:08 pm

What are you studying (digressing from the original topic_)

Quote:
How long does infatuation last? Because im 19 now and I'm still in love with someone from 11th grade (There was no relationship, it was a love at first sight thing, but only 1 way.)


My quantitative answer would be simply that I think it lasts a long time, but not forever.
But then every case is different :?: I just don't know



Nuntar
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18 Jan 2006, 5:34 pm

MA in philosophy. (And yes, we are digressing a bit :P )



ELLCIM
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27 Mar 2006, 2:14 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
ELLCIM wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
When someone is infatuated you'll find that considering other people doesn't even come into the question.


Not quite true. I've been infatuated with a couple people at the same time, sometimes.


Maybe it's just me then. But it kinda seems that i'm only ever infatuated with one person at a time, or maybe it's love, but i'm pretty sure it isn't.

Maybe yours isn't real infatuation, but just a mild crush? I wouldn't know.


This is an old thread, but I think I know what hale_bopp means now. I've referred to three girls I like in a couple recent posts, but "Stefani" became the strongest infatuation. Even now, a few days after receiving the horrible news that she just became taken, I still have very strong feelings for her that have made other crushes seem insignificant. This is the first time I've felt so strongly about one girl that everyone else feels like a consolation prize - previously various girls I liked were equals. "Stefani" is the first girl I've cried over. But I'll take who I can get. I should give other people a chance anyway at this age.



pooftis
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27 Mar 2006, 2:19 pm

I don't know how old you are, but I am guessing you aren't that old. Don't worry, there will be a new object of affection later. :) Hope you are doing okay.


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I hate hearing, "you don't seem autistic/aspie". I have a nagging suspicion most people have no idea what autistic or aspie "seem" like in the first place...


ELLCIM
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27 Mar 2006, 2:59 pm

pooftis wrote:
I don't know how old you are, but I am guessing you aren't that old. Don't worry, there will be a new object of affection later. :) Hope you are doing okay.


I am 20 years and 2 months of age. I could be worse off!



moomin
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28 Mar 2006, 4:13 am

it's upseting when someone doesn't accept your offer to go out but what you have to say(to stop yourself feeling miserable) is say 'oh well, it's her loss'. You are just a good and interesting person as her(so what if you have AS,etc - she might be not be soo great), so she's losing out on getting to know a wonderful person!



rhubarbpluscustard
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28 Mar 2006, 2:49 pm

Nomaken wrote:
How long does infatuation last? Because im 19 now and I'm still in love with someone from 11th grade (There was no relationship, it was a love at first sight thing, but only 1 way.)


I'm 17 (finishing 12th grade) and still in love with someone from 10th grade. It was a slowly-developing sort of love, not love at first sight, but it's one-sided just like yours.



snake321
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28 Mar 2006, 5:58 pm

Go somewhere where there are open minded people, a dating service with artsy types, or alternative types, or something along those lines. Set up a profile, explain autism, but don't make it into a label. Write a handful of girls (but don't be like "hey I'm autistic wanna date")... For the first several messages atleast, you shouldn't even bring AS up unless she brings it up first. Once you start to develope a connection with someone, THEN you can explain AS. But if she's really interested in getting to know you, she'll read it on your ad.
Alot of people might say this is self-labelling, but I don't think it is. Not as long as you don't come off sounding desperate.
But by being foward and honest about it, you'll know if she's open minded enough to deal with it and look past it. If she's not, then f**k her, she's not worth your time.
Also, (and I'm not saying that it's not hard for women, just not *as* hard as it is for men, for obvious reasons), aspie men might do better to be willing to move for the right girl if need be. Aspie women don't hafta usually resort to those kindsa means but as males, we hafta make the approach, and we hafta do all the courting. Aspie men may not either, but it would definately help your chances. And of coarse, I'm not saying your efforts are hopeless if you don't. I'm beginning to feel alittle more hopeful today that at some point in time I will meet Mrs. Right. Of coarse, Mrs. Right might not be in my home state, and of coarse, you could also say an aspie girls' Mr. Right may not be in the same state too.... But I really wanna believe in soul mates, rather my soul mate is in NC somewhere or in another state somewhere, or even in another country for that matter (but I'm not moving overseas at this point in my life).
but be wary of women who'll try to drag you in and lead you on and disappoint you, there are alot of them. I can tell you some signs so you'd know when this is happening.



snake321
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28 Mar 2006, 6:01 pm

Yeah, so on 2nd thought if an aspie girl finds her soul mate to be in anoter state, she might do well to be willing to move too. But I'm just making a mere suggestion.