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girl i love doesnt want to be my girlfreind, but i want to b

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dalekaspie
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25 Sep 2008, 1:02 pm

I asked a girl i like out twice and was rejected both times ( the first time she said yes and changed her mind after 30 seconds and the second time it took her 4 days to say no) weve agreed to stay freinds but i havent talked to her in ages


what would you do?



RainKing
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25 Sep 2008, 1:05 pm

If you want to be her friend, be her friend. If not, don't. It doesn't sound like a difficult problem.



donkey
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25 Sep 2008, 1:06 pm

with the information supplied the short answer is : walk away.

in the context of a supplied age, country/location and culture you could perhaps get a more usefull response.


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Zara
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25 Sep 2008, 1:26 pm

dalekaspie wrote:
I asked a girl i like out twice and was rejected both times ( the first time she said yes and changed her mind after 30 seconds and the second time it took her 4 days to say no) weve agreed to stay freinds but i havent talked to her in ages


what would you do?


Been there before.

Not much you can do. Girls will say they want to stay friends but they rarely mean it.
Let it go.


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zeichner
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25 Sep 2008, 1:32 pm

I agree with donkey & Zara - move on.

No means no - no matter how long it takes them to decide. ("Let's just be friends" usually means "I'd rather not have to deal with you anymore.")


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ToadOfSteel
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25 Sep 2008, 1:39 pm

You've encountered the NT philosophy that says it's better to be polite than to be honest...



zeichner
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25 Sep 2008, 1:53 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
You've encountered the NT philosophy that says it's better to be polite than to be honest...

More often than I'd care to remember! :)


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ToadOfSteel
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25 Sep 2008, 1:54 pm

Was talking more to the OP, but yeah... I find it annoying too...



rushfanatic
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25 Sep 2008, 2:04 pm

Move along, young fella....she is not for you, the right one will happen your way in due time... :wink:



donkey
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25 Sep 2008, 2:38 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
You've encountered the NT philosophy that says it's better to be polite than to be honest...


good quote.

precise, accurate concise and right.


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ducasse
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25 Sep 2008, 5:34 pm

my inclination would be to be her friend whilst deluding myself into thinking i didn't have a problem with the rejection, & hey maybe she'll change her mind? - but my inclination in these things is always faulty, & when someone else states the problem it is very clear that the only sane thing to do is walk away.



KenM
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25 Sep 2008, 7:38 pm

rushfanatic wrote:
Move along, young fella....she is not for you, the right one will happen your way in due time... :wink:



I used to think that as well. But when every girl I have ever been interested in says that, gets old real fast. I really don't think there is someone for everyone. I will always be alone.



hale_bopp
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25 Sep 2008, 8:18 pm

I wouldn't get your hopes up, if she's said no twice, she probably means it. The fact that she took 4 days is something you shouldn't get hung up about.



AutisticMalcontent
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25 Sep 2008, 11:14 pm

Well it seems that she doesn't feel anything for you romantically and two rejections are indicative of her choices. The fact that she said "Yes" once makes me believe she has some glimmer of hope for you. So here is what I would do. I would totally ditch her and cease communication with her. If she honestly cares about you, she'll want to know why you've stopped communicating with her. If not, she has little-no interest in you and you should just ignore her.

I know the pain of rejection, and I know that once a girl doesn't love you, it is almost futile trying. If you are good friends with her, keep her, if not, have nothing to do with her after she shows her true colors, like I said with the example above.



V4der
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25 Sep 2008, 11:17 pm

I just hope this doesn't turn into some stalking episode.

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26 Sep 2008, 5:15 am

rushfanatic wrote:
Move along, young fella....she is not for you, the right one will happen your way in due time... :wink:

What makes you so sure that will happen?