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Over 21 but never had a boyfriend or girlfriend

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ELLCIM
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31 Jan 2006, 9:53 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
QuirkyCarla wrote:
It still seems to me that men are more shallow than women.


Same. I see people all the time with ugly boyfriends, but the guys seem to only want to know "HOT" girls.

Of course women are shallow to a large extent, but in no way are men NOT shallow.


I never said that men aren't at all shallow. I just think they are shallow in fewer ways than women. Men prioritize to looks, while women prioritize not only to looks, but to all the invisible stuff. Men don't care if a woman is nice or not, adventurous or not...it's all about looks. But, women go for both looks, and un-niceness and adventure.



hale_bopp
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01 Feb 2006, 1:02 am

ELLCIM wrote:

I never said that men aren't at all shallow. I just think they are shallow in fewer ways than women. Men prioritize to looks, while women prioritize not only to looks, but to all the invisible stuff. Men don't care if a woman is nice or not, adventurous or not...it's all about looks. But, women go for both looks, and un-niceness and adventure.



HAHAHHA. Do you know what Shallow means? SHALLOW! Not deep, the outside, the surface! What you said just proves that men are indeed shallwer than women.

Caring about "invisible" stuff, makes you the opposite of shallow. THE OPPOSITE. I believe the word you are looking for is "Picky".



worsedale
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01 Feb 2006, 4:53 am

Ah but few men have the choice to be selective of the 'hot' girls, and it is all about choice....



hale_bopp
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01 Feb 2006, 5:20 am

worsedale wrote:
Ah but few men have the choice to be selective of the 'hot' girls, and it is all about choice....


So you're saying any girl can have a hot guy? Puh-leese.



Ricardo
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01 Feb 2006, 8:21 am

@ hale_bopp:

So would you agree or disagree with the statement that most women would reject "wusses" ?



ELLCIM
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01 Feb 2006, 9:43 am

hale_bopp wrote:
HAHAHHA. Do you know what Shallow means? SHALLOW! Not deep, the outside, the surface! What you said just proves that men are indeed shallwer than women.

Caring about "invisible" stuff, makes you the opposite of shallow. THE OPPOSITE. I believe the word you are looking for is "Picky".


By invisible stuff, I am referring to very subtle things that people shouldn't care about, such as whether eye contact was maintained for more than 4.23523 seconds.



worsedale
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01 Feb 2006, 11:57 am

Quote:
worsedale wrote:
Ah but few men have the choice to be selective of the 'hot' girls, and it is all about choice....


So you're saying any girl can have a hot guy? Puh-leese.


To the extent that 'having' a hot guy means getting him to love back, then yes. :roll: But again you're being naive in assuming that I define women as having exactly the choice that men don't. It is closer to the truth to say that women have the freedom to make men exactly how they think they want them to be. So personal qualities 'hot' lose all meaning. The generic media-hyped, unattainable, six pack hot, however, is something women increasingly believe they have the right to.



jonnyeol
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05 Feb 2006, 4:51 pm

Well, I'm 26 (27 next month) and have been single for my entire life. And every successive year it hurts more and more, and I find less and less fullfillment in the 'young single male' lifestyle which is forced upon me.

I've tried all kinds of things, but it doesn't help that I'm simply not meeting many single women. I've tried asking friends who are known to be good with the ladies for advice, but they claim they can't help. Even if I offer incentives for them to do so.



Callista
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05 Feb 2006, 9:28 pm

I am 22 and not yet in a romantic relationship; I have no wish to be in one. However, I do hope to have closer friendships as I learn how better to deal with people.


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06 Feb 2006, 2:37 am

I'm 23. Never had a relationship. Never "dated" at all. I have a lot of friends though, and I wouldn't trade them for one romantic relationship.

Just realize that you can be happy being single. You have to live with yourself before you can live with anyone else. Once you are happy just being with yourself, magically other people want to be around you too. People like being around other happy people.

The motto I live by is, "Hope for the best, expect the worst, and accept whatever you get."

So far, nothing has disappointed me.



worsedale
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06 Feb 2006, 1:53 pm

Quote:
Well, I'm 26 (27 next month) and have been single for my entire life. And every successive year it hurts more and more, and I find less and less fullfillment in the 'young single male' lifestyle which is forced upon me.

I've tried all kinds of things, but it doesn't help that I'm simply not meeting many single women. I've tried asking friends who are known to be good with the ladies for advice, but they claim they can't help. Even if I offer incentives for them to do so.


Sucks. 'Young single male' lifestyle is the biggest societal lie. :cry:



jonnyeol
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06 Feb 2006, 3:07 pm

worsedale wrote:

Sucks. 'Young single male' lifestyle is the biggest societal lie. :cry:


Lifestyle only in terms of 'going out when you like', 'not having to ring anyone to say you'll be late', 'not worrying how drunk you get' and 'having a double bed to yourself every single night'. I've tried to find as many things as possible to do, just to keep myself in the running, but it always seems a bit hollow. Knowing that once it's all over and done, you're on your own until next time.



Funaho
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06 Feb 2006, 3:16 pm

I have to admit that after a couple weeks on an SSRI (Lexapro, in my case) I'm starting to find myself questioning how much of my depression over my single state (I'm 32) is actually related to being lonely, and how much is related to me feeling that my being single at my age is somehow "wrong" based on prevailing societal norms. While i certainly do get lonely, and I certainly do wish I had someone to care about besides my (currently very lucky, very spoiled) cats, I don't feel quite as bad about it as I used to. I can't help but think of the stress and anxiety caused by my one previous brief relationship that to this day, four years later, I still don't understand, and I have to wonder if another relationship would really be any better?


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worsedale
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06 Feb 2006, 5:54 pm

Well Funaho mate, at the moment I only ask myself that question in terms of what I think of women. I don't know if a female partner to you means something radically different from another male friend, or not, hmmm? :idea:

:?:

I've developed a limitedly helpful strategy lately, whereby I just try to visualise women differently, focusing on the discrete things I perceive to be attractive, rather than this conception of women as wholly heartless. Doing this I can fomr the conclusion that most women are warm and understanding, like all people manipulative only when they are insecure/feel they have to be.



Funaho
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06 Feb 2006, 9:39 pm

worsedale wrote:
Well Funaho mate, at the moment I only ask myself that question in terms of what I think of women. I don't know if a female partner to you means something radically different from another male friend, or not, hmmm? :idea:

:?:

I've developed a limitedly helpful strategy lately, whereby I just try to visualise women differently, focusing on the discrete things I perceive to be attractive, rather than this conception of women as wholly heartless. Doing this I can fomr the conclusion that most women are warm and understanding, like all people manipulative only when they are insecure/feel they have to be.


I didn't mean to imply anything about women by my post so much as an increasing awareness of my own incompatibility with relationships. While I certainly feel a LTR relationship with a woman would be a good thing for me I don't see it happening for a variety of reasons.


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worsedale
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07 Feb 2006, 6:08 pm

I know the feeling though I am much younger, I think I am capable of maintaining an LTR but that doesn't increase my confidence.