Living in a world fulla couples...

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How do you define "not looking"? Is it simply ignoring all girls? I can't see THAT working.

That doesn't work either. I've tried that for too many years.

Don't try.

That's sounds oh so cliche...And not very helpful..But :: shrugs ::

But it usually works? If you just start accepting the good things about being single and not worrying about the need for a partner then you're more likely to see people in a different light and realise that someone you see every day is a possibility. Or someone you meet afterwards turns out to be your other half the next day!

Take it from a couple that found each other


renaeden: It's hard to believe I have met someone like you, never thought I would.

GalileoAce: I feel the same

renaeden: Just when I gave up the thought of meeting someone, I met you.

GalileoAce: It's weird like that... You search and search, and then you kinda go "screw it, I'll never find someone" and then soon after you find someone

renaeden: Did you?

GalileoAce: Sorta yeah

renaeden: At just 22?

GalileoAce: I was still looking, but I wasn't as desperate as I used to be. I figured I'd find someone when I found someone.

Define "accidentally". No, seriously. If it were that simple...

Considering that it is rated as the be-all, end-all goal of existance by many people, I'd have to concur. If you're not OK with yourself as a person and think you *need* someone to be *complete* then you may get into a relationship... but it will probably be a sucky one. A relationship can be great. Being single can be great. Living life can be great. Obsessing about wanting to be in a relationship can riun all three for you.

Simple. I simply gave up on finding a girlfriend, and just looked for "just friendship" with females. After talking online to a girl from my school I first contacted through Xanga, we got close rather fast, so we decided to go out with eachother.

Just sorta happened like that.

But I think I was on to something with the "attempt to be just friends" thing...reverse psychology perhaps?

Dating? Personally I think nothing compares to it.

But we live in a world fulla people who misapply the same prejudiced and ill-informed standards on everyone when it suits them. That's called 'good timing'....people just wait for the right moment and pounce. And sadly that's probably the most important skill to learn.

'The pressure's on.....because the pleasure's not gone....'

Morrissey, 2004.

The only people who believe that are people who are too young to know better, below 25, someone who has been loved by someone, someone who has never taken anti depressant to overcome the emptiness, someone who gets enough dates to still have enough hope of finding someone or someone who doesn’t need anyone.

Strange that I would find it so hard to be any of those people, and the fact that I am not, puts me in the position that I cannot be happy without someone. I am sure the same applies to him also. The only way I know of being happy single is to try keeping up the meditation and become a blimin Buddha, but it is not working yet.

EXACTLY. All the people that tell me that I'll "find someone" are all people who have been successful with relationships. On the other hand, guys like me have reason to wonder if it will ever happen. Considering the number of Aspies that never find anyone...I know an Aspie guy in his late 50s, never got anyone.

A very sensible response Serissa

I kinda miss being single at the moment. I think its the effect valentines has on me.

I must say though, I do have a hard time watching people I know holding hands and so forth. Just today I had an adverse reaction to someone touching the leg of a female friend of mine...I just cringe thinking about it. I want to do that so much without a girl telling me to stop.

I'm not single and PDAs still distract me if not bug me/make me want to vomit. I saw one guy kissing (I hope) his girlfriend and saying "I love you" yesterday. I got so distracted I tripped on the shoe of the guy in front of me. Now, to be fair, I do that a lot anyway. But still.

Honestly I'd rather see a million PDAs than all these people thinking they *need* a relationship. It's not a helpful viewpoint no matter how you look at it, when you take a cost-benefit kind of approach. ((And for the record, I never thought I needed one, and I still don't. In fact, I was pretty anti-relationship for me an din general for a long time. I'm not saying "it'll just happen" for you but it randomly did for me, and it was kind of involuntary, initially, for me (as far as realizing "oh s**t, I want this to happen. There goes my credibility as a cynic"). Wow, I put that romantically. ))

Yeah, yeah, yeah, chicks can have any guy they want, blah blah blah, don't whine to me about that till you've been an Aspie chick who was fat in high school and has terrible social skills and a touch aversion, in addition to of course being insane.

The only way I'll find myself in a relationship is if someone was so interested in me that they decided to let me know, and take the initiative. Societal norms and the conventions of social interactions make this all but completely unlikely.

Why would I, or anyone for that matter, spend time and energy in the pursuit of something that they do not want or see a need for?

I must say, there is at least an intellectual curiosity to the whole affair, and there is certainly a very strong physical drive, but my apathy has so far overpowered these feelings.

Maybe the person interested just needs to say:
"I'm interested in meeting you, do you have time?"

Thus you can spend time together to feel comfortable with each other(if relationship goes well), or not so comfortable and brake relationship(if relationship doesn't go well).
What do you think?