Asking a girl out online: Acceptable or no?

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

Scorchio17
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 13

24 Dec 2008, 3:37 am

There's this girl I'm friends with that I like, and I have her e-mail address, but not her phone number. I want to ask her out some time over Christmas break, but I can't call her or talk to her in person. Would an e-mail message asking her out be a good bet, or would that seem too impersonal?



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

24 Dec 2008, 3:39 am

Scorchio17 wrote:
There's this girl I'm friends with that I like, and I have her e-mail address, but not her phone number. I want to ask her out some time over Christmas break, but I can't call her or talk to her in person. Would an e-mail message asking her out be a good bet, or would that seem too impersonal?


I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest..



CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

24 Dec 2008, 4:00 am

Scorchio17 wrote:
There's this girl I'm friends with that I like, and I have her e-mail address, but not her phone number. I want to ask her out some time over Christmas break, but I can't call her or talk to her in person. Would an e-mail message asking her out be a good bet, or would that seem too impersonal?


My advice is that if you don't have her phone number yet, then it's too soon, especially if you talk in person. After a 20-30 minute phone conversation, it should go fine, provided the conversation went well, just don't send a random email, as that would be slightly creepy.



Scorchio17
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 13

24 Dec 2008, 4:07 am

Well, we're kind of friends. We're in the same theatre class, and I got her e-mail address to send her a script of a movie I'm working on. We know each other pretty well, I just never really needed her phone number before.



CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

24 Dec 2008, 4:09 am

Scorchio17 wrote:
Well, we're kind of friends. We're in the same theatre class, and I got her e-mail address to send her a script of a movie I'm working on. We know each other pretty well, I just never really needed her phone number before.

That is your problem right there. You've set up a situation for nothing more than friendly dialogue among colleagues. Unless you are having actual conversations through email, on phone, outside of class, there isn't really that much there. If you flirt a bit outside of class, then you've got a good situation to ask her out. If you asked for her email to send a film script, then ask her out without really 'talking' to her, it's not going to come off well.



Scorchio17
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 13

24 Dec 2008, 4:16 am

So I should just wait until Christmas Break is over and ask in person?

*sigh* another New Years alone...



CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

24 Dec 2008, 4:19 am

Scorchio17 wrote:
So I should just wait until Christmas Break is over and ask in person?

*sigh* another New Years alone...

My suggestion would be to start up normal conversation. If you have to ask, that means you're pushing things too fast. Just focus on talking in email, regular conversations, and see where things go. With some flirting, you should get a good situation set up to ask her out on a date.



Abangyarudo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 603

24 Dec 2008, 5:31 am

CerebralDreamer wrote:
Scorchio17 wrote:
Well, we're kind of friends. We're in the same theatre class, and I got her e-mail address to send her a script of a movie I'm working on. We know each other pretty well, I just never really needed her phone number before.

That is your problem right there. You've set up a situation for nothing more than friendly dialogue among colleagues. Unless you are having actual conversations through email, on phone, outside of class, there isn't really that much there. If you flirt a bit outside of class, then you've got a good situation to ask her out. If you asked for her email to send a film script, then ask her out without really 'talking' to her, it's not going to come off well.


um I went out with a girl that had the same description as the person there. I was a film/video student and the girl was in a class of mine she was a threatre student. We mutually broke it off but I got offers afterwards from her friends cause of how well I treated her.

Scorchio17 wrote:
There's this girl I'm friends with that I like, and I have her e-mail address, but not her phone number. I want to ask her out some time over Christmas break, but I can't call her or talk to her in person. Would an e-mail message asking her out be a good bet, or would that seem too impersonal?


This may not work for you but how I approach it is usually. I just ask to hang out and if it goes further you'll know (I know your probably sitting there like that don't help) but as you make up for the lack of reading nonverbal cues you'll learn how to assess a situation. After the first encounter if the girls comfortable with you she'll try the date when you ask her. In theory you should treat the first outing as a date but it really can't be that serious (atleast its never worked for me you may have different results) . I usually tell girls if I mostly have a friendly relationship that I want to explore the possibilities outside that then it kind of depends on how they see me. So I hope this helps you.



DustinWX
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

24 Dec 2008, 9:54 am

Sounds familar, oh wait it is familar as I've done it! Twice!! Both times I got rejected, nicely, but still rejected. I'm headed down the same path again with no regards till tomorrow, but in reality you are going to look really bad. Take it from her perspective, she gave you her e-mail in trust and you are going to misuse her trust by asking her out over it. If you don't have the guts to be rejected face to face or at least over the phone then you are not ready to date. It hurts just as badly when you never get an e-mail reply and suddendly she doesn't want to talk to you anymore at drama class. Be careful.



j5689
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 304
Location: Riva, MD

24 Dec 2008, 10:03 am

It's a bad idea to ask a girl out over the internet. It makes it impersonal, and therefore, easier to say no. Just wait til you have her number and good luck.



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,663
Location: SLC, Utah

24 Dec 2008, 10:21 am

horrible idea.

do it in person.


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,008
Location: Houston, Texas

24 Dec 2008, 10:25 am

Scorchio17 wrote:
There's this girl I'm friends with that I like, and I have her e-mail address, but not her phone number. I want to ask her out some time over Christmas break, but I can't call her or talk to her in person. Would an e-mail message asking her out be a good bet, or would that seem too impersonal?


E-mail is fine. Don't worry about being "conventional" when it comes to things like this. If you think it's what works best for you, then that's what I would recommend.


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!


messygeek
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 106

24 Dec 2008, 12:53 pm

I've met people from the interwebs that Al Gore invented...

However I always chatted with them on the phone for long periods of time first, you never know she may be a he that has male pattern baldness and moobs.



CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

24 Dec 2008, 1:56 pm

messygeek wrote:
However I always chatted with them on the phone for long periods of time first, you never know she may be a he that has male pattern baldness and moobs.

This is what I'm trying to say. If you're not going to see her for a few weeks, it's not a bad thing at all to ask her out in email or on the phone (depending on time of day), but for goodness sakes, talk to her and flirt a bit before you leap!



beef_bourito
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,319
Location: Ontario, Canada

24 Dec 2008, 4:09 pm

if you think she's interested then i don't think there's a problem with it. the only issue i see is that you got her email for a school assignment. had you asked for it just to contact her it would be a different story, she'd be expecting it. so if you can wait until you see her in school again i'd say that's your best bet since i can't really judge her interest, but if you think she's interested in you then i don't think it would hurt.



Gremmie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 914
Location: England

24 Dec 2008, 5:21 pm

I've been asked out online before and tbh the main problem with it as far as I can see is the lack of other signals beyond words - I didn't know if the guy was joking or not and in the end just ignored him... actually tbh I still don't know...