What are the chances of two-aspie relationship?

Post Reply New Topic

CerebralDreamer, applying your percentages to the world's population gives a probability that there might be 2 million AS/AS couples on the planet.

It does not, however, give any indication of how successful these relationships might be.

Last edited by Shadow50 on 23 Dec 2008, 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's going to vary by couple.

Yes, this is true. I should have said that was pros and cons from MY experience, not claimed it was generally true. When talking about individuals there are so many variations, there is no real way to make generalized statements that really accurate.

Even in an AS-AS relationship, there have to be other reasons that bring people together.

For example, I would need someone who has the same interests and beliefs, someone who is consistent (not someone who suddenly goes from daily correspondence to monthly correspondence, claiming that she is really busy, but is really wasting her time on MySpace), someone who wants to start a family (I come across many people who don't want kids), someone in which I wouldn't have to compromise who I am in order to be with her.

Hmm. Read the book yet? Jerry and Mary Newport wrote a book length (more accurate) version of their story which was also released as a movie. The book and movie are both titled, "Mozart and the Whale". The book also has the sub-title, "An Aspergers Love Story". There is another book out about Autism and love, sex, and relationships. The name escapes me.

Sounds super schmoopy to me. But boy is it a roller-coaster. Being understood is very important to me. As an undiagnosed self-identifying aspie male, very high functioning, I have found a wonderful relationship with a deeply intuitive non-aspy female. I am meyers-briggs type INTP. She is INFJ. It is her capacity for intuition, and intellectual depth, plus the depth of her 'F' side (feeling) that is so incredibly complementary and a source of much of the richness of our relationship.

I do not want to date or marry myself. But I don't want to marry someone who can't understand me either. So I would advise you not to look for a type, and especially not a photocopy of yourself. We are individuals. Go be an individual. Go fall in love. Like you were normal. Sometimes its okay to copy the neurotypicals. Okay?

Canadian Froggy.

I would probably hate to have an aspie as a girlfriend
I am not a type to live a boring life
I enjoy socializing and surprises
I like new things, and aspies, most of the time are the opposite of that
mind you I have never met one so thankfully there's no problem there

from another thread:

I'm not going to rule out a relationship with a girl with AS, but if that's the only hope I've got then my prospects are about nil. Especially if the tendency of many young women on WP to marry early is anything to go by. So I haven't thought about this very much.

So you're saying you've made up your mind without any real experience, that you might base your conclusions on.

Wow. I wish we had a word in English for that. It would be so handy.

Those of us who are the type to live boring lives can only look with awe and wonder upon people such as you.

C.F.

And that number is something like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Epidemiologists rely largely on practitioners' diagnostic data ... practitioners don't necessarily ask themselves what they might be missing thanks to gender bias they're not aware of having.

In a few decades, the 1:4 ratio wil be embarrassing history.

One neurologist snapped at me, 'you can't be autistic - you were married!'

I replied it was interesting she had so little confidence in colleagues' judgement. What I should have said was, 'I don't make sense, but I like pizza!'


So much depends on the individual. Personal responsibility, curiosity about the world, commitment (from within) to individual growth for both as well as investment in the relationship ... these can't be taken for granted in neurotype of any ilk.

I think its very possible, common ground still reigns most important though. I'd say if you aren't noticing where your both having AS is creating any kind of miscommunication feedback loop that your past probably the most obvious hurdle with that.

Yeah, I think that would be my biggest hangup; especially PDD-NOS the need to kind of live as an NT is there and strikingly. That still could be hacked with a PDD-NOS or AS partner but, they'd have to be of a particular breed conducive to that.

How so? and why?

(And how does PDD/-NOS differ from autism, anyway? I get the ASD-AS difference, or think I do. But NOS=)

Lol, because I'm me and I have my own ambitions and sources of happiness - that's why .



NOS is usually milder than AS, usually entails less of a social LD (if any), so the symptoms are typically more autistic to where more likely your own nonverbal communication is limited or effected. It also still effects you because your wired on a different paradigm, even with good social graces being different at all is an impairment in itself. Also that's not forgetting synaesthesia, hypersensitivities, and all kinds of things that the label doesn't disclude.

I met my girlfriend thanks to wrong planet and shes an aspie. It seems to work out other than were both a little clueless about the opposite sex so its a constant learning experience.

I have little doubt that a relationship like this would work, but what is the point? Don't you want to improve your social/romantic skills? Don't you want someone to let you know when you're doing something wrong, or doing something right? It seems like an AS/AS relationship would make that difficult.

My opinion is that in a relationship there is no wrong or right. There is what you like and what you don't like, and this will only be determined by trying and/or discussing. So it has to be OK to try things, and to discuss things, but not force anyone to do anything they are not comfortable with. By agreement, and with understanding, this should be possible in any kind of relationship.