I LOVE ASPIES!!

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My 11 year old DD say's "Nerds rule the world."

Didn't bill gates say that in one of his speeches

"Be nice to the nerd, oneday they will be your boss"

I thought it was "chances are, you'll end up working for one"...

Well I can say I'm somewhat flattered by your proclamation that you think Aspie guys are wonderful. However, like I assume some people have posted on this particular post, they probably feel that you're just a rare gal who cares about autistic guys.

Let me add to your description a little bit to give you a sense of some of our perspectives:


"Many aspies are lonely and don't hang out with people much because they have diffuculty socializing and relating to other people"

"Many aspies (not all) do not trust neurotypicals because they can be hateful and arrogant in the same second they can be kind and friendly. And because we can't understand what's emotionally going on, we usually react passively, which only intensifies our mental frustration and sometimes our resentment of NT's"

"Many aspie guys resent women romantically in general, whether it be the cliche' and over done "Girls ignore nice guys and go after only confident, jerk types", or because most neurotypical women won't give an intelligent, friendly guy a chance because he's not nearly as new and exciting as other guys, and because he's not nearly as emotional as other guys"

Being emotionally aloof, shy, and socially reclusive is not to our benefit, in fact, it isolates us. Not being able to convey our emotions in the manner that neurotypicals can isolates us from women romantically. You may love aspies, but make no mistake, what you find attractive in us is a RARITY among women, who often base the entirity of their attraction on rather hasty and superficial desires.

I don't hate NT's and I don't resent them anymore. However, I thought I'd show you how much we are sometimes hindered by the very characteristics that you find amiable in us.

Aspiefan, where the hell are you? Don't you want my blessings ...or my autograph at least? I am the prince god of aspies after all.

Hi there!
Thank you all for reading my message and for your response. First of all, I want to apologize if my message cause any hurt or misunderstanding. It was not my intention. I could feel so much sadness, anger and pain in some of your messages. I'm sorry you have to fight so hard to be heard and understood. I saw the pain and the struggles my loved ones face daily and I can only imagine how hard it is. But more and more people (both NT and AS like myself) are joining hands to help you fight this battle. The Autism community has come a long way so don't lose heart.

To answer some of your questions. No, unfortunately, I don't know enough Aspies to form an army. They are preciously rare still. I have a few very dear family members and a growing number of friends who have AS. I said "growing number" cos Aspies are highly contagious. Their love slowly grows on you and you just can't stop at one. Do I think Aspies are god or that they are perfect? Of course not! Whether NT or AS... absolutely nobody is perfect.. AS is a spectrum. You can have all or just one of those qualities I listed depending on where you are on the spectrum.

I wrote that email because I've been through a tough journey which begins and ends in the following order : Ignorance -> painfully searching for answers -> education -> understanding -> acceptance -> appreciation -> love.
You might be curious how did I come to this conclusion? Actually, in the beginning I was having a really hard time understanding and communicating with some of my Aspies family members and friends. But I love them so much I was desperate for answers. After a long hard search I finally found my answers from 2 great persons who change my life forever!

One was Dr. Tony Attwood's. I'm pretty sure you have heard about him and his great works. If not, do yourself a HUGE favor and go google his name. He was the first to open my eyes to the world of AS. The other was a mother of an Aspie boy. She's the author of the most amazing book called "Finding Ben: A Mother's Journey Through the Maze of Asperger's". Even if you don't like books you have to read just this one. You can go to Amazon's website and read the amazing reviews or order the book.

( If you want to be understood and accepted by your loved ones, please read and get them this book. If you buy used ones from Amazon, it cost you just a few dollar but it will be a priceless investment. I bought so many for all my families and close friends.)

Why do think some Aspies are doing so well? If you google and you will find so many successful amazing Aspies out there who have helped change the world for the better. I believe many have been raised without knowing that they have AS or they simply don't let all these negative views affect them. My brother who is pretty successful in life told me there are 2 types of people in this world: The Optimists and the Pessimists
1) The Optimists
This group of people are either born , raised or learn to be optimists. They could look beyond all the ugly, the dirt and all the negative aspect of life and still see manage to see the goodness in everyone and everything. You will find them when you start learning to speak their language of optimism.

2) The Pessimists
People in this group always see problems. Most pessimist when facing problems magnify them, find excuses, blame others, hide, run away or whine and wallow in self pity. I was born and raised a pessimist and have to struggle to learn the language of an Optimist.

Some of extreme pessimists turned into 'garbage truck' (GT) running around collecting all the rejection, sorrow, anger, pain, hate and whatever bad experiences in their lives and then try to dump them onto poor innocent victims who are normally just minding their own business. They hurt everyone (both NT and AS) physically or emotionally. Most GT people have been abused as a child or have had some terrible painful experiences in their lives beyond our understanding or imagination. You can emphatize with them but the last thing you want to do is to keep their trash. If you keep them too long, you might risk turning into a GT yourself.

I personally feel most pessimists NTs are misinformed or just not well informed. Like the old me, many even tried to made their Aspies children/spouse become more "normal"! They overlooked all their uniqueness, their gifts, their talents, their goodness and who they truly were. If all the Aspies convert to NTs, we would have much fewer good engineers and musicians! That would be terrible!! !! We must continue the efforts to inform and educate and be a candle in the dark.

One of the best lesson I ever learned in my life was NOT to take things PERSONALLY.
To those who have hurt, misunderstood or judged you unfairly, learn to forgive and empathize with them. Most of them are either ignorant, misinformed or just plain GTs. Don't let them affect you too much. They are not out to attack you for who you are. They aer just very very unhappy and lots of problems. Feel sorry for them but NEVER NEVER feel sorry for yourself! Self pity is our own worst invisible enemy. According to The Law of Self-fulfilling Prophecy, people respond the way you expect them to respond. You get what you expect.

Actually, there are many good points and advantages to being an Aspie. You can read about them at Dr. Tony Attwood's website. He is a guru and formost authority on AS.

I am sorry but I'm terrible at writing, debating or convincing people. I just want you to know there are people (including gals) out there who see your strengths and gifts. Who knows you could be an unpolished diamond hidden among the plain old rocks and don't even know it. Stop wasting time feeling sorry for yourself. Work on becoming a polished diamond!

Buddhists believe "There is only a problem if there is a cause and a solution. If there is none, then it is NOT a problem."
Nobody has found the cause and cure for Autism/AS yet. What we have is only a lot of labels, wild guessing and expensive quick fix solution with little or no scientific proof.

Christians believe god created all man and HE made no mistakes. Who knows may be god intentionally created more Aspies for a good cause?

From the scientific point of view, natural selection, survival of the fittest is when the species (e.g. human) is able to pass on desireable hereditary traits/genes to future generations. May be that explains why Autism/AS is on the rise.

I don't have all the answers to your questions cos I'm just a very simple person sharing my experience. But I do know if you want to be loved, you have to start by loving yourself a little more. Mahatma Gandhi once said: "You must be the change you want to see in this world."
I was very moved by what I heard on HGTV: "Sometimes answers come only when you stop searching for them."
There's always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get stuck in the darkness. Move on.

Peace and love for all!

Just to let you now, I am not one of those great aspies. I am no good at math or a musician, engineer or an inventor. I am not good at them. I'm not a stereotype. All those stereotypes get to me because they make it look like all aspies can do those things and people just get the wrong idea about us.

When Rain Man came out, people got the wrong idea about autism so they thought all auties were like him and didn't think someone was autstic just because he or she wasn't like him.

Good intentions or not, for some unknown reason that just really ticked me off

Why was this posted in Love and Dating?

I love Ass pies.

Don't worry AspieFan911, Love and Dating is a harsh cold wilderness with every beast-erhm I mean, man, for himself. I understand where you're coming from and appreciate your good intentions.

A lot of us aspies here (and I include myself in this one) are pretty hardened by life experiences, so we may come across as a bit harsh, but underneath I promise you we're mostly softies really.

I hope you haven't taken hurt or offense from any of the comments in this thread.

I really admire the way in which you have set out and turned your perceptions and life around (in the whole optimistic thinking way), I think it takes a very determined person to do that to the extent in which it appears you have.

Signing off for a while! (I really need to get back to the real world for a time)

~Sunshower

Could you like move to my town real quick so I would have someone I could hang out with and not have to pretend I'm NT? I'd really love an NT friend who understood my Aspieness and wouldn't mind going to the movies and having me ask every 5 minutes "what are they doing?", "why did he say that?" "I don't understand what is going on", etc. I have friends now that say I should be hiding my Aspieness.

You shouldn't feel bad about this. You sound like a typical gal on the spectrum. Um the whole math stereotype is about the guy Aspies anyway. I've not met a single female Aspie skilled in math, yet many of the guys are brilliant with numbers. If I remember correctly in grade school it was always the boys who did well in math class anyway and girls were always mediocre at best. I even have a mathematics disorder diagnosis yet also have Aspergers diagnosis so there you go you're not the only gal bad with math.

I find math of little use other than figuring out tips for the waiter. So its not like we're missing out on much. Being a math expert would just make us even more boring to the NT world.

Thanks Ticker, I really appreciated that. I wasn't feeling bad, I just wanted her to be aware not all aspies have those talents.

While I see lot of aspies getting rejection, I sit here and wonder why is it that I don't get the same crap they get? Am I just lucky or am I normal enough to get respect? Why is it that people like my honesty, my directness and straightforwardness? Why is it they don't mind my lack of eye contact? In fact why don't they see anything wrong with me? My ex's sure did.
My parents did tell me things will get better when I'm an adult and they were right. Adults don't normally pick on someone they dislike, instead they treat everyone with respect, even to people they don't like unless they are as*holes.
Maybe I just run into open minded people. The people at work hardly speak english so I can't read them well or understand them and I don't care if they yammer at me. I just ignore them. I have learned some cues though such as when I get handed a note, I am to read it to them because they can't read it.

As a kid I wished I could get treated with respect and not get bullied so much and get treated different, well my wish came true so now I feel normal.

It also occurred to me why I don't get so much rejection. I keep myself away from people. I had been in a local gathering here and I got accepted in it because the rest were just different. I heard that lot of people with this fetish we have have emotional problems or trauma, have a disability.

One thing some aspies love is praise **beam** I really enjoyed reading that list of good qualities. i agree that i have all those things it's too bad for the world that i keep to myself so much. but hey, i love this life.

Me no beast!

Well, I have a good hairy chest here.....

**ROAAR**