Any Aspies here that dated a Borderliner?

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I don't know what it is but proabbly not.

I've only dated people with annoying syndrome.

They might have turned annoying when you devalued them hale

??

Borderline personalities are developed in response to experiences. Autistic personalities are developed because their neurological differences causes them to perceive their experiences differently. How does that change the fact that both personalities hurts other people?

Basically, what you're saying is this:
An autistic personality that hurts people because their neurological difference caused their personality to develop that way is excused their behaviour and it's not a disorder. A borderline personality that hurts people because they've had experiences that caused their personality to develop that way isn't excused, and it is a disorder. That the autistic personality, because its root cause is neurological, it's involuntary. That the borderline personality, because its root cause wasn't neurological, it is voluntary. Do you honestly think that the borderline person had greater control over how their personality developed than the autistic?

There seems to be this perception that the borderline is any less a slave to their own neurological structure/subconscious than autistics are to theirs. That because the autistic personality is different/disruptive due to different subconscious processing virtue of the different neurological structures, they are excused and that that personality is not a disorder. That because the borderline personality is different/disruptive due to different subconscious processing virtue of childhood experiences, they are not excused, their personality is a disorder, AND IT IS INTENTIONAL. One would think that, given the conception that autistics are more calculating and control their behaviour consciously more than normal people, they do it more intentionally than bipolar people. Of course, this conception is ignored when convenient and endorsed when it suits.



How does this make the two different, though? Neither is able to help themselves very much. Personality is wired into a great deal of stuff: It colors your thoughts, it colors your perceptions, it's wired into how you process thoughts. People don't have much control over their subconscious. With autism, the neurological differences causes their different subconscious processes. With borderline, their experiences cause their different subconscious processes. The idea that they can be 'cured' or 'healed' any more than autistics can is merely a perception with absolutely no evidence that they're not just adapting further. The same assumptions are made when autistics adapt and are proclaimed 'cured'. You know it's not the case, but when people are making the same assumptions about borderline people, you stop questioning those assumptions and start believing it to be truth.


The same can be said about autism: Autism is a negative condition because it consists of harmful traits that the autistic can be 'trained' not to show. Do you believe the same applies to autistics, and that they shouldn't be allowed to exhibit harmful behaviours just because they're autistic? You may not be able to cure the root cause of autism, but you can modify their behavioural reactions so that they don't react in harmful negative ways. Basically, that is what you're suggesting should be done to borderline people.

Borderline personalities are false or 'fake' personalities. Most borderlines are NTs who dissociated at an early age to escape painful emotions. Genuine healing of BLPD is not 'adapting' further into falsity, it is recovering what is real - the NT personality that was abandoned in childhood.

This is the exact opposite of a 'cured' autistic, who starts life real, but learnt to suppress their real personality and 'adapt' into a faked NT persona.



This is an area where 'evidence' is a difficult concept. I think the closest you'll get to evidence is the testimonials of self-proclaimed recovered-borderlines. Some of them describe the healing process with great sentiment and lucidity - moments of epiphany, self-discovery and overwhelming emotional release.

articles on healing written by a recovered borderline;
http://www.suite101.com/articles.cfm/bo ... ersonality
http://www.suite101.com/articles.cfm/bo ... ality/more

Problems are bound to arise when Asperger's meets BPD, as the latter seems to be one of the "needier" disorders at times.

When someone seeks constant reassurance that they are valued, and their Aspie partner cannot take their cue to provide it, the relationship is doomed.

My boyfriend's depressed/possibly BPD/possibly bi-polar, and sometimes the strain is unbearable.

Danlo,

You still haven't answered my question. How come you know so much about BPD and defend it so passionately?

Been through that mill

Postperson, because I'm passionate about trying to help people realize that it is all just a point of view, and that there are many points of view that are as equally valid as the popularly accepted point of view everyone accepts as truth. It is no less important in these instances where one group of "disabled people" debates another group of "disabled people", and that first group wants equality and to shed the tag of "disorder", yet continue to perceive other groups in the same light as people perceive the first group.

Well if one has been personally damaged by knowing a psychopath/sociopath of some variety, then one is entitled to avoid them. It would be foolish to do otherwise.

I totally agree with you, Postperson.

Well put.

This sounds a LOT like Yasmeen, whom I dated for about, hmmm, two years I guess.

official DX of MPD, but it wasn't correct, as she was the same person, just would randomly completely switch most aspects of her personality, there were patterns to it, and I could get along well with her most time, but it could be confusing never knowing what she would be like each time I met her in person. All in all, since I was able to discern patterns in her behavior it wasn't too bad, in fact in some ways it was kinda fun never knowing what to expect, yet still knowing it would be one of a set of patterns.