Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

sands
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 275

29 Jan 2009, 12:29 am

of love? And which is your favorite? I like the type that makes me feel calm inside...sort of like finding a piece to my puzzle!


_________________
Cassandra Lou

What's normal anyway?


Kaysea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 688

29 Jan 2009, 12:48 am

I honestly don't know. I don't believe that I ever will - I have realized that when I say "I love you," it means something different than when NT's say it. But, then again, I don't seem to be able to experience complex, adult emotions in the same way that most people (including quite a few on WP) can.

There is one girl (best friend from college) that I seem to connect with in a way that transcends friendship and 'love' (ie; how I feel about family members and some long-term partners)... perhaps that is what 'love' is. It is some sort of "you get me and I get you" thing that I have never quite had with anyone else... Actually, however, I think it has more to do with the fact that she has some sort of neurological condition, probably AS or NLD (she has never told me what one it is... She visited me about a month ago, and tried to 'spit it out' a few times (after five years), but never quite got it out). We also have exactly the same interests and worldview. I would imagine this is what NT's call "soul mates." Whatever it is, it is beautiful, and is slightly different than the relationships that I have had with the two male AS friends I have had over the years.

I wish I knew what "love" was.

P.S. Pardon me for the rant... it is after midnight in NY and I am slightly innebriated (sp?)



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

29 Jan 2009, 4:15 am

Ideally, I like non-possessive unconditional love the best...Where you really accept, admire and value the person just for who they are and whatnot, and wish the very best for them under any circumstance.

Love is a weird and confusing thing.

I would like to not be able to feel loneliness or jealousy or possessiveness as a result of my feelings for someone.



lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

29 Jan 2009, 4:36 am

C.S. Lewis in his book called Four Loves talks about 1 eros, which is erotic love and being in love, 2 storge, which is love of the familiar, patriotism, love of family, 3 philos, which is friendship love, and 4 agape which is godly love.



frodosam
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 10 Dec 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 48

29 Jan 2009, 4:36 am

Love is confusing. Most people love their family but personally, I don't feel anything. They are just family. I would probably feel pain if something happened to them, but I don't feel anything being around them. Romantic love wise, I actually feel something, not just the lust feelings, but love. I wish I felt it more.



Agingdarkflame
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 21

29 Jan 2009, 2:56 pm

every guy has uro love



mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,675
Location: Arizona

29 Jan 2009, 3:07 pm

lelia wrote:
C.S. Lewis in his book called Four Loves talks about 1 eros, which is erotic love and being in love, 2 storge, which is love of the familiar, patriotism, love of family, 3 philos, which is friendship love, and 4 agape which is godly love.


Those are the 4 greek words for the one word we call 'love'



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,807
Location: Stendec

29 Jan 2009, 3:22 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
lelia wrote:
C.S. Lewis in his book called Four Loves talks about 1 eros, which is erotic love and being in love, 2 storge, which is love of the familiar, patriotism, love of family, 3 philos, which is friendship love, and 4 agape which is godly love.

Those are the 4 greek words for the one word we call 'love'

Correct. But wait! There's more:

Agape (a-GOP-aye) is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people. (Imho, this type does not exist at all! - Fnord)

Eros focusses on the romance and passion of the relationship as most important.

Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying and manipulation are de rigeur of "Game of Love." A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.

Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.

Phileo is the kind of love that is based upon a sense of sibling relation - a "brotherly" or "sisterly" type of love that is neither demanding nor committal. A person in this state of love feels an attachment to another, but feels no possessiveness or jealousy for the other person's relationships or interests. Romance is not an issue, nor is sexual activity.

Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired. This was once called "Stoic" love, or dutiful love.

Storge (STORE-gay) is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.


_________________
 
I have no love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,675
Location: Arizona

29 Jan 2009, 3:32 pm

Excellent, Fnord! I didn't know some of those words. Thanks for teaching me something new :D



RockJustice
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 39

29 Jan 2009, 7:15 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
Excellent, Fnord! I didn't know some of those words. Thanks for teaching me something new :D


Seconded.



sands
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 275

30 Jan 2009, 2:46 am

I think I would prefer to feel the agape and storge kind then! I know that sounds rather silly, but for me it would be best. I don't mind feeling passion for someone, but I would prefer to actually enjoy being with that person when the lights were on too.


_________________
Cassandra Lou

What's normal anyway?


stjarna
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 95
Location: Sweden

30 Jan 2009, 3:25 am

I would like a combination of Eros and Storge. Passionate love and special interests in common... Oh yes. I guess these two contradict each other but I think it would be the only way for me. Passion alone is not enough, I know that from experience.

Great post, Fnord! :D


_________________
"Never again is what you swore the time before..."