The pursuit of beauty, and why I've been left out (long)

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im Not that Purdy and not Many guys hit on me. Come on Guys i may have Glasses spots and a potato Shaped face but Im butiful on the inside

Ok some of the stuff in the initial post have caught my attention, for one saying that activities that would threaten the way a woman looked are despised by us, well ok, taking your example, camping, I can say that i like to camp even though it means sleeping in a tent in a forest with no facilitated bathroom or anything, i have done this and i absolutly loved it, enjoyed every minute, i also work on my own car, not just checking the water and oil, but i actually change my own oil and know how to change a wheel if needs be.
I enjoy being able to do stuff myself without depending on someone else to do it for me.

Next saying that women are only interested in rich men, that again is not true, at least in my case, i would rather have a truthful, honest man who was not rich than a conceited rich man as my bf, i value someones personality miles above what they have in their bank accounts.

baby

You've got my interest up now A real diamond in the rough! You probably think I'm a real jerk though after making all those statements!! !

nah, don't think you're a jerk, just ease up on the generalisations, i'm abit of a one off, i love getting my hands dirty, like to do stuff myself cos' i get antsy if someone does it for me

baby

That's what women SAY though. My girl friend and I agree that women tend to (in general) not know what they want. Even my friend admitted that she has been like that on occasion in the past. However she is now very mature and kudos to the guy who has gone out with her for four years.

Some of the females on this board seem to think that they are the only women in the world and that all women are carbon copies of them, who all have the same values and look for the same things in men. Reality check: David DeAngelo has researched these phenomena about women for years, and women even write to him saying that everything he says is true, and they never thought of themselves in that light until reading his articles.

The females on this board are mature - having AS creates maturity at certain levels. But the majority of women in the 16-20 age bracket have very low standards about men.

Here's some additional Canadian statistics I've dug up.

- Women married to or living with heavy drinkers, are 5 times more likely to be assaulted by their partners than are women who live with non-drinkers

- In a study, over 49 percent of female students in high school had been emotionally abused, 14.5 percent reported being physically forced into sex, and 9.1 percent had been physically assaulted.

- Almost 80 percent of high-school students surveyed continued to date their abusive partners after experiencing violence. In almost half of these cases, the violence continued. Only 22 percent of the students disclosed that they had been abused and the vast majority of them told only their peers.

- A recent City of Toronto survey shows that female youth regard physical assault, discrimination, harassment and sexual gender issues as three of the top four factors impacting their personal sense of safety. Further, the study shows that young women require approaches and programs that are responsive to their unique needs and ways of relating.

- One-third of teens report experiencing some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, including verbal and emotional abuse.

- Twenty-six percent of girls in grades 9 to 12 have been the victim of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or date rape.

These are some VERY interesting statistics, some of which I didn't even know about until this afternoon and are shocking. One third of teens say they have experienced some kind of abuse in their romantic relationship, and assuming 90% of the complaints are from females, who represent about 48% of the teenage population in Canada, that translates into about 63% of teenage girls that report such abuse - well over half. Of that 63%, almost 80% are choosing to stay in the relationship. Of that 80%, almost half continue to experience violence. So, about 25% of Canadian teenage girls not only experience violent relationships, but choose to remain in the relationship and they continue to be abused. One quarter is a substantial number.

Not only that, but note the statistic on men who drink heavily.

And yet, "female youth regard physical assault, discrimination, harassment and sexual gender issues as three of the top four factors impacting their personal sense of safety." So girls are afraid of violence, no question. But what are they doing to stop it? They just b*tch and complain that men are bad and violent, but they don't generally make any effort to avoid the guys that will abuse them. They include guys who have drinking or drug problems, or have past abuse history, or even have abused that girl in the past. These guys tend to have a common personality, which include the cocky and funny aspect that women want.

Women certainly don't want to be abused, but they get abused, because they would rather be abused and be with a "man" than be respected by a "wuss". Other women agree with me. I have loads of statistics to back up my points. What more do the feminists want?

Come on. I'd like to see statistics to prove me wrong.

The first stat is from http://www.harbour.sfu.ca/freda/articles/statsw.htm, and the rest are from http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/Newsletter2005/Statistics_On_Young_Women_Violence.htm.

You asked to be proven wrong. I'm a model and actress (Although I took this last year off except for the occasional shoot) and I have been since I was a toddler. As a result the vast majority of my friends are also actresses and models. Almost none of us wear make up outside of a shoot, we wear ponytails, we go camping (Ry and I go several times a year), a lot of us have children and husbands not out partying and at dance clubs. My hobbies include restoring antiques, gardening ect, nothing glamourous and I certainly don't look too spiffy covered in paint or dirt. and I don't usually even get out of my tennis shoes unless I absolutley have to. My fiance couldn't buy me a sports car if his life depended on it and I wouldn't have it any other way. The only women like the ones you described that I know are for the most part young, unintelligent gold diggers who have nothing else to offer besides a skinny waist and hair extensions, that is not the kind of person anyone wants for a partner in life and most of the women like that I have met have been *suprise* single. If this is the reason you think you are single I would suggest trying to meet new people, the ones you are meeting now are the bottom of the barrel even if they look nice.

It's really ironic that Ellicim used stats from a site called "woman abuse prevention" to make a post blaming women for being abused.

Looking good gives you an advantage in life. Sure, some girls don't care about money and some guys don't care about looks, but IN GENERAL, what people are saying holds true.

CLICK FOR Scientific evidence:

I'll do you one better:

http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/002711.html

I remember hearing about that study when it came out (the one I linked, or one very similar with the same results) and I was pretty horrified.

It is, isn't it. And their stats have come back to bite them, even if in the end it still achieves the same end of attempting to prevent abuse against women.

When the numbers are that high, it's fair game.

Lemme ask you this Serissa: Do you leave your front door unlocked at night? If you do, don't complain to me when a burglar comes in and steals your valuables. Preventing robbery is just as much the responsibility of the moron who would rob a house and the homeowner.

Perhaps you should subscribe to DeAngelo's newsletter. I've been getting it for about eight months now. Want the URL?

While you've got an extra Internet window open, perhaps you could find me some hard numbers to prove that women cannot prevent abuse against themselves from men.

I maintain that the women in my community who have been murdered by boyfriends could have done a lot more to protect themselves, and members of this community agree. One of the cases was in court recently and I believe the suspect was pleading guilty. The local newspaper described some of the circumstances, but I know more details from sources close to the family. She effectively committed suicide, the way she was living.

Serissa - think of a woman craving a jerk who is abusive as smoking cigarettes. Smoking gives you a certain pleasure that you crave and cave into constantly, yet smoking causes a host of preventable diseases that we as a society are well aware of. It is partly the responsibility of the smoker to not start smoking in the first place. Saying women have no responsibility to prevent abuse is like laying all the blame for modern smoking-related deaths (i.e. people that started smoking after it became known to be dangerous) on tobacco companies.

I think you may have just hit the nail on the head! The more well-rounded females out there...like yourself, from the way you've described yourself...are, well, already taken. Being an Aspie, I had not chance in competing against many of the sly-talking NT's out there that had no problem attracting them away from me! Basically what you describe is all that's been left at my age...the bottom of the barrel!

I guess I need to figure out what types of hobbies and activites the gals like to do in their spare time, and then see about taking them up. That would be a way to meet them I suppose. I'm certainly not gonna meet them camping, working on cars, or at electronics swap-meets!

Now talk about timing. There was an excellent, in-depth article in the local paper this morning about this very case, and it paints a very grim picture of the poor choices some women make.

http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Nation ... 3-sun.html

Of note in this article:

For a long time, murder victim Laura Wilson convinced herself there was some good in Jamie Vandersanden. [...] Vandersanden, now 25, was a hard-drinking, drug-abusing, prison-tattooed, muscular ex-con determined to cut Wilson off from her loved ones and have her for himself. Their relationship contained a familiar recipe for tragedy that ended in horror and rage the morning of Jan. 9, 2005 in Wilson's [condo]. [...] Vandersanden said he was involved with white supremacists as a teen. [...] Their next contact was in a collect call from Vandersanden to Wilson in 2002 from prison where he was serving a three-year sentence for offences including attempted armed robbery. Wilson's mother tried to discourage the relationship. Once released, Wilson drove him back [home]. When he was sent back on a parole violation, he wrote her: "This is by far the best relationship I've been in yet." He warned her about cheating. "If you did it to me, it would be all over for you and the goof you were (expletive)." When released in 2003, he started to control her. He didn't like photos of her male friends and didn't like her in certain clothing. At her father's funeral, he left angry because of comfort Wilson's friends gave her. She agreed to move in with him. Wilson's mother, Teresa, made him promise to care for her "and keep her safe." [...] Friends warned her Vandersanden could be dangerous. [...] He tried to flirt with a female officer and made up songs with lyrics like, "Have you ever stabbed a b***h."

Now, Serissa, Mockingbird, and I think Danlo, let's discuss this. There was a very damn obvious recipe for a murder here. Laura should never have given this useless member of society a chance. This is precisely why she was murdered. No woman in their right mind should date such a loser, who is involved with White Supremists, heavy drinking, and illicit drugs. Had she gone out with a "nice guy", none of this would have happened, and Laura's mother would not have had to deal with the deaths of both her husband and daughter in one year (the husband died of a heart attack 10 months earlier).

I am sure everyone is quite disturbed that what I have said in previous posts has truth to it. And, this is certainly not the only case in the last couple years of this nature in this particular metropolis of over 400,000.

Last edited by ELLCIM on 27 Mar 2006, 2:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not always true, perhaps you haven't spoken to people who would have had similar interests for whatever reason. (maybe the occassion never came up, maybe you didn't realize they were your kind of person) I would say that your best bet is to try and meet women while doing your hobbies, you may think that you won't meet anyone there, but I bet you'd be suprised.

Well said Pooftis.
Some of us "well rounded women" are not taken.
There are quite a bit of us who enjoy camping, hiking, fixing computers, writing code, AND doing "girl" stuff (cough), however, I do have to agree on indecisive ness, although I disagree on it only being a female trait. There are a lot of guys out there who have difficulties making up their minds, also the generalization that all women are out to find rich guys to nap is unfair as well. That all being said let me put a new spin on that last statement if you will...maybe people are looking for security, all be it misplaced. They are programmed to find the perfect mate, whether it be symmetricly, through scent, looks, money what have you. We want security, someone to "protect us" (that is figuratively speaking), and someone with whom the race will not fail (genetically speaking).
Some of these above mentioned things we do instinctively (as GroovyDruid has mentioned in his musings), and some, it is sad to say, is done quite purposefully (the so called supermodel searching for mister multibillionaire).

Humans...

Some of us just want some type of companionship, with someone tolerant enough to put up with OUR quirks, obsessions, stims, and meltdowns.

It seems you have a theory of other (the other sex).
I found your observations rather interesting if frustrated, but I thought that I would give you my two sense.

In the first place, if the discouraged tone of your comments reflects your over all feelings, don't get too discouraged. I know what its like to be an aspie who cannot find any one who wants to date him. I litterally got my first date at age 30, but then again I married the first girl I dated when I was 31. At age 32, you have no reason to doubt that you will find someone wh loves the out door activities that you love.

Second place, assuming that you are not really that discouraged, but you just wanted to make some observations, I have a comment about your observations. The recent trend on the part of women towards appearance concern is a part of an overall trend in our society towards greed, and self-centeredness. The media fuels the trend. The trend on the part of men towards obsession with the appearance of women, with creating the appearance of career success, and not coincidently obsession with getting attractive women who they can show off to their friends like trophies, is also fueled by media. If every one would stop trying to prove they are better than others and concentrate on being happy themselves, it is hard to believe that they would not all be better off.

Bottom line:

I think you have a valid observation here, but it is a mistake to single women out. Out whole culture seems to be following the track off the same cliff.


Rabbit

I suppose te best thing i could say, is not to try and put all woman in the same bracket when trying to figure us out, we're not all the same.
I like to take on the more physical side of stuff rather than just sitting on the sidelines looking pretty, tried that and got seriously bored.
But there are women who do like a man to do stuff for them.

Now don't get me wrong i'm not a raving feminist and i do appreciate gentlemanly gestures like a man holding a door for me or taking my coat, but i like them to be gestures that are meant not just because society has it as a niceity.

well thats my little rave over with

baby