The Unification of Love and Sex

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Haliphron
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23 Feb 2009, 1:13 pm

Where, oh where did this ridiculous society myth that love and sex are Not mutually exclusive come from?
Women love to promulgate it and in relationships they pretend that its true but even THEY no better than that. For example, I one read an article about how to explain sex to children starting with: When a man and woman really love each others....... :roll:

GAH! That sh*t makes me wanna PUKE!



JohnHopkins
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23 Feb 2009, 1:42 pm

Where did this Asperger's assumption that sex and love are only EVER separate come from?



ToadOfSteel
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23 Feb 2009, 2:05 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
Where did this Asperger's assumption that sex and love are only EVER separate come from?


TV often depicts sex without love (and there are over 9000 fairy tales where the inverse is depicted, in order to save the *precious* innocence of little children :roll: ) which leads to the assumption that they have to be separate entities... although they need not mutually exclusive in a relationship, and one can certainly lead to the other, but to say that they are anything but two separate entities is just plain BS...



Magnus
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23 Feb 2009, 2:29 pm

I would not want to have sex with someone I wasn't in love with. I've done it just because I wanted to be like everyone else. They seemed to be having fun. It was just awkward for me.

I think guys can have sex without being in love and they may even think girls are weak for not being able to not care. This used to bother me and I tried to overcome my emotions by trying to view sex like a man. I found that it was just 2 dimensional, meaningless, and base.

For me, and I suspect many other girls, the whole body orgasm makes the genital one seem dull. A clitoris has many more nerve ending than does the tip of a penis. Therefore, we can have a similar male orgasm experience but still, the whole body love connection orgasm is far more extraordinary.

So, men don't need and often don't want love with sex. Women need love to have the ultimate orgasm. It's an evolutionary joke to make us suffer. :?


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mitharatowen
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23 Feb 2009, 2:31 pm

^ Wow I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds very interesting!



Magnus
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23 Feb 2009, 2:40 pm

^What part are you missing?

Perhaps you should try to have tantric sex with aliens.


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mitharatowen
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23 Feb 2009, 2:43 pm

^ I've never heard of the 'full body' orgasm that requires love. It sounds intruiging.
Hey I'd take an alien!



RockDrummer616
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23 Feb 2009, 2:45 pm

I think you should never have sex with someone you don't love. It just doesn't make any sense. I know it feels good and all, but why would you do that? :shrug:



Haliphron
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23 Feb 2009, 3:03 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
Where did this Asperger's assumption that sex and love are only EVER separate come from?



ASPERGERS assumption??? :roll:

Buddy, lemme tell ya: Ive met PUH-LEN-TY of NTs of both sexes who have agreed with me that they are Not the same thing and they CAN be mutually exclusive. Just because the may be present simulatanously it is illogical to conclude that they imply one another! I have met people whom I wanted to have sex with but I did NOT love them, AND vice versa. You can love somebody yet not feel any sort of physical attraction to them.



Haliphron
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23 Feb 2009, 3:07 pm

Magnus wrote:
I would not want to have sex with someone I wasn't in love with. I've done it just because I wanted to be like everyone else. They seemed to be having fun. It was just awkward for me.

I think guys can have sex without being in love and they may even think girls are weak for not being able to not care. This used to bother me and I tried to overcome my emotions by trying to view sex like a man. I found that it was just 2 dimensional, meaningless, and base.

For me, and I suspect many other girls, the whole body orgasm makes the genital one seem dull. A clitoris has many more nerve ending than does the tip of a penis. Therefore, we can have a similar male orgasm experience but still, the whole body love connection orgasm is far more extraordinary.

So, men don't need and often don't want love with sex. Women need love to have the ultimate orgasm. It's an evolutionary joke to make us suffer. :?


Excuse me Magnus, but many men DO have a need for love and there ARE women who can enjoy sex with a man despite not actually loving him. Speak for yourself, and not for all women. Im not chastizing you simply for generalizing, Im simply pointing out that I dont think this particular generalization about women is accurate. Women in fact are JUST as shallow and superficial as men are but they do a much better job at pretending not to be.



MissConstrue
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23 Feb 2009, 3:59 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
JohnHopkins wrote:
Where did this Asperger's assumption that sex and love are only EVER separate come from?


TV often depicts sex without love (and there are over 9000 fairy tales where the inverse is depicted, in order to save the *precious* innocence of little children :roll: ) which leads to the assumption that they have to be separate entities... although they need not mutually exclusive in a relationship, and one can certainly lead to the other, but to say that they are anything but two separate entities is just plain BS...


I think there might be some truth to that depending on the person.

Take Grey's Anatomy for instance, everytime someone "loves" a person they just met in one day, they're suddenly in bed together and still have feelings for eachother after that. I not only find this very unrealistic but kind of upsetting if a teenager was to watch how people behave when they're in love.

I was raised with two parents who seem to be best friends now. So maybe this might be the reason why I don't think they're seperate.

Again it depends and yes even women will only get with a guy for sex. I'm not sure how love and sex intertwine since I've never really experienced love but I hear couples all the time about how much they love eachother and how well their sex lives are going...including old people..... :x


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Kauf039
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23 Feb 2009, 4:14 pm

It is a personal thing, whether the person can seperate the physical from the emotional or not. They are two seperate entities, however with all the release in chemicles and the like, some cannot see the difference between the two.


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johnsirett
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23 Feb 2009, 4:45 pm

You MAY have SEX WITHOUT LOVE

You MAY have LOVE WITHOUT SEX

LOVE MAY OR MAY NOT lead to SEX

That's the simple truth.



JohnHopkins
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23 Feb 2009, 6:18 pm

Haliphron wrote:
JohnHopkins wrote:
Where did this Asperger's assumption that sex and love are only EVER separate come from?



ASPERGERS assumption??? :roll:

Buddy, lemme tell ya: Ive met PUH-LEN-TY of NTs of both sexes who have agreed with me that they are Not the same thing and they CAN be mutually exclusive. Just because the may be present simulatanously it is illogical to conclude that they imply one another! I have met people whom I wanted to have sex with but I did NOT love them, AND vice versa. You can love somebody yet not feel any sort of physical attraction to them.


I'll be blunt since you're being so condascending to me - read what I said more carefully and try again.



Orbyss
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24 Feb 2009, 12:18 am

I've discovered I can't actually have sex without love. I can, in that I can be penetrated, but I can't get any further than that; I'm frigid all the way through, and it can hurt. If I were a man, I'd be flaccid.

I think that it's a popular image in the media and in our romantic society since the feeling of limerence, and the passion it brings to sex, is a very strong, even urgent, emotion. Sex without love or limerence is often considered very unfulfilling. I can't imagine why anyone would want to have sex without the other emotions, since all that is left is physical, which, in my opinion, feels empty and even difficult (or in my case, impossible) to achieve without emotional and psychological backing.

What I'm trying to say is, it's common to associate the two, and according to many accounts cross-culturally, not just restricted to our own culture and current modern societies. It's just much more encouraged and less suppressed than in some others. Maybe the 'aspie culture' has a different view, which makes sense considering the effects it has on bonding and social activities, which is what we're talking about. So, if you don't like it, that doesn't mean it's false or negative, it's just a different point of view altogether. I can understand both sides, but I'm [possibly unfortunately] NT when it comes to this sort of subject, obviously.



Anna4077
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28 Feb 2009, 6:43 am

I believe it was Woody Allen who once said about casual sex, "As far as meaningless experiences go, its one of the best." :lol:

Personally, I find it impossible to be sexually attracted to anyone I care about,which is why I prefer to have sex with strangers.