anyone else NOT looking for a partner?

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I have little, if any, interest in romatic relationships. I'd rather have a good friend instead.

I found out lately that all these little things that girls might find attractive in a guy (ie. cooking skill) are totally unimportant when major things are lacking.

This is pretty much my take on the issue.

I started with "yes, actively looking" and slowly worked my way to no, and actively avoiding a relationship. I realized I was wasting my energy by giving it away to people who don't care about me to begin with. No one is interested in dating me, so I'm turning my back on the rest of the dating world.

I've mostly actively avoided relationships. Occasionally I'll try to have one, and then I realize how difficult it is to find someone on my "wavelength" who can get around their own relationship problems. So my few relationships have not lasted any longer than six months, and I go back to "what was I thinking trying to have a relationship".

When I was seeing a psychotherapist she said to me, "Can you imagine that there might be a woman who will accept you as you are?' And, honestly, I can't imagine it. Because when I go into shutdown/non-communicative mode, my girlfriends have seemed to consider that to be a relationship breaker. It's much simpler to be alone and to not have to try to explain myself and to not be a disappointment to someone I care about.

Z

yeah I've developed the same attitude with my few past attempts at relationships. now my motto is "if you love it, set it free". people need affection and attention payed to them in order to be happy and it's no point in me making someone I care about unhappy. I'd like to say I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in thinking this way, but that would probably be quite mean since it's not the best and happiest way to be.

anyway, thanks for replying guys, I feel slightly less like a weirdo now :p

I don't want to be alone, sex drive has returned after being absent for quite a while. And I need someone I feel comfortable with and know well to have a satisfying sex life. It's important when you are 20, 21. Maybe when I am 50 I'll feel more like I want to be a hermit. Right now I'm a hermit and I don't want to be.

But I never want to live with someone else and share my space. That seems to be a dealbreaker for any long-term relationship. And I'm genuinely bad at all the other stuff

But I answered actively seeking. If you don't actively seek love, your chances diminish so quickly- especially if you're bad at recognizing those half-chances you get every once in a while. I sincerely doubt that I'll ever be able to handle a relationship. But I've still got about 8 years until I give up

As much as I want to "feel the love" I'm not a social person, I just don't want to feel obligated to talk to someone. If I ever get one I want her to be fine with the fact that I might not have anything to talk about somedays. And besides I'm so awkward that I would be so uncomfortable that I'm afraid it would take away from the romance.

If I never find the right person, I'm going to be fine with remaining single all my life. I mean that is a lot coming from me, I truly believe that I have some romantic passion, I mean I've been in love practically throughout my whole life. There were times where all I thought about all day was romance usually with one special girl.

I picked passively looking though I'm not really looking at all. There are so many women in my area yet I don't find a single one of them interesting.

I'll make compromises but I need to have time to myself too. I'm not changing my personality, values or anything like that but I will respect the other person as an equal person and listen to what they have to say, be there for them in their time of need, and be romantic when the time is right.

In all honesty I don't think I'm good for any girl right now due to issues I have with myself, that being said if an opportunity presents itself I might go for it, until then I'm gonna keep being myself!

This may sound weird, but it's worth saying imo. I saw some people do a reenactment of American culture in the 1860's, and I got to say I can totally go for those women. Not because I have some desire to oppress women, or that I feel threatened by a modern day "strong woman". But because this "strong woman" act is a turn off to me much the same way those obnoxious macho men who try to prove their masculinity is a turn off to women. I'd like to meet a nice woman who actually acts feminine, but not any of that fake materialistic feminine, nor that sorority getting-drunk-and-partying feminine. But someone who compliments my masculine side, someone who doesn't try and make me act a certain way by nagging, someone who wouldn't try and p**** whip me. It's not like I'd want to overwhelm her with my masculinity and "put her in her place" either. But I do have to admit, I found the pensive and reserved way the women acted to be attractive. I think it was because it's more like a mystery. And I'd like to do the whole courtship thing simply because I like the formality and the romanticism of taking her out on a date, being a gentleman and eventually winning her over. Nowadays, I don't know what the f*** is going on. The romance is gone, the mystery is gone. So it seems women have more freedom in society, at the expense of precise sociological rules of engagement. I kind of wish there was a synthesis of the best of both worlds.

I like to meet new women but, I can't imagine giving up my life for them. maybe I haven't met that one special person who would change my mind. I am 36, although people think I'm 25. I've never even dated someone for 3 months straight, so if it doesn't happen I'm fine with that, and really I can only do so much to change myself to get along.

heheh why is it always 3 months? I could never manage to exceed that either...

I feel the same way. I think any girl would end up upset with me because of this so better being alone than being someone's jailer.

I'm in the "yeah, yeah, I'll get round to it.....actaully ,no not just yet, can't be bothered with the emotional upheaval" mindset. I have purposely wrecked *promising* relationships when I was younger, for fear they might lead somewhere and I'd suddenly find myself married due to sheer passive appeasment
I also could not live in the same house as another human being again (my son being the exception, although school holidays make me want to run away), can't be bothered educating someone about AS, and generally sliding into spinsterdom ...well, some version of it.

Really, I just want someone to go to the cinema with, pay me compliments, and hold my hand in the hospital (plus fill out forms) . Who then has to go back to their own house.

How about people with AS/autism dating each other? Maybe, since we understand these things in each other it'd work out a lot easier.