asexuality

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is asexuality linked to aspergers or depression caused by aspergers or is this just an individual foible.
i do not mind yet i feel as though i am missing out in an integral part of life
i do not yearn companionship constantly as i prefer to be isolated..not alltogether...as long as others exist i will feel the urge to interact rather eratically..........my sole wish is to be the only human survivor of an opocalyspe like global warming.....i would not be dependant..or there would be no need for dependancy
there is a common saying it is better to love and lost then to have never loved at all ...but what if there isnt an option?..........

Last edited by SamanthaBlake on 11 Mar 2009, 9:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

your asking some pretty deep questions for a 15 year old, put the thoughts out of your mind for the time being, lifes not gonna get any easier.

seriously.

i agree with the above poster... i'm 16 and I'd chose the "I don't know" option if one existed!

For a while I thought I was asexual (and I am very, very close to it, I just felt that what latent sexuality I have made the label a bit disingenuous) and I posted on an asexual web forum. There were a lot of people on there with ASDs. Whether this means there is some connection, I don't know.

I would also put "I don't know" or something to that effect.

I have been attracted to a male before and am female. I do not consider this enough to call myself straight. Until we started dating both me and my friends thought I was asexual. (We started dating literally as I realized I was interested in him - it was weird). So I was 17 and had never had a crush on anyone or any interest in anyone, yet I'm clearly not asexual.

I don't identify as any of the above.

I suppose I'm straight with asexual qualities. I enjoy looking at girls and I'm attracted to them like normal people are but the thought of any sexual activity scares the crap out of me and I want no part of it.

Asexuality is not at all uncommon among people with AS.

I never even heard of asexuality until I joined this board so you learn something new everyday.

As for me, no not asexual but it seems to be common among those on the autistic spectrum.

I have a theory about this.
I think it has to do with the fact that people with autism and aspergers have a hard time with relating to other people. This makes any kind of romantic or sexual relationship difficult.
Personally , i actually CAN relate to others to a certian extent, but it works best with other aspies.
....of course, i have no room to talk, everyone i know save a few trusted things probably THINKS i'm asexual by now

A lot of asexual people want romantic relationships, just not sex, so I'm not sure it's that.

I am straight romantically, but asexual sexually.

The thought of actually having sex disgusts me, but I've begun to think/realize recently that a big part of it for me is related to gender identification issues. I am female, but mentally, I feel quite androgynous. If I were to have sex, that would mean putting myself very strongly in the role of a woman for the duration of it, and it's that which would make me feel even more uncomfortable than the physical act.

If it was possible to have sex in a 'gender neutral' way, then I still wouldn't particularly want or enjoy it, but I might be able to go through with it if necessary.

^I think there is, it's just that in our mainstream culture we tend to identify what sexual role a gender must be assigned to in a sexual act....even though it's quite natural for some people.

Not all women want to just be "dominated" and not all men want to be "dominant" at least that's been my experience with one guy I knew who was like that. I think there is such a thing has neutral sex but both partners have to be willing to respect and communicate with eachother.

me either lol

No, I don't just mean a mental/emotional gender role (one partner being passive and one being dominant, etc). Sorry, I should have been more clear.

I meant a physical gender role. Standard heterosexual sex involves a male-specific body part contacting a female-specific body part in a particular way. No matter what the mindset of each person, there's nothing that can be changed about that - it's just the way it works. The male partner must be physically be in the position of a male, and the female partner must physically be in the position of a female. If I were to have standard sex, I would have to have it in the way a woman has it and thus identify as a woman. Does that make sense?

I am thrilled that for once someone has actually responded to something I have written online.
generally when i propose a cause of distress or a concern that is ''deep'' people tend to shy away.....i am glad other individuals with aspergers bothered to take up this discussion.

How dare you just give in!
you are a fatalist and should not tell me to put my thoughts aside...i probable have more intelligence in my wee pinky finger then in your entire cranium.I obviously [insert expletive] realize life is harsh and brutal....i have numerous medical conditions and i have aspergers which at the present moment is hindring me.i intensly dislike you!

dougn thank you for revealing that people who are asexual seek romantic relationships i was not aware of this....but how can you define a romantic relationship without desire .....i am not comprehending this concept and would like to know more.

tuttle from what i gather people can have incredibly low sexual drives. but i do not know whether or not someone can have a faint stirring of attraction as an asexual ..maybe someone can be so kind as to clarify this for me.

i think some of you are having predicaments dealing with the notion of sex but are willing to experince it......i am speaking about someone who is almost entiely deviod of this like me......sexual issues and asexuality must be different? it must relate to chemicals and not phobias not an obvious choice?

also the community on this site dosent seem very public?or as close as say a myspace or facebook group why is that?and most of you are talking amongst yourselves...does that usaully occur and it shirfts from me to a community of all of you.....

even in an aspergers community i feel a tad bit alienated
is it because of my verbal IQ ?

I think you bring up a good point here. As I'm confused in terms of what it is to be asexual and then those who just have issues with sex rather than what you describe......devoid of them or lacking there in mind. I've often been confused with notion of those who want to remain abstinent and those who really are asexual or actually have no desire in the opposite gender or sex. I know one member here who is the same exact way....not attracted at all to anyone.

As for being alienated I don't think you'll have a problem here and if you do, I understand as there are some things that I feel alienable about on this board. But I've seen many members here say the same thing so I don't think you're totally alone in that regard. I will however be honest in saying that you truly are mature for your age and that's a good thing. As long as you accept yourself as you and not be something you're not. Usually it's hard not to avoid the pressures of being a teen or at least it was for me. Sometimes I wish I listened to myself rather than a bunch of arrogant kids who didn't know what they were getting themselves into.

Anyway don't hate on people, it's not healthy and some people have trouble identifying or understanding where you're coming from. After all, this is the internet and some people are not always here to answere but here to question in an indirect way. There's nothing wrong with educating people about yourself especially those who do have trouble in comprehending.



No.

If you're serious, I'm one who is terrible at communicating especially on posts.