BF's Addiction/Trust Issue

Post Reply New Topic

Now, he calls, says the therapist calmed him down and helped him understand my perspective and he still wants to be friends but no more. He said he can't risk my leaking out his personal information again.

I think I can adjust to this. Part of me thinks it will change in time, but I'm going to prepare for life being single now.

Thanks for letting me update.

No worries, try to steer your own course, and let the professionals steer his.

I meant everything I said.

You deserve better!

Thanks Fnord!

Your words mean a lot.

You acted out of care and concern; rather sad to here he's decided to end things. I had that happen with the girl who's now my ex. It's always unfortunate.

Whitetiger,

I am sorry you're going through this. But you really did do the right thing - may not seem like it at the moment. But you may in fact have saved his life. It is not your fault he didn't appreciate it.

"Leaking out his personal information"? Sheesh, it's not like you posted his SSN on your blog.

It's gonna be rough at first - I've been there. Something that always helped me - finding good things about being single. Although it seems you are already doing this - but I'll add a few:

Drinking out of the carton, jug, bottle, etc.
Keeping all of YOUR CDs in the stereo
Not having to share the covers
Order whatever toppings YOU want on the pizza
...
dangit...I had a whole slew of them....oh, well. I'll add to the list when I think of some more.

You are also an intelligent, educated, attractive woman. Give it a little time and patience - I think you'll be writing a new love story before you know it. In the meantime, we're here for ya.

Thank you Hannibal,

I think the main difference here is that he told me he had bottomed out and wanted my help quitting, but he was afraid to tell his therapist. Now, he's come clean with his therapist and told her he wanted her help.

My new "friend" called me at 11:45. I was already asleep. Strange behavior for a "friend" don't you think?

I didn't wake up and answer it, but the "beeping" of my phone messages woke me up at 2:00 this am.

Today, he came over, looking gorgeous, apologizing specifically for each thing he did, hugging me. He wants to get back with me. I had already decided I wanted distance and boundaries. I'm going to stick with this, although I love him. I want to give him a chance to see how long he stays stable.

That sounds like a good idea, whitetiger. Thanks for keeping us updated

Stand your ground and it is a sound decision - best wishes for him and for the two of you.


M.

as long as there is no heroin and as long as he does not take his pills with alcohol because that always precedes heroin.

whitetiger,

For now, that is the best. If he wants you to help him, he has to be sincere. What you did was the best under the circumstances. That he took it as a betrayal is not a good sign. Given his problems, he needs to realize that your judgment is better than his.

Leave'em Ditch him and burn that bridge while your at it. It might sound harsh and you might shed a tear or two, But I gurantee you its the right choice, im not tying to be devils advocate here, this kinda Sh$% dosent work out.

your a chick, youll have options for the future, save yourself the heartbreak and move on.

He absolutely, positively needs to get himself clean, prove he can stay that way, and then - and ONLY then - should he bring up that subject. In the meantime, take some time for yourself.

he dumped you over the trust-issue!????

if that be the case, i couldnt dissagree enough... its a triviality compared to his addiction!

i mean come on moping about some trust-breach, well knowing that it was done in the best intentions and his HEALTH in mind, not only HIM, but you TWO in mind!

i really dont get that
if i knew i had a problem w prescription drugs (which, to anyone who thinks otherwise, are just as dangerous as illegal drugs... ) the last thing i'd do, would be to rid myself of my support :S

im boggled...
i wish you well, i hope you find somehow to turn your mood around and feel better again, whatever it may be.

L2S... you've repeated this erroneous statement over and over again - you may have seen this happen in someone, perhaps even in a few people. But because someone drinks with their medication (not condoning this, as it can create some significant health risks) does NOT mean they are going to do heroin. It's never been discussed in this conversation except when you've continued to bring it up. If it is that important a topic to you, make a thread. Sorry, rant over - just tired of reading the same post over and over again that was address some time ago.

wt - while I respect the opinions of others here, I don't think those preaching "ditch him" appreciate how you feel in this situation. I agree that being cautious and taking your time is a good thing, but if he is getting help, staying clean, and you love each other... why lose that? Take care of yourself, and may you find happiness no matter which road you take.


M.

dont wanna flood, but i second this statement all the way.

heroin is not the subject matter, but another drug. prescription drug addictions arent bad cus they will lead to something illegal, they are bad in themselves. yes maybe someone specific, that someone here knows, who went on to heroin after pills+booze, but i would BET theres more to the whole story than that allone.
drugs never "lead" to other drugs by themselves, they dont have that kind of mental capacity or will (in fact they have none, theyre stone cold dead chemicals)

i dont mean to be blunt but the issue is prescription drugs, an issue way serious enough by itself.
its like suddenly talking about "what if" he adds meth or crack to his pill habit, its just irrelevalt and out of place.