How to meet non-crazy women?

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sgrannel
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23 Mar 2009, 7:33 am

CerebralDreamer wrote:
I think a lot of it has to do with where you look. A major problem with online sites is anytime someone can't get a date after repeated tries, they turn to the web to continue their search. This means anytime a normal sane individual goes onto an online dating site, they'll be bombarded with unwanted attention, and then promptly return to hooking up with their peers and coworkers.

That's a major reason I took down my dating profile. Those who didn't have major physical health problems more than made up for it in the loony department. I'd rather try and pick up a date at my church, a local event, or in one of my classes. Really, I realized it was best to just quit worrying about it, enjoy life, get out there, and someone will undoubtedly come along. In the meantime, I can enjoy the ego boost anytime I get a friendly wink.


I agree! There's lots of interesting things you can do on your own. Don't wait for someone else to make things happen. Last weekend I met Bill Gates! Now I am feeling quite energized about what the future holds, even though I have never screwed anybody (literally or figuratively). I am also learning things by paying attention to how my reactions correlate with situations. Crowds=Bad! I get overwhelmed and withdraw, and I gradually lose control of vocal nuance, tone, volume, etc., but one-on-one, I'm almost "normal". Older people=Good! They're easier to talk to, nicer, less judgmental, more tolerant of quirks. Some people's intolerance of quirks actually make mine worse! The intolerance-worsening feedback loop runs away until the situation becomes unsalvageable, but older people enjoy talking to me.


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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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23 Mar 2009, 8:54 am

I like crazy woman :) they`re often so funfilled
unless they`re psychotic crazy that is



billsmithglendale
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23 Mar 2009, 1:40 pm

sgrannel wrote:

I agree! There's lots of interesting things you can do on your own. Don't wait for someone else to make things happen. Last weekend I met Bill Gates! Now I am feeling quite energized about what the future holds, even though I have never screwed anybody (literally or figuratively). I am also learning things by paying attention to how my reactions correlate with situations. Crowds=Bad! I get overwhelmed and withdraw, and I gradually lose control of vocal nuance, tone, volume, etc., but one-on-one, I'm almost "normal". Older people=Good! They're easier to talk to, nicer, less judgmental, more tolerant of quirks. Some people's intolerance of quirks actually make mine worse! The intolerance-worsening feedback loop runs away until the situation becomes unsalvageable, but older people enjoy talking to me.


Crowds used to really bother me -- I did some treatment for this where I would spend long hours (doing a Soduku or other such puzzle) at the mall, a crowded food court, etc. Eventually the fear subsided, and it got to a point where I could be less nervous and just take in the sights.

I'm with you on the one-on-one thing though -- I much prefer that to socializing in a group, which is a much trickier and less-fulfilling (for me) ballet than being able to really connect with a person and dig into their soul. I also find it is a much better climate for me to be able to woo someone over. Of course, for them to be willing to spend that much one-on-one, they have to at least like you already anyways, so it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy.



Ladarzak
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23 Mar 2009, 1:58 pm

MmeLePen wrote:
All people act a little crazy when they are in a relationship, looking for a relationship or leaving a relationship.

Anyway - its always been my opinion that people who THINK too much are the ones who have the hardest time finding love.

Love is irrational and emotional and almost always unplanned. The more you try to intellectualize and analyze it, the more elusive it's going to be.

. . . Usually, it comes at a very inconvenient time and place.


I think you nailed it. When people are actively looking and "dating" all this meta stuff kicks in. All these barriers, baggage, concepts. Better to put it out of one's mind and try to relate to people, treat people right, pay attention to your own responses and what's around you. Don't "date." Just go out and do things you want to do. Then eventually when you least expect it you stumble into something wonderful that you could not have imagined. Not convenient, but wonderful and worth it, whether on the net or not.



Barton
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27 Mar 2009, 10:49 am

I'm new here, mainly came here because I am interested in an Aspie woman (and am on the border myself, in terms of social anxiety and related issues) and looking for some insight. I am trying to understand some very mixed signals -- she seems to want to talk with me one day, but then refuses to speak when I try to initiate a conversation. On one occasion, she had flirted with me (very unusual, hard to describe) but then later I approached her and she said in a very loud voice to leave her alone. There is something there -- she has even sort of followed me -- not stalking, but just a kind of sweet low-key thing where she just happens to be where I am on the campus where I work and looks like she's waiting for us to connect. I was kind of wondering what the hell was going on, until I noticed that she had some Aspie mannerisms -- certain repeated precise gestures while working at a computer workstation, avoidance of eye contact or just very fleeting eye contact, amazing attention span when she is on the computer, and she never speaks to anyone, seems to be by herself all the time (I've seen her around the downtown area, and on campus). I really feel she wants to connect, and something about her has captured my heart but....I can't take much more of this dance we seem to be doing.

Help!



Ruchard
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07 Apr 2009, 5:40 pm

It's not gonna happen all girls are crazy they can't help it.



Ichinin
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08 Apr 2009, 9:32 am

Everyone is crazy, you just have to find someone with a type of crazy that you can accept and work with :D


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oli234
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08 Apr 2009, 10:10 am

Am I alone in liking crazy women?



sunshower
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08 Apr 2009, 5:45 pm

LordKristov wrote:
There are only so many PhD's with the bodies of Greek gods running around the world, and if we don't meet their standard of Prince Charming, we are the ones expected to change.


Hmm do you reckon that rule would work for women too? I am definitely going to go for my PhD, might increase my attractiveness to the opposite sex. :lol:


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sunshower
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08 Apr 2009, 5:47 pm

I guess being crazy would decrease my chances though. :(


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connor
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08 Apr 2009, 6:42 pm

grab a hypodermic needle, or a kilo of coke and then everything is solved.....


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LordKristov
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08 Apr 2009, 10:21 pm

sunshower wrote:
LordKristov wrote:
There are only so many PhD's with the bodies of Greek gods running around the world, and if we don't meet their standard of Prince Charming, we are the ones expected to change.


Hmm do you reckon that rule would work for women too? I am definitely going to go for my PhD, might increase my attractiveness to the opposite sex. :lol:


Good for you :)

The above rule could apply to women, but for the most part it applies to men. From the perspective of someone who is starting over after a long-term relationship, it is becoming sadly apparent to me that what a man is holds far more importance to many (most?) women than who he is.

And at least for men, it is with very few exceptions an "all-or-nothing" proposition. We meet each and every criteria on a woman's checklist, or a snowball has a better chance of surviving in Hell than we have of getting a date with her. One strike, we're out - again, with very few exceptions.


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ikorack
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08 Apr 2009, 10:28 pm

oli234 wrote:
Am I alone in liking crazy women?


No and i bet there are a lot more



TheMaverick
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09 Apr 2009, 2:15 am

sunshower wrote:
LordKristov wrote:
There are only so many PhD's with the bodies of Greek gods running around the world, and if we don't meet their standard of Prince Charming, we are the ones expected to change.


Hmm do you reckon that rule would work for women too? I am definitely going to go for my PhD, might increase my attractiveness to the opposite sex. :lol:


that would :P



JennaJ
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13 Apr 2009, 4:29 pm

Scorpio82 wrote:
It's hard to find anyone who isn't crazy. If you have Facebook, just read all your friends' status updates. If they aren't bored, tired, or complaining, they're begging for attention with obscure quotes, random sayings, and immature ramblings. There's a reason why they say you have to love people for their faults. You just need to find people with faults you like.


HA HA this is the truest post i've ever seen written about facebook status updates. I feel the same way. I hate those things! I am leary of people who have to write about everything they are doing at every moment on their facebook pages!

I also agree with the last statement...not so much 'faults' you like, I prefer to call them idiosyncracies. LOL Since everybody has quirks we just have to find people with quirks that are tolerable.

The problem a lot of people make is not knowing the difference between their 'requirements' and 'preferences' and they get caught up thinking preferences are required. Be realistic. Decide what it is you need in a b/f or g/f that is required. And keep that list small. Keep it to the top few things. then you can list your preferences, and hope to find someone who not only has the requirements but the preferences as well, and it's okay if they don't have ALL the preferences.

OP, defining women as 'crazy' is a pretty ambiguous statement. Everyone, male or female, has their quirks. I'd say the few examples you cited don't mean that MOST women are crazy, just the couple you have met. And you set yourself up for the first one. I am not too sure i would (and myself being a logical and "non" crazy woman) would even feel comfortable with a man who made ME call HIM first because he was uncomfortable. I'd prefer a man who could crawl out of his comfort zone if he liked me and give me a ring. You might find yourself having to take the path of least resistance a bit less if you want to find a g/f that is more like the girl you want.

Spot the signs of incongruity early on so that you don't waste your time with women who likely have no clue who they are much less what they want out of life. If you are going to use a dating site chat just long enough to decide if you share interests and if you find some attraction to her based on her pic and she you. Then CALL HER man, don't tell her you are not comfortable calling her. Sane women will likely be turned off by that. Even if a man is shy he can make that extra effort to call her first. For women it is more likely that we are the victim of crazy men on the internet in the form of getting harmed so you should always ease her mind by initiating that first call. It is common courtesy to her.

Also remember that often we attract people into our lives that are much like ourselves. That doesn't mean YOU are crazy, but it means you have likely been putting yourself into situations where you are attracting these type of people because you are ignoring early warning signs and trying to move forward with them anyway despite seeing what might be a redflag to other men.



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20 Apr 2009, 6:37 am

All women are crazy it's just the degree that vary. Try not to get one too crazy or she will destroy you.