Confused...

Post Reply New Topic

Early last month my ex left me and took her son and moved out while I was at work. Later she emailed me saying she left me for being "emotionally abusive". A week later it was suggest that I might have AS and reading up on it I realized what I was doing that was being abusive was traits of someone who has AS. I couldn't understand her emotions, would get overwhelmed easily and meltdown and either end up angry or completely shutting down. Since she left and got all of her stuff out she has had a strict "no contact" rule in place. Now for what is confusing me. I have been talking a bit about being tested for AS and every other possible disorder on my myspace as well as everything else going on in my life. I have a tracker on my page and her and her closest friend check and read my myspace multiple times a day as well as checking other pages of mine. It goes without saying that I love this woman and her son, whom I raised 15 out of the 16 months he has been alive, I care for like my own.

She was really adamant about not wanting me in her life anymore so why would she continue to check my blogs and things?

Habit? Curious? Wondering if she should get a restraining order? Trying to find out if you are fantasizing stalking her? Wondering if you are bad mouthing her? Worried you might do something rash in your grief and sorrow? Finding out if you are plotting revenge?

I agree, if she is done with you, the least she can do is move on and leave you in peace.

Merle

If you REALLY want her back then you should start to sound regretful on your blog and talk about the ways you plan to change.

Before you do anything rash, make sure that you know what you want.

you shouldn't of been verbally abusive to her in the first place. it seems you're trying to pull the pity party, blaming aspergers for your constant verbal abuse towards her and her kid. leave the women alone, you're not going to get her back. all you're goinjg to do is cause an immense amount of stress on the lady. she doesn't want you back. we both know you're not going to change, you'll still be the same verbally abusive person

Uh, whatnow?

Troll.

Women have a much harder time getting over ex's than men, but are a lot better at hiding it.

What I post about is this journey of "exploring myself" and figuring out why I acted like I acted and what I am doing to be more aware of myself. Of course it probably doesn't help admitting on it that I really didn't understand what was going on in the relationship....



Maybe so. She has a good support system behind her with a friend we had mutually who sided with her when she left and is not talking to me anymore. Unfortunately it was my only real friend too.

I can't say for sure, but I doubt your ex wanted to let go. It sounds similar to how I'd react, and have reacted, and do react, in situations where I know I should just leave it alone and move on, but deeply don't want to and still feel attached. If this has been ongoing for months or weeks, it seems more likely that's the case.

As for your issues, have you considered your childhood? There's a possibility you do have AS, or traits of it, but it's also important to take into account the way you grew up emotionally. We learn how to react and express emotions as children from the adults around us. Children are extremely susceptible to the emotional problems of their parents, and how their parents deal with emotions is a very important factor in how they later deal with emotional situations.

Let me give you an example of how powerful a problem that can be. When I read one of your blogs, it shocked me just how much you sounded like my boyfriend. My boyfriend, too, wants to get tested for AS, and may have traits (his mom does). But even still, it looks far more likely that his emotional problems are based on his childhood experiences of how those around him treated emotions. He's emotionally repressed, very severely. He has meltdowns and outbursts, when all his emotions finally pour forward. He has schizoid traits, putting up a shell much of the time, which has made him seriously depersonalized, strange, clumsy, and generally pretty nuts.

But then there are times when he seems more capable, as he learns, and he seems to pick up on emotions readily. The issue is that he is then completely stopped when it comes to executing the proper expression. He suffers from a lot of self delusion, loss of self and fear. This is definitely not just because of any AS traits he may have--it's because of what his parents raised him with. They're completely wrecks as well, emotionally suppressed, and mentally ill.

I'm not suggesting this is what's wrong with you, but it's something to consider, and it's often a problem that gets overlooked. It's also important to consider that those who suffer from AS and similar disorders from birth are likely to be more susceptible to emotional problems in their environment, or/and react differently than NTs to both normal and excessive emotional problems within the family.

How does he/how is he dealing with this? He just doing standard therapy?