Possible romantic interest has Aspie traits?

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Faerierealm
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25 Apr 2009, 10:58 am

Good afternoon all,

This is my first post, I am a 25 year old NT female (I do have some Aspie traits, I believe) ..I met a guy who happens to cashier where I shop, and we conversed well every time i went through his line....he never got the subtle hints, smiles, winks that I threw out there...he never made any "moves", so I did one time, and gave him a little note with my name and number.We texted on and off for a week...I think he does demonstrate a lot of Aspie traits, alot of his answers seem "pre-formed" and very rote. His fanatical obsession with video games, computers, and the like....I went back to his line a week later and he did not recognize me and forgot my name, even though I was texting him that day! His replies are very to the point and logical...which is fine with me...but he has not replied back to me in almost 2 weeks,although his phone was shut off due to not paying the bill for about a week...

Also, I asked if he is married or in a relationship and he replied "haha thats very funny"....

Do any of these characteristics I've described sound like Asperger's? I truly believe he is, and the more I observed his mannerisms, they really do seem indicative of Asperger's....I am a social worker, but am not yet licensed so cannot diagnose yet....I'm sure no one here has the qualifications either, but what are your comments and opinions..would be much appreciated...thanks....



Ancalagon
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25 Apr 2009, 7:06 pm

Welcome.

I am by no means an expert, but it sounds like it to me. If you want to go out with him, he will probably continue to miss your subtle hints, so you may need to be more direct. Subtle hints tend to bounce off of me like bullets bounce off of Superman.


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Faerierealm
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25 Apr 2009, 11:29 pm

Thank you for your response.

So, is it characteristic for some individuals with Asperger's to completely ignore text messages :"Hi How are ya"? I really wanted to ask him to go see a movie with me (the new x-men wolverine set to come out) if he's into all that....but most NT women equate silence with "he's just not that into you"......and his silence is his "final answer"....arggghhh dating sucks, even for an NT like me (with some aspie traits hehe)

BTW- he did ask me to lunch, but never followed through "Car problems"



buryuntime
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25 Apr 2009, 11:40 pm

Faerierealm wrote:
Thank you for your response.

So, is it characteristic for some individuals with Asperger's to completely ignore text messages :"Hi How are ya"? I really wanted to ask him to go see a movie with me (the new x-men wolverine set to come out) if he's into all that....but most NT women equate silence with "he's just not that into you"......and his silence is his "final answer"....arggghhh dating sucks, even for an NT like me (with some aspie traits hehe)

BTW- he did ask me to lunch, but never followed through "Car problems"

I sometimes ignore "hi how are you" questions. They're pointless to me. Just keep trying and avoid "small talk".



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26 Apr 2009, 6:38 am

Does sound like he may have Asperger's to me. If he's being silent, it may be that he doesn't know what to say.


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Learning2Survive
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26 Apr 2009, 9:41 am

just invite him to lunch
he will assume you want to have sex with him, so I don't know how to handle that situation, but yea, just get his number and ask him to lunch


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Faerierealm
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27 Apr 2009, 8:14 pm

Learning2Survive wrote:
just invite him to lunch
he will assume you want to have sex with him, so I don't know how to handle that situation, but yea, just get his number and ask him to lunch


why would he think i want to have sex with him off the rip...i mean eventually,yes, but right away?



darlinggail
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27 Apr 2009, 8:57 pm

Hello all, only my 2nd post on here, but I think someone I have been talking to on Internet may have Asperger's. We have been talking for over 2 yrs. and he always tells me he is strange(his words, not mine) and finally I realized after reading on the subject that he may indeed be an Aspie. He sounds a bit like the guy that Faerierealm is describing. I have feelings for this guy and I think he cares about me as well, but he gave me his phone number and I do call him, but he won't call me or text. But he will answer if i call or text him. He also says he doesn't feel physical pain as much as other people. He never dates because he can't ask anyone out. He is inexperienced sexually for someone his age (30yrs.) His typewritten communication is much better than his phone communication. When I call him I do most of the talking as he is very shy. He is also into computer games and Nintendo and is a computer programmer. Does this sound like someone who may be Aspie? And should I bring it up? I don't think he has been diagnosed and I don't want to give him a complex as he may not know what it is. :?: Would be interested in what you all think. Thanks so much.



Faerierealm
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27 Apr 2009, 9:13 pm

He sounds like the guy I am interested in....lets make sure he is not the same guy...lol



darlinggail
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27 Apr 2009, 9:29 pm

I think it is a bit funny you should mention that about "he's just not that into you" Faerierealm. I read that book recently because I thought maybe that was the story with him. But just threw the book down as he just doesn't fit the description. He is just so different, I don't think the same rules apply to him. It says that guys do not want to be called by women. But if I didn't call this guy, I wouldn't hear from him. :roll: He gave me his number and he also told me that we could date if I wanted to. lol You can see how that could be annoying to an NT person. So I think you should just give him time. He will come around. I have been talking to this man for over 2 yrs. and just beginning to feel I understand him. I could have met him by now, he doesn't live that far from me, but I have some issues as well. Anyway, are you still communicating with him? If so, it would be interesting to hear how it goes with him. Good Luck and hang in there.



Faerierealm
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27 Apr 2009, 9:47 pm

"He's Just Not That Into You" is the worst book ever written...since I do not play the "dating game" it will never apply to me. The 1st rule is basically, never ask him out,because if he can't do it himself,what kind of guy is he worth dating? And the guy I am interested in is WAAY shy, so I took the initiative. I was just thinking about that book the other day...thinking...wow how many women may have passed up a great guy, who may just happen to be Aspie, or autistic...because a stupid book told them to...

I'm really getting my hopes down... I texted him yesterday that I looked for him at his job and he never replied...it is just rudeness, how hard is it to say "i wasn't working" or "i'll be on on such and such day and time" dx with asperger's or not.... is it really that difficult???



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28 Apr 2009, 3:55 am

Faerierealm wrote:
Thank you for your response.

So, is it characteristic for some individuals with Asperger's to completely ignore text messages :"Hi How are ya"? I really wanted to ask him to go see a movie with me (the new x-men wolverine set to come out) if he's into all that....but most NT women equate silence with "he's just not that into you"......and his silence is his "final answer"....arggghhh dating sucks, even for an NT like me (with some aspie traits hehe)

BTW- he did ask me to lunch, but never followed through "Car problems"


Wolverine is my favorite x-men character... I would be jumping all over that opportunty to go see that movie...



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28 Apr 2009, 1:21 pm

Ancalagon wrote:
Subtle hints tend to bounce off of me like bullets bounce off of Superman.

hahaha that was awesome. I'm gonna quote you on my facebook.


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