Aspie and Two-Spirited (i.e. Gay) The rules all change!

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I am a 26 year old living in Canada who just cannot figure it out. Just when you think you have a handle on things, something else comes along to bugger it all up. I have only recently come to terms with the fact that I like boys. I tried to pretend I was simply asexual for ten years, and it only left me lonely and frustrated. And now that I'm actually venturing out into the world and attempting to find a relationship, I find that this community is even more topsy-turvy than the Neurotypical world that I try so damn hard to get a handle on each day. I simply don't understand a world where a bitter enemy is someone you only kiss on the cheek instead of on the mouth, and where everybody hugs eachother but none of them mean anything ><. And of course, someone with their shirt off can bump and grind next to you on the dance floor, but that doesn't even mean they want to talk to you >< >< ><. I must not be the only one who's absolutlely confused on this point, and I don't know how I'm ever going to find anybody if I can't figure out how to talk to another boy. I have no idea how to approach a boy outside of a gay bar because I'm terrified that he'll be straight and if he's offended...I'll enter that lovely "god I wish I was dead" emotional state for the rest of the day. Any thoughts, anyone?

I know exactly what you are going through. The samething has happened to me recently and now I'm trying to look for someone to have a relationship with. It's hard though because I have never been with anybody before, and finding a guy like me at my school will be difficult, especially since I haven't told any of my friends yet that I'm bi and I'm not sure how they will react.

everyone is bisexual I guess.

It's just at a less or greater degree.

(now we go to an unrelated part)
It's kind of philosophical just like "AS" and "NT", I for example have some "ASD" behaviour. BUT

I also have some NT behaviour, so:

I feel I belong to both the "AS" and the "NT". but of course there are the bad "NTs" that I for a bad habit put my attention on all the time, (bullies who catch attention).
The "good NTs" don't catch attention easily since they just don't "bother".
That's it.
-------------------------
It's all about the brain, when you see a guy, you are reminded of it's feminine characteristics, just as a girl reminds you of its feminine characteristics.

Everyone are human beeings and who give attraction it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, it tells your brain "I like this person".

I mean, people have mistaken women for men, like in "mulan".
Or like in an episode of Blackadder when he thought he fell in love with a boy. (but it was a girl after all)
He also told a priest he was homo. (in the Blackadder episode).

Have you tried some online gay forums? I know in UK there's gaydar.com, and in China there's gaychina.com, don't know what's available in Canada... maybe you can explain on some gay fora that you've just come out, you're new to the scene and you need some extra explanations about 'the rules' of the gay dating/gay cruising scene because you're aspie (explaining very briefly what that means in terms of not easily reading body language, being very literal and not understand subtle hints and prone to miscommunication leading to misunderstanding).

Homosexuality is a disgusting, un-profiting venture catering to hedonists and sexual deviants. I suggest you seek to rectify your dysfunction.

Wtf? You're joking right?

Erm... anyways. Sirmadness, do you have any interests that are common to gay people? Like dancing, clubbing, theatre? Might be good way to get in on the scene. Maybe a friend can hook you up with someone?

As for worrying about straight guys, I don't think you should worry so much. Most guys aren't going to get offended if a gay guy cracks onto them. They'll more likely just say they're sorry but they don't go for blokes. And if they do decide to go all phobic on you, then they're not really worth your time.

I never joke.

Yea, I think thats a fair assessment. I would disagree with trying to rectify it however. Sexuality is very fundamental. People who say they use to be a homo but are now cured are, for the most part, in denial.

As it seems so far, lunatix isn't abusing anyone just telling his view, while watching this thread. So lunatix isn't breaking the forum rules, I guess. Do you(reader) also think so?

I think Sirmadness started this thread because he is looking for answers and maybe some support. Lunatix apparently has strong views on the subject, but he didn't direct his remarks to anyone in particular. I think Lunatix is courageous for speaking out in such a politically incorrect way however inopportune his timing was. I'm glad everyone didn't jump all over him screaming HOMOPHOBE!

I hope if somebody has some thoughts or advice for Sirmadness they will post it and this thread will not get derailed in a general debate about homosexuality.

First, congratulations on coming to terms with your sexuality. I'm a strong supporter of gay rights and love is love between two consenting adults.

Second, many of us straights can't figure out sh*t when it comes to the mating game either. Have you tried personals? Maybe there's a PFLAG or other GLBT organizations in your area? I'd get very familiar with those and the individuals therein.

Courage? No, I'm just apalled that such a disgusting practice is excused on these forums.

Yes it is courage. Courage to open one's one mind to something that is embedded in them. Courage to announce something that they feel to the world. If this is something that disgusts you then you have no part in this thread. You are simple minded. If you want to discuss this further you can PM me. I'll be glad to talk more.

Opinions are opinions, and everyone is allowed to have one. Aspergians aren't straights-only.

well, i find your bigotry pretty disgusting. so - if that's allowed - i see no reason why discussion about homosexuality shouldn't be allowed, too.

Last edited by hecate on 28 Apr 2006, 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.