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25 Apr 2006, 3:34 am
What are the best things to do to get over a hard breakup? Like getting over a 4 year relationship.. If anyone has any ideas let me know 
At the moment I'm trying to hate him and show him I don't need him and generally get on without him (he doesn't want to see me ever again, so it seems), but there's that constant relapse to memories which just makes me sad again. If anyone knows anything at all which may help a bit, I'm dieing to know..
25 Apr 2006, 5:35 am
25 Apr 2006, 5:48 am
25 Apr 2006, 8:05 am
25 Apr 2006, 8:29 am
26 Apr 2006, 2:09 am
jman wrote:
I know breakups can be hard, i went trhough a couple years ago. The best thing you can do is keep yourself occupied with some new hobbies. When you do have time to yourself however, allow yourself to greive the more you let out now, the sooner you'll get over him.Also whatever you do don't contact him in anyway shape or form that'll just prolong the agony.
Keep in mind you're still very young (18 right?) most teenage relationships do come to an end, I am sure you will meet someone special someday.
Yeah I'm working on the occupying myself and I'm also not being very happy. But it feels like I'm getting absolutely nowhere at all. I have been contacting him and I don't know why or how to stop. It's hopeless. But I see him at uni most days so I can't completely block him out of my life and I don't want to either. Very confused Keep in mind you're still very young (18 right?) most teenage relationships do come to an end, I am sure you will meet someone special someday.
And yeah, I am young but he's the only guy I've ever really liked and the only person I've ever confided so much in so it's all new grounds and I don't know what to do. It doesn't help that all my friends are against me as well as his parents and pretty much anyone who knows him - and I don't know what I did wrong. Thanks for the advice though, I'll keep trying.
hale_bopp wrote:
Just a word of advice.. hating them is the one way you can show them that you aren't over them.
Goodluck with it though, I hope things sort out and you will get over him, and be happy.
Okay, what do I do then? Just get on and be fine? Be friends? Thanks Goodluck with it though, I hope things sort out and you will get over him, and be happy.
TigerFire wrote:
I really hate break ups they really rip my heart in two.
They sure do.. Laz wrote:
Don't become a "bunny boiler"
Um.. what is that? 
Hmmmm, well hopefully it'll get easier.
26 Apr 2006, 5:16 am
Astarael wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Just a word of advice.. hating them is the one way you can show them that you aren't over them.
Goodluck with it though, I hope things sort out and you will get over him, and be happy.
Okay, what do I do then? Just get on and be fine? Be friends? Thanks Goodluck with it though, I hope things sort out and you will get over him, and be happy.
Well you don't have to be friends, but going out of your way to be nasty won't only show him you still like him, but it will make him hate you back. I don't know, even try indifference?
26 Apr 2006, 6:41 am
Oh no, I was only going to hate him like in my mind.. but I can't convince myself to just yet it's only halfway there. Being nasty to someone gets you absolutely nowhere. Indifference sounds good. Tahnks
26 Apr 2006, 4:05 pm
i can't read this thread as i'm arachnophobic and your spider avatar is freaking me out!!
27 Apr 2006, 9:16 pm
Hmm....I wish I could say I know how that feels, but I've never been in a breakup situation, or in a love relationship even.
I also wish I could give some advice, but I don't really have much except to try really hard not to let your negative emotions get the better of you. If you have family members that could help you, you can look for them for advice or comfort maybe.
Also, I actually know some good friends online that have had trouble with things related to breakups. Maybe if you wanted, I could PM you their IM screenames if you wanted to talk to them about it. I'm sure they would be more than welcome to help you, but of course, I would have to remind them of your prescence first. ^_^;
Anyways, I hope my advice helped a little.
27 Apr 2006, 11:45 pm
Just kidding. Talk it out. Go lift weights or bike to get your aggression out. Do, do, do. Just don't go rebound.
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28 Apr 2006, 10:55 am
Quote:
What are the best things to do to get over a hard breakup? Like getting over a 4 year relationship.. If anyone has any ideas let me know At the moment I'm trying to hate him and show him I don't need him and generally get on without him (he doesn't want to see me ever again, so it seems), but there's that constant relapse to memories which just makes me sad again. If anyone knows anything at all which may help a bit, I'm dieing to know..
Break-ups are hard arent they, and 4 years is a long time
. Ist it OK if I ask, just to shed some light so we can offer more advice, what were the circumstances of your breakup?. Were things not right for sometime before the breakup? or did he just suddenly say that he wanted it to end?.
You can show him that you dont need him, but you dont need to use hate to do that. The best thing to do is to act really happy if you can, so next time you happen to bump into him he will think you are really happy cos you are not with him anymore. You dont have to act excited happy, but normal happy, just smile when you talk to him. I did it with my ex (but on the contrary I was actually really happy when we broke up so I didnt need to act happy).
If you say he doesnt want contact with you that may be his way of coping with the breakup. It might be harder for him to get over the breakup if he keeps seeing you and being in contact with you. Avoidance is a man's way of dealing with everything
29 Apr 2006, 1:53 am
SparKitsune wrote:
I also wish I could give some advice, but I don't really have much except to try really hard not to let your negative emotions get the better of you. If you have family members that could help you, you can look for them for advice or comfort maybe.
Also, I actually know some good friends online that have had trouble with things related to breakups. Maybe if you wanted, I could PM you their IM screenames if you wanted to talk to them about it. I'm sure they would be more than welcome to help you, but of course, I would have to remind them of your prescence first. ^_^;
Thanks for the advice and offer, I shall thank about it Also, I actually know some good friends online that have had trouble with things related to breakups. Maybe if you wanted, I could PM you their IM screenames if you wanted to talk to them about it. I'm sure they would be more than welcome to help you, but of course, I would have to remind them of your prescence first. ^_^;
I do try to stop feeling negative about the whole situation but it gets very hard when there are so many variables in it. I'm spending alot of time with other friends/talking to them so I stay distracted and tell them how I feel but it just isn't the same! CelanKenay wrote:
Just kidding. Talk it out. Go lift weights or bike to get your aggression out. Do, do, do. Just don't go rebound.
The problem is I don't feel that angry.. so I don't really have any agression to get rid of Might start walking... alot. blue_bean wrote:
Break-ups are hard arent they, and 4 years is a long time . Ist it OK if I ask, just to shed some light so we can offer more advice, what were the circumstances of your breakup?. Were things not right for sometime before the breakup? or did he just suddenly say that he wanted it to end?.
You can show him that you dont need him, but you dont need to use hate to do that. The best thing to do is to act really happy if you can, so next time you happen to bump into him he will think you are really happy cos you are not with him anymore. You dont have to act excited happy, but normal happy, just smile when you talk to him. I did it with my ex (but on the contrary I was actually really happy when we broke up so I didnt need to act happy).
If you say he doesnt want contact with you that may be his way of coping with the breakup. It might be harder for him to get over the breakup if he keeps seeing you and being in contact with you. Avoidance is a man's way of dealing with everything
That they are. Well.. things had been a little shaky for quite a while beforehand, but we had pulled it together and were in the process of fixing things when he decided that was it and that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, so it was very sudden and unexpected even though things weren't the best yet. He didn't give any opportunity or time to see how things developed at all.
. Ist it OK if I ask, just to shed some light so we can offer more advice, what were the circumstances of your breakup?. Were things not right for sometime before the breakup? or did he just suddenly say that he wanted it to end?.You can show him that you dont need him, but you dont need to use hate to do that. The best thing to do is to act really happy if you can, so next time you happen to bump into him he will think you are really happy cos you are not with him anymore. You dont have to act excited happy, but normal happy, just smile when you talk to him. I did it with my ex (but on the contrary I was actually really happy when we broke up so I didnt need to act happy).
If you say he doesnt want contact with you that may be his way of coping with the breakup. It might be harder for him to get over the breakup if he keeps seeing you and being in contact with you. Avoidance is a man's way of dealing with everything
I am trying to be alot happier so that I can get a few more friends and such as well, but it doesn't always happen. Sometimes just hating him might be easier - say if he got another girlfriend I wouldn't care because I hated him, it wouldn't really make me even sadder. I don't know if that would actually work though.. When we first decided to give it a break I was extremely happy that I wasn't with him. And then it all changed and we tried again and then suddenly he didn't want anything of me anymore and I wasn't happy, more confused and upset. I kinda wish I was still happy about it, it would be so much better.
The thing with him trying to avoid me is that he can't pull it off - he still will see me around, that's inevitable. And he seems fine whenever he does see me. So it makes me wonder why he bothers to try and remain out of contct with me when there is absolutely no problem when we do see each other. Avoidance won't solve the problem.. it will only put it away in the back of his mind and it will stay there forever until he actually deals with it. Ack.
