Is it true that you don't ask a girl to be your girlfriend?

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Mw99
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Age: 125
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,088

27 May 2009, 7:47 pm

Is it true that when a 'normal' guy likes a girl he doesn't explicitly ask her to be his girlfriend but instead the romantic relationship begins with a tacit agreement? If that's correct then what if one party believes the other one is his/her girlfriend/boyfriend but the other one disagrees?



Homer_Bob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,562
Location: New England

27 May 2009, 7:59 pm

I don't think so. From where I come from, the guys usually directly ask a girl out but usually to something casual like a movie, restaurant, ect. and if they like each other, they take it from there. However, what's not done is girls almost never do that to guys. The guys have to be the ones to make the moves, something a lot of us can't do unfortunately.



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

27 May 2009, 8:07 pm

Mw99 wrote:
Is it true that when a 'normal' guy likes a girl he doesn't explicitly ask her to be his girlfriend but instead the romantic relationship begins with a tacit agreement? If that's correct then what if one party believes the other one is his/her girlfriend/boyfriend but the other one disagrees?


I still haven't figured out what the title 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' entails. When you know, let me know, ok? When you feel you have crossed that threshold into bf/gf then I suppose you both decide to have an exclusive relationship (for fluid bonding reasons, at least) then it better be something you both decide.


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


jemir1234
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 254

27 May 2009, 8:16 pm

How sofreakin weird. I was thinking about posting this same exact topic yesterday, but I didnt think anyone cared or thought about this. IDK, I dont see it when people become bfs and gfs, i just see them as bf and gf. I got asked out once and I asked my other gfs out. I didnt like the realtionships though, because i just asked them out because they wanted me to, i didnt really like them, accept one.
My singing teacher told me that people can accidently go back out with someone and not even know.

How strange



amazon_television
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,608
Location: I woke up on 7th street

27 May 2009, 8:30 pm

Mw99 wrote:
Is it true that when a 'normal' guy likes a girl he doesn't explicitly ask her to be his girlfriend but instead the romantic relationship begins with a tacit agreement? If that's correct then what if one party believes the other one is his/her girlfriend/boyfriend but the other one disagrees?


Sometimes that's true, sometimes it's not. "Normal" in this context is impossible to define. In my experience I've never explicitly asked; it's been one of those unspoken things that at a certain point you both just "know". I hardly consider myself "normal" but my relationships generally I would say have been (and, not that it necessarily matters, but they have all been with NTs).



tomamil
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,015
Location: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

27 May 2009, 9:39 pm

i never had one, but it looks to me like you just ask her out, you go out to movies together or whatever, then you call her again (3 days rule) and ask her on second date and on third date you can consider being gf/bf without saying it out loud. since you actually date her on regular basis and that's the definition.


_________________
Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas.


TheMidnightJudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,669
Location: New England

27 May 2009, 9:47 pm

Seems kinda true. Sometimes it's more obvious than other times.


_________________
Sleepless gliding


obnoxiously-me
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 120
Location: Norway

28 May 2009, 5:29 am

I think it's culture based.

In the US it is more common to date, have kisses and such without her being your explicit girlfriend.

In Norway, after you've hung out a bit, if you've kissed, it's ok to ask.

I believe girls like to be asked. But it's best to have made out a bit before.

This all depends on age as well.

If you notice the girl start dropping hints, that she's needy and clingy in a way - it's a good time to ask.



Gremmie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 914
Location: England

28 May 2009, 9:19 am

It's official when it's on facebook :P



Cyanide
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

28 May 2009, 12:25 pm

I hear you're not supposed to directly ask "do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" You're just supposed to ask them out somewhere, I guess.



Cafe_au_lait
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 18

28 May 2009, 10:21 pm

I haven't had a guy ask me, "Will you be my girlfriend?" since I was a teenager.

The last two relationships I was in, the guy introduced me to others as his girlfriend. That was the first I knew of it. In both cases, this was after we had been on several dates and it seemed more than just casual.



aleclair
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 457
Location: Brooklyn NY

29 May 2009, 12:12 am

Gremmie wrote:
It's official when it's on facebook :P


Unfortunately, I think this is more accurate than it should be.

Fascinating question though. In my one relationship, things were very clear-cut and explicit on this subject. Perhaps, in retrospect, a bit too clear-cut and concrete. Granted, though, this was back when I thought there was some chance that guys and girls could 'just be friends' without the implication that it change into a relationship.

That being said, though the notion of a relationship being implicit sounds plausible, the few accounts of relationships I have, including my own, have at some point an explicit 'will you be my boy/girlfriend' statement.



hoping_for_the_best
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

29 May 2009, 11:25 am

my aspie bf asked me would i like to be his girlfriend, because in his mind he needed to know straight up : ) i can't see a girl would have a problem with you asking the same thing : )



starygrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 795

29 May 2009, 6:09 pm

It really depends how its approached. If you have been dating for a few months it is okay to bring up possibly making it a long term relationship. Its not like I am asked "do you want to be my girlfriend?" its more like we discuss where we want to take the relationship. Its just something that comes up.



MONKEY
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,896
Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)

29 May 2009, 8:47 pm

I'd prefer to be asked straight "do you want to be my girlfriend" other than something like "would you like to go to the cinemas" because I'd like to know exactly what's going on. The odds are we'd already be going out and I'd still be calling him just a friend because he never asked using words if we were going out.
Unfortunatly nothing is as simple as that so I have to somehow summon up some psychic powers which aren't there.


_________________
What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street.


DustinWX
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

29 May 2009, 10:04 pm

hoping_for_the_best wrote:
my aspie bf asked me would i like to be his girlfriend, because in his mind he needed to know straight up : ) i can't see a girl would have a problem with you asking the same thing : )
I wish that worked with normal girls.