is it normal

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for someone to not be thinking about sex all the time?

I'm not trying to say that I'm asexual (far from it), but basically many of the sex drive-based behaviors that men often exhibit, I generally don't. For example, when I see a good-looking woman, my first instinct isn't to check her out, as many other men would do... it just feels like in my quest to suppress all impulsive behaviors (which got me into fights with countless people and into trouble a lot more often during middle school and high school), I may have suppressed my otherwise normal male sexual behavior as well... What I want to know is: 1) is choosing to not let my penis control my brain considered a healthy normal way of life for a man? and 2) is it inhibiting my ability to find a girlfriend (since by not being impulsive, I'm very deliberate on taking action on anything)

You might relate to this:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt96858.html

But after I research about the subject I don't believe that I am asexual in any form or shape and I barely believe that there's something called asexual.

Having a romantic interest toward someone else of the opposite sex (or same if you're homo) IS a sexual behavior , even if it doesn't project explicitly sexual behavior. The brain is behind our sexual behaviors and not the dick .


And no, I fear that it's not a normal male behavior.

Not nessecarily a bad behavior even if it's not normal. Speaking as a girl, I'd like it way better being around/with a guy who doesn't check me out than one who does.

I think what you're doing is good. Alot of men, when seeing a attractive girl go "omg, i would do her" or in other words simply think with their dick. it's good imo that there are some who arent like that.

Looks are of course importent, you do need to be attracted to them, but not being like the others, i dont see the problem. Just shows you arent simply into the sex only, imo

The idea that men "think about it all the time" is a stereotype. Obviously, we wouldn't be able to function if we did. And there are other, more interesting things to occupy one's mind, you know...

The main problem with the average guy, however, is that he is susceptible to arousal at almost any time. Consider yourself fortunate if you don't have this weakness.

I'd say it's normal. It's the same with me, and I too am far from being asexual.

I'd say it's normal also. There're many people that don't think of sex for very long periods of time, and they're perfectly fine, just not interested in sex.

I was kinda like that betewwn the ages of 17 and 32. Just not interested in finding a mate or having sex. I suppose other things were occupying my mind.

You're normal.

Sex isn't the basis of a healthy, mature, lasting relationship.

The much vaunted sexual attraction ethic has lead to more exploitation, abuse, and pure lethal stupidity by both genders of the human species than crack, IMO. The grunt and sweat drive is purely about procreation and status re-inforcement (hence the 'trophy wives' BS), not about genuine intimacy.

Go talk to any ordained person who takes a vow of celibacy to find out the benefits of not letting hormones run your life. Being able to see the person beyond the mere body, being able to develop an emotional and intellectual intimacy happens best OUTSIDE lust, not because of it.

Sex is big business and the treatment of so-called sexual 'dysfunction' is worth billions of dollars. Don't fall for their clever advertising... you're just fine.

I'm similar. I'm attracted to intelligence, femininity and a certain uniqueness. Sexual attraction doesn't enter the picture that often... to me it feels like a side effect of these other attractive qualities. The women who have all these other qualities become the women I find most sexual attractive.

As for it being 'normal'... the only issue I have with it is that without the very strong sexual attraction/drive it's difficult to get the nerve to talk with women. I think that primal urge pushes many men to try lots of things in attracting women...

In the long term it's a good thing, and I think the relationships you'll have will be better for it. But it makes it difficult to form that initial sexually charged connection. And I have learned many women want to be found sexual attractive by men they like...

I suppose I'm one of the guys that looks at a good looking woman, and the first thing i do is check her out. But, it's all internal, and i never act upon it. It's different when I'm talking to a woman though, the sex thoughts take a back seat to conversation, or better yet, the effort to converse. So i won't say that i think about sex all the time, but it is the first thing that comes to mind when I see a woman that I don't know. I can't help it, it's a reflex.

^I don't imagine having sex with these women, I just evaluate their sexiness, and admire their looks/body. Mostly, I'm a chronic butt "checker-outer".



Maybe the reason I don't think about sex when i'm talking with them, is that i can't see their butt anymore?

Don't worry if it's "normal" or not. Do whatever you feel like doing.