What are Asperger girls like?

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It is a lot of new... My son has gone to stay at my Dad's for the week of the move, so he doesn't have to watch me melt down and panic.

Of course, he has new school instead of new job. Poor lad doesn't have friends in this area, so he isn't attached to his old school. But still... two aspies moving together is ... how shall I put it... fun.

It will be okay in the long run.

I hope.

Hugs to you. It's incredibly stressful. We have 3 Aspies and 1 NT in our house ( the NT is 4) and we're renovating this summer. That means I'm living in three places, in two different provinces from June-September. I'm trying desperately not to look at the "big picture" and failing miserably. One I get settled, I'll be okay, it's just all the friggin transistions and the what ifs. I'm not good with what ifs.

I'm in danger of a meltdown. I know I have lots to do, but I've just frozen, and now I can't think at all. I can't think what to do first, so I'm not doing anything.

Argh.

Are you into list making? I make a list of everything I have to do in each room, on seperate pieces of paper and then divide it up into days. Then when I have to tackle it, I work for 30 mins, then take a break and do a favourite activity for 15 mins. Wash, rinse, repeat. It helps to break it down into managable moments instead of one big pile of anxiety. Plus, there's some sort of relief of being able to cross something off the list and I can see how much I've done. Also, only focus on one room at a time. You'll get through it. I promise.

I've been going through similar, Mgran: I moved from one apt in my building to another, and I just couldn't even start with the packing because I would just freeze when I couldn't decide where to start. So, the day of the move people show up to help me, and they're just throwing things in boxes. Now I'm in my new place and I can't find half of what I need for daily life. I just kind of crashed after the move - I couldn't get myself going again for a week. I guess that was really a therapeutic collapse - I just really need to do that sometimes. So now I'm just unpacking a few boxes a day. It's easier for me to unpack that way than to pack that way. I guess that's because of my resistance to change, and if I do it slowly I can get used to the new with less stress. I don't suppose that makes much sense that I would be resistant to unpacking, but I don't always make sense. Celtic Goddess, I envy you your focus in how you organize with lists to get things done. I'm just no good at that! I do mostly stick to one room at a time, at least.
I have to say, gals, that I'm glad I don't have to deal with that whole looking-right-for-work thing anymore. I never did that too well. Now I just leave my eyebrows looking a little weedy and overgrown, and every now and then if I start to notice I'll pluck a few of the hairs from my chin that get a little longer (at least they don't get particularly dark). I wear my hair unruly on purpose: it's like a warning to others that they're not going to find someone here who is interested in playing the game. I'm glad I don't have to anymore, but of course the price is that I also don't have much money as a result.
One thing that struck me as funny about this thread was that it started as a guy asking what Aspie girls are like, and ended up with the girls talking about what we're like to each other! I think perhaps we're not so far different from NT girls in that respect.

From what i can tell, i think Aspie girls may be more patient with relationships and not being all breaking up after a month, find a new partner, break up, find new partner and so on as most NT's do. I also think they're more serious with relationships rather than NT's because many NT teenagers and up to 25-year olds just flirt, play interested, leave you after you have screwed them, and 'they don't know what they want to do with their lives like some lollipop licking sl**** b******. I don't even think NT's like that are in love with their partners, married couples quarrel many times every week, (In my country, 50% of them break up more than one time) they slap each others a***s and they go all naughty kissing in front of their friends . How the h*** can they call THAT love?! I would NEVER slap my possibly future girlfriends *ss, i would KISS her, that's the most normal thing you can do! I would also NEVER show my friends the romance between me and her, that's to intimate and it's just b***. If i have had a girlfriend, i would think of her before anyone else, and i would get rid of all my friends and family if that's what it would take to spend some time with her. I would even drop out of school and get jobless just to stay with her. I hope to find an aspie that likes me someday, and in my opinion, aspies are meant for each other

I have had many boyfriends despite being Aspie. But I don't know if it's me or them, they seem to go wrong. The latest guy, Mark Hicks has pulled away. See he was living 93 miles away from me, works in Sainsburys, has many friends(a social life) hobbies(computers,cars,old tv programmes) I had different hobbies and a different way of life. He dumped me last wk, he said to me "We have to break up, we have nothing in common, it wont work" I'm at a loss to what that means. But three days later, he tells me; "I care about someone else- a friend of a girl at work" No name?? He says one thing, next minute changes or tells a lie. He tells me he will talk to me later so I go out, but texts me minutes later to say he is online when he said later. Why is Mark like this? Does anyone know why men go weird???

^^ Revealing his full name and exact location on the net might tell you something....

Main benefits of 2 aspies dating:

1: Two high-speed, completely uncontrollable brains constantly enjoying the random babble that comes out of them.

2:Two VERY strong wills, shaped by the inability to adapt, and the pelting by bullies(It's a given, sorry but it is), able to shut up one-another. I'm not gonna allow an aspie girl to change MY mind, and she's not gonna have hers changed by me.

3:And this is a weird one, but trust me: Having an exremely vivid realization of events, to the point of almost overloading, is a VERY good asset when it comes to "Huggles, the advanced course" We feel more joy. We laugh harder. We feel more loving pressure when hugged. And, sorry for the blushers among us, we ALL moan harder and faster then an NT with similair skill.

And the downsides:

1:Comprehending the other person before you're truly intimately close: EXTREMELY HARD

2:Not escalating fights into wars and never, EVER being able to compromise in fights leads to strain and hate.

3:One word: Shy.

What are aspie girls like? Pretty much like aspie boys, except with breasts and a vagina.

I think Aspie girls and women tend to have as much difficulty or more than their male counterparts.

The ones I can spot have mostly seemed like emotionless robots, or at least emotionally constrained. Some of them don't seem to know how to dress or take care of their skin, something that tends to be part of the normal adjustment of NT women to their surroundings.

Probably the biggest problem is that some of them don't display the stereotypical female reactions. Things like the hair flip when talking to a guy, being extra polite, even with a guy they're not interested in, and sending mixed signals or none at all. Very hard many times to see when they are interested in a guy. They often are mistaken for being lesbians.

My sister, case in point -- very pretty, tall, in good shape, good job, now 30 years old, no boyfriend in about 8 years (that we know of). Assuming she is at least part Aspie like me, she seems to have the female Aspie problems. While not a robot (like a few I've known), she seems to have a hard time taking on the female role in a way that attracts the guys she wants. She's also very picky (maybe another issue with Aspie women and men) about the looks of that person -- she wants tall, blonde, athletic men -- not a ton of those in Los Angeles, frankly. I've talked with her about it, and she seems to be missing the skills to let a guy know when to approach. Where an NT woman would have learned by now how to send the green light signal to a guy across the room, she seems to be lacking.

Another example -- a woman at work I have a crush on (but just a safe married crush, not a "I want to date her" crush).

Her looks are everything I like in a woman, but that personality -- yikes! Very much like my sisters, but more robotic, more awkward, and she dresses very plainly and almost inappropriately crappy. Old shoes for a year, ect. (my wife own something like 100 pairs of shoes, which is apparently somewhat normal for a NT or partial NT woman who knows how to dress nicely).

Worst of all, she apparently does not like me at all. In the year+ that I've known her, she's only been very cold to me and awkward, despite my attempts to be nice. I almost think I'm being too nice -- maybe better to be mean, as she seems to treat those people better who treat her badly. If anything, her behavior just gets colder and more awkward with me, so now I take extra efforts just to give the person space and let her alone. Too bad, she's my favorite woman here, but I'm apparently not the kind of guy she likes. It's not about looks (I'm pretty good looking, though still a little chubby) from what I can tell, but something else. Maybe she just doesn't like white people that much -- she's Asian, born here, but apparently all of her friends are American-born Asians.

I think you only need to browse through these forums to see how mood and personality can differ from one aspie girl to another. It's simply impossible to answer. Are all blondes bubbly? Are all redheads fiery?
Have you ever met someone who you really disliked or couldn't get on with only to have friends tell you it's because you're too much alike? Having a partner with AS doesn't necessarily mean you'll gel any better or that you will be more in tune with them.

What are we like? We're sexy, of course!