Met a Guy

Post Reply New Topic

Well fair enough. Most people want sex though, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. From your posts it seems that you do not think much of sex. Fair enough, but you are critical of others that do, which I do not believe is fair.



Ok let me explain better then. I meant I hear NTs all the time going "you must wait XX amount of time before you do XX or they'll think you're too XX" (XX can be a lot of things). If you do not wish to have sex for six months then say it (which it appears that you have done to your boyfriend so not criticising you personally) and if the guy is mainly just interested in sex, they should be upfront about it too. Not saying things like that upfront is game playing.



What is wrong with that if that is what they want? As long as they are honest about it. Every single person I have had sex with, I have only been interested in having sex with them at the start, and I have been honest about this. My partner was the same, but after a time I realised there was more to him than just sex so we have been together a fair while now (over five years). I do not think there is anything wrong with just having sex with people, and not caring about anything beyond that as long as both people know this and are ok with it.



Well he should have told you he wanted more sex and then you could have decided whether or not to stay with him. But if he wants more sex than you, either you should let him sleep with other people or you guys should break up.



You can correct me if I am wrong but it sounds like you do not have a great deal of interest in sex. There is nothing wrong with that but if that is the case you should tell people that from the start and just not have sex with them when you do not want to. You should never force yourself to have sex even if you have told people you will - you can change your mind. Some people might get mad but this is better than having sex against your feelings. If you tell people upfront you are not interested in sex, I imagine lots of people won't want to be in a relationship with you but this means you won't have people treating you badly when they find out and you can find someone who is not that interested in sex either (like the asexual guy, but one that doesn't treat you badly like him). You should understand that to most people, sex is important to a relationship.



I do not think it is wrong to just want to have sex with people - no strings attached. As I have said numerous times - as long as people are honest about what they want there should not be a moral problem.



Well I personally go dutch or pay for all the meals myself when on a date. I do not want or need a guy to pay my way so the issue of wasting money is not relevant to me if I did not want to sleep with a guy. If you are worried about this on a first date, just pay half or for the whole meal.

Yes, I do. And no, you don't. You might ask around a little, and find out if he's really a 'chick collector' or if he's just comfortable with women. Pay attention closely to your gaydar, too. And be careful.

You're completely missing the point and your posts are about yourself not the guy in question. It's obvious from the information already shared that this guy is nothing like you, you getting rejected for your veiws regarding sex and women has nothing to do with this guy and people telling the OP that this guy is bad


The guy in question is an uncaring slut, this statement has nothing to do with people who require sex at the beggining of a relationship. This has to do with the information shared about the guy in question, stop taking every post so personally.

I was just responding to some of the issues raised here about sex in general. I have no idea if this guy is bad or not, it is difficult to tell from someone posting on the internet.



So you believe he is an uncaring slut from a few posts on the internet? I would find it a shame to judge people so quickly myself like you have and with such little evidence. Perhaps you have heard the expression "there are three sides to every story..." If I was the OP I would be talking with this guy about my feelings, not trying to second guess his actions, as it is easy to get them wrong.

Also I am not taking posts personally. I believe in the concept of "disagreeing agreeably" and I never take anything said towards me by strangers on the internet personally A few here, not just me, have posted personal accounts so I am unsure as to why you are singling me out. I guess it is because you disagree with me and as such are ignoring the others who are posting in agreement with your own views?

Saspie and Spokane girl, it seems to me that you have vastly differing views on sex. You both seem to have more experience than I do, so please look at what the original poster has said and give specific advise to her.

The original poster is seeking a relationship, as far as I can see and doesn't want to waste time on a guy who is not interested in a relationship. She doesn't want to have sex until marriage. A guy seeking sex only would be wasting his time and hers.

My opinion on this is that, if you're unsure, say no.

I'm in a relationship but it includes sex, so I don't know what advise to give you. I do know that being honest with him would be a good idea. Say to him straight out (if you do decide to go on a formal date), that you don't want to have sex until marriage and that if that is not what he is ok with, that you are not suited to each other.

I would also recommend that if you want a relationship (if this guy says that you are not suited to each other) where sex is not expected before marriage, that you go on a dating website/agency that specialises in people who don't want sex before marriage. These do exist but probably require a bit of searching. In Ireland, there is 'the knock marriage bureau', for those who don't want to have sex before marriage. Hope some of this info is helpful.

I'm not diagnosed with aspergers, i'm diagnosed with autism. I have highly differing socio-difficiencies to you. This guy has the conquest mind-set wrote all over him wrote all over him.

Well my main advice is to be honest and I have said that a number of times including in my last post. If he reacts badly then he is not worth the OP's time.


Oh yes I had heard of those but forgot it until you mentioned it. If it does not work out with this guy those websites are a good idea to meet others with the same expectations surrounding sex and marriage.



I do not think that either one of us can claim we are able to judge the man mentioned in the OP's post better than the other regardless of our differing ASDs. I do not think either of us have met him (well I know I haven't!) and I do not claim to know his motives. I would ask him and find out, not make guesses about it on the internet... Which has basically been my point all along, be honest with people about your expectations and hopefully they will be the same. This guy could be a horrible guy or he could just be misunderstood.

And some women are manipulative sadistic teases who withhold sex for the power it gives them.

I never understood this. It reminds me of the expression "like cutting off your nose to spite your face".

I really wouldnt care if it were a slut or a goodgirl. I cant be too picky as a man. I just have to take what i like that likes me. i dont care if she wants sex on the first night. Lifes too damn short to be worying about all that junk

The trick i do is act like i dont even give a damn about sex. i neevr talk about it. Sooner or later that will become a problem to the girl im with, and she'd wonder. "Why doesnt he ever talk about sex" then shed wanna have some with me. But if i keep constantly talking about it, then she'll either get uncomfortable or manipulate me by never giving it up. So i dont talk about it. that simple.

usually i constantly bother girls into letting me rub their feet and toes. most of the time they do let me, but sooner or later they are gonna get sick of me rubbing their toes, and they'll want something that really makes their toes curl

or dump me LMAO

To the OP - the facebook thing did send off warning bells in my head.

I think it depends on you, and what you want - and it sounds to me like this isn't really the sort of guy you're after. Then again, what do I know? I can't claim to know anything about you or the guy in question from a few posts on the internet.

I say - go with what your logic and your feelings tell you

If you feel uncomfortable around him, then it's probably a bad sign (on top of the logic stuff).

As for the sex and dating debate going on here, I think it can be vastly different depending on the individual. But my personal belief is that sex shouldn't matter that much. Sex and love are two different things, and they can both be good and both be combined, but love in itself shouldn't be dependent on sex (just as sex is not necessarily dependent on love).

Personally, I doubt I'd have sex with someone until probably around a year of dating them (not that we wouldn't kiss or anything), because it would take that long for me to really get to know them well enough and feel close enough to them to give them my full trust in that way. Of course, I can't say that's a 100% probability (circumstances can change), but knowing myself I think it is the most likely probability.

That doesn't necessarily mean anything... in high school, practically everyone called me a pimp, and some of the girls were always trying to ingratiate themselves to me primarily because I was someone "safe"... I never really responded to female advances (in reality, I didn't see said advances at all)...

So there's a chance that such doesn't necessarily mean that he acts in that way... although there is still a good chance that you're right... if he is that way, however, it will also be much harder to approach him since he wouldn't necessarily be any more responsive to your advances than anyone else's...


There has to be some reason you think the way you do... why? From what I've seen, sex sounded the death of a relationship more than anything else... on the other hand, if a relationship survived sex, it often lasted for a really long time... either way, sex was often more destructive than anything else...

There is "some reason" behind everyone's thoughts on everything so of course I have reasons but first:

Do you think relationships work better if there is no sex? Most people in the world would disagree quite strongly with this. There are evolutionary reasons as to why people are so preoccupied with sex (propagation of the species, etc. even though we have birth control now there are still evolved instincts). Also an orgasm is intensely enjoyable and having sex with someone skilled can bring one (or more) of these about.

Ok now for my reasons. For me, sex is the most pleasurable experience in the world, a relationship without that sounds awful... and completely pointless. Quite honestly, I am quite surprised that there has been few sex positive posts here?? People seem to have very immature and fearful ideas around sex from what I have seen posted and I cannot work it out. If one has no sex drive, fair enough do not have sex with others, but to then say that people who do have sex drives have problems is really quite ignorant.

Any girl who uses sex as a weapon, or withholds sex to see what the guy will do, is a game player and not worth my time. Guys, once a woman knows she can use sex to get her way with you, she will use that to walk all over you. I have seen this happen numerous times.

Guys, here is some advice. If your girlfriend does not give you sex, then don't take her shopping. After all, you have to make sure she likes you for you, and isn't using you for your cash.