I am so sick of trying to find someone online:(

Post Reply New Topic

I don't see the point of me using online dating sites. I'd rather [verb removed by lau] a local girl.

Online dating USED to be really nice. I even met a few women off it. But since maybe 2003 the Russian Mob has taken over all the sites and just spams away with automated programs, overwhelming the few real ads. Also, the guys on dating sites are so weird now, and want such bizarre and deviant and sickening things done to them or to do with a woman, that most women just delete their profiles and try offline. On Craigslist I've noticed that there are three types of women: ads (ok, not really women), serial posters who usually have something really wrong inside their heads so no man would ever date them, and women who post once or twice and then run away screaming. I think there are a LOT of women who have tried online dating and met so many pervs and horny toads that they just say the hell with this, I'm gonna get me some cats. I've tried CL, Lavalife, and was recently introduced to Plenty of Fish, which has its own problems, namely tons of dead ads from women who haven't logged in in ages, since they never delete anything, poor search engines, and lots of dating event spam. I will try OK Cupid. I'm not unrealistic, I realize I'm not gonna meet a supermodel, but I would like a woman who is reasonably sane.

Plentyoffish is one of the most depressing websites I've ever visited. Their forum is an emotional black hole, I've hardly seen such unsympathetic and selfish discussion by people who clearly aren't trolling. I find the women around my age are looking for men with a stable job who may be quite a bit older, moreso than the women I actually know through my own friends - notably, many are single parents. I didn't look at OKCupid very long, but it seemed to be an improvement from that or the smaller dating sites.

I still imagine that you're probably more likely to get lucky through meeting people on common interest forums. I'd say "like this forum", and sure enough there are some single women here, but I wouldn't hold out for anything. Join a few other places and become recognisable members of the community, and see if there are any women you feel you can connect with.

However, I've more or less given up on internet relationships over discussion forums. I had a bad experience with this approach, where I found that even if a girl is who she says she is there's still a vital gap in communication that may lead one to misunderstand the (vague) signals. After all, we're all talking to a big community of people through text, so many subtleties which may be necessary to pick up in real life just aren't there. It's worked out for some people, but after my bad experience I'd have major trust issues in such a scheme so I prefer "real life". So overall I'd suggest being cautious with women on the internet at all times, especially if you haven't met them in person.

Maybe it's just me, but when I read a topic like this, I always click on the OP's profile, wondering what he's all about. Only to find no information at all. If it were me, I would fill in at least some of my interests. One never knows who is reading the posts, feeling sympathetic, and might pm you if something in your profile strikes their fancy. Just a thought.

I haven't tried online dating (or indeed IRL dating!) but I have heard 'single, attractive, sane, pick any TWO.' Is it true?

I haven't found any local things to volunteer for or meet people that worked. I'm a wall flower and always get left behind. At least the internet offers a slight chance.