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PatientZero
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05 Jul 2009, 5:10 pm

Firstly I'm sorry to bother everyone with my problems but I don't feel confident to go anywhere else for advice and stuff.

I just started a new relationship and it's great, she's great, but I'm starting to get all the insecurity and paranoia, that I always get in relationships for no reason. My previous girlfriends it like a few months in not straight away. There's nothing to make me feel like this I just do, it makes me feel so bad and angry at myself.

I've looked online and sites have said about self confidence being the problem and that could be true but I don't know how to change that, and I would do what I can to stop these feelings, I don't want to ruin the relationship.

Any help would be appreciated, and sorry if I bothered anyone today.



Aimless
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05 Jul 2009, 6:06 pm

I have the same problem or did back when I was still trying. I had someone tell me I always looked like something bad was going to happen. The only thing I can suggest is to recognize that what you are experiencing is like an old recording that plays over and over if there isn't anything else to replace it. You might try challenging yourself when these thoughts arise. I don't mean you should overcompensate but just try to look at the situation logically instead of emotionally. She chose to be with you-that's a fact. She hasn't given you clear indication that she's dis-satisfied etc. It could also be self sabotage because you feel anxious about increasing the level of emotional intimacy and would rather end it than get to that point. These are all things I wonder about myself. I am a dyed in the wool relationship phobe if I'm honest with myself.



zghost
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05 Jul 2009, 9:41 pm

I can't reallt help you with the girl, but I completely understand your "don't want to bother anyone" attitude. I'm the same way.



jawbrodt
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06 Jul 2009, 12:14 am

Try working out. I used to do it in the past, and it helped alot with my self-confidence. It's not just about looks either, it helps your overall well-being. You'd be surprised at how much it will do. 8)



Lifting weights works best if you're looking for quick results. In two months you can change alot, if you do it right. :wink:


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