Who doesn't want to get married in the future?

Page 1 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Fintan29
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 269
Location: nevada

20 Aug 2009, 3:20 pm

I, for one, don't. There are a large number of reasons to be honest and there's a few I don't want to mention. However, I'll point out a few reasons:

Freedom: Being married or taken involves spending time with your partner, right? I already have my future planned (some people would think of it as a no-lifing future, but it would be good for me, so my life wouldn't be wasted). Being taken or having close friends even would kill that time. I also want to live on my own in the future, so it just wouldn't work. Then having children would kill even more time. Not that I wouldn't want any, I just feel better off without raising a family.
Difficulty: Anyone who has tried "scoring" would've found it hard to do so, right? Well, I'm not even bothered trying.
Turn offs: This may sound stupid, but I always don't feel the spark anymore when someone I like dyes their hair or something like that. It was the blonde hair that made me fall for her in the first place.
Marriage failure: 1 in 6 marriages fail in this country, so yeah.
Impressing: In this world, it seems to be that one must have friends, the lastest brand etc to impress a woman. Something I'm not bothered with (unless a Wii is impressive enough)
Interests: Don't know why, but NT girls always seem to be interested into the ones who play sports. I'm not into sports except racing which I don't do anyway. **** this already as it's good enough for me to not even try
STDs: Aids, Hiv etc is on the rise. Also, it's a pity that humans can get pleasure from sex. Nah, I'll stick with mas.... you know the rest. ;)
I'm a loner: I'll face it, I like being on my own all the time and I know I will be in the future.


Sorry if this sounds strange, but yeah. I'm not one who's going to bother trying. I don't expect my decision to change either. However, due to this world sucking real badly, my mind seems to be in love with women all the time. I must tackle this. 8O



AtomicKaiju
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,830
Location: Outer Space

20 Aug 2009, 3:31 pm

I don't want to get married either. I don't really see the point in trying to meet the high expectations of some bimbo so we could spend the rest of our meaningless lives together. Plus, I NEVER want have kids. But I can't predict the future, so I may end up married one way or the other.



Hershel_Numanox
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 37
Location: Scotland

20 Aug 2009, 3:33 pm

I've never wanted to get married, the whole wedding day debacle puts me off for a start. That's not to say I would'nt like to fall in love with someone I would consider a life partner. I just don't see why I need a legal document to tell the whole world that I love someone.

With my luck with women however the chances of this happening are slim. Opening up fully to someone can take me years and I don't anyone that patient.



Tomasu
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,193
Location: West Yorkshire, England

20 Aug 2009, 3:46 pm

^^ I believe I would be very happy if I did not become married. However, I perhaps believe I certainly may not predict the future and this may come to pass. ^^ I agree many of your happy points Fintan29. ^^ However, I perhaps believe that many of your reason for not wishing to become married are reasons that stereotypical individuals may not come to love you. ^^ Alas, if you do find a happy individual who you love and they love you, you may wish to become married. ^^ I am sorry if this is incorrect of me however.



Synesthesia
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 30

20 Aug 2009, 4:18 pm

I don't know. If I find the right person, one who is good to be around, makes me feel comfortable, agrees with me about being an attachment parent and WILL NOT HIT MY KIDS, I totally would consider marrying as long as I don't have to have a big scary wedding.
I'm afraid of weddings.
The thing that would be nice is having a healthy marriage and that's difficult. A marriage with a person who respects you, isn't abusive and works on the relationship would be a good thing, a special thing.
But the problem with modern folks is they think that getting married is like some sort of happy faery tale where everything will be perfect and you'll always be happy, but no. It will be hard work and involve sacrifice and if folks don't want to get married, than that's OK.



Daemonic-Jackal
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 581
Location: Salford, United Kingdom

20 Aug 2009, 4:21 pm

I don't think I'd wanna get married but only because I don't believe in the christian concept of it. Plus there's all the bravado and hassle that would go with it as well.

I'd much rather have some sort of Pagan cermony which unites 2 people together.


_________________
"Every cripple has his own way of walking. " ? Brendan Behan

http://www.facebook.com/YentonianCarlos


LAEMapsie
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 234

20 Aug 2009, 4:47 pm

I dont have an urge for marriage myself, see it has too old fashioned and merely just status.



anna-banana
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,682
Location: Europe

20 Aug 2009, 5:04 pm

I don't need any reasons against- it's enough that there is not a one single logical reason to get married.


_________________
not a bug - a feature.


Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

20 Aug 2009, 5:25 pm

Fintan29 wrote:
I, for one, don't. There are a large number of reasons to be honest and there's a few I don't want to mention. However, I'll point out a few reasons:

Difficulty: Anyone who has tried "scoring" would've found it hard to do so, right? Well, I'm not even bothered trying.


Uhm...are you saying it's difficult to 'score' while married? I can't speak to that, as one (emotionally) needy human* at a time is all the pressure I'm willing to juggle, so I wouldn't attempt it.

On the other hand, if you're saying Aspies can't 'score' because of their social difficulties...(ahem)...I must beg to differ. :wink:


Fintan29 wrote:
STDs: Aids, Hiv etc is on the rise. Also, it's a pity that humans can get pleasure from sex. Nah, I'll stick with mas.... you know the rest. ;)


'On the rise' may vary greatly depending on where you live and there are steps for avoidance if that's a serious concern. A pity??? Huh?? Duuuuude! It's the only legitimate reason to bother with social interaction of any kind!

I'm totally with you on the Not Getting Married boat - I used to believe it was the only thing to do, the way life had to be. After trying multiple times, and failing repeatedly, I realized some of us just aren't cut out for it. But I'm not exactly scouting to join a monastery, either. Marriage, bad. Sex makes life worth living.

________________________________________________________

*acknowledging that there are other types of 'needy ' humans, who may indeed be happily juggled in multiples :tongue:



Observer20
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 48

20 Aug 2009, 5:47 pm

Marriage is a sham for men. The laws are heavily biased towards women, she could even cheat on you and still get half of your crap. I have never met a long-term married man who was happy, I don't want some old hag nagging me to death for the rest of my life.



Synesthesia
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 30

20 Aug 2009, 5:59 pm

Dang, if someone married me or just lived in sin with me there's no way I'd nag them all day long because I'm laid back and chill. 8)



Seanmw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,639
Location: Bremerton, WA

20 Aug 2009, 9:25 pm

idk, it's still something i want to pursue someday. perhaps an impossible dream, but something that may well be within my power to accomplish and accomplish happily so i intend to give it a shot.

some say the ceremony seems like a sham. just a way to re-register you into the legal system and tax you differently. in some ways it is. but if you can find someone you honestly want to spend the rest of your life with sham or no sham, going through the procedure is still culturally a sign of as well as a personal and deep statement of commitment, and having the status lends some feeling of security and assurance towards that.

of course, that's not how it's always utilized. some marry for status, others for money. there's an ugly cynical side to everything.
and i strive to never practice the art of self-deception. if you can be honest and unbiased with yourself, it can offer infinite new horizons of perception and understanding about the world around you and the people who live in it.


_________________
+Blog: http://itsdeeperthanyouknow.blogspot.com/
+"Beneath all chaos lies perfect order"


ZEGH8578
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,532

20 Aug 2009, 10:46 pm

one in six?
here in norway 1/2 end in divorce. wheee!

i cant wait for the waves of generations of difficult divorcee-kids


_________________
''In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.''


MissConstrue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,052
Location: MO

20 Aug 2009, 11:04 pm

Too much emotional investment involved so no I'm not crazy about the idea of marriage.

It almost seems like a trap and I'm a little selfish in some ways of wanting my own space.


_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan


AutisticMalcontent
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 459

21 Aug 2009, 1:50 am

Fintan29 wrote:
I, for one, don't. There are a large number of reasons to be honest and there's a few I don't want to mention. However, I'll point out a few reasons:

Freedom: Being married or taken involves spending time with your partner, right? I already have my future planned (some people would think of it as a no-lifing future, but it would be good for me, so my life wouldn't be wasted). Being taken or having close friends even would kill that time. I also want to live on my own in the future, so it just wouldn't work. Then having children would kill even more time. Not that I wouldn't want any, I just feel better off without raising a family.
Difficulty: Anyone who has tried "scoring" would've found it hard to do so, right? Well, I'm not even bothered trying.
Turn offs: This may sound stupid, but I always don't feel the spark anymore when someone I like dyes their hair or something like that. It was the blonde hair that made me fall for her in the first place.
Marriage failure: 1 in 6 marriages fail in this country, so yeah.
Impressing: In this world, it seems to be that one must have friends, the lastest brand etc to impress a woman. Something I'm not bothered with (unless a Wii is impressive enough)
Interests: Don't know why, but NT girls always seem to be interested into the ones who play sports. I'm not into sports except racing which I don't do anyway. **** this already as it's good enough for me to not even try
STDs: Aids, Hiv etc is on the rise. Also, it's a pity that humans can get pleasure from sex. Nah, I'll stick with mas.... you know the rest. ;)
I'm a loner: I'll face it, I like being on my own all the time and I know I will be in the future.


Sorry if this sounds strange, but yeah. I'm not one who's going to bother trying. I don't expect my decision to change either. However, due to this world sucking real badly, my mind seems to be in love with women all the time. I must tackle this. 8O


You know, I find it very interesting that you're swearing off the idea of marriage and relationships at the age of 17. That's an awfully young age to make a decision of that magnitude.

Your reasons are very subjective, with exception to the "1 in 6 marriages" will fail part, and that relationships take a lot of time and commitment to work. Both statements are true. However, I consider relationships to be more beneficiary than harmful. Sure, it is painful to be hurt by rejection and avoidance, by being kicked when you're already down, but look at the potential benefits. You would have someone to love and care about, someone who would be BOTH your best friend, and your lover simultaneously. Someone you could talk to about your inner thoughts, feelings, and ideas with. More importantly, it would be someone who you can trust and depend upon.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that divorces and breakups don't happen, they do, but they happen for obvious reasons. It might be because of marital unfaithfulness, rushing into marriage BEFORE really get to know each other that well, or any number of reasons. But nevertheless, there are still other men and women out there, even if you have a bad relationship with one, you can still meet someone new.

I honestly believe that man WAS NOT meant to be alone. Why? It says so in the Bible, in Genesis. God realized how alone Adam was by himself, and God said to Himself "It is not good for man to be alone!". He put Adam into a deep trance, pulled out one of Adam's ribs, and created Eve, so Adam wouldn't be alone. In Corinthians, Paul says to the people in Corinth, Greece "It is good for you to be alone, like I am, but I tell you that if a man has passion, it is best that he becomes married. For it is better for a man to be married than to burn with passion".

Now, if you're not a Christian, and don't believe in the teachings of Christianity, that's fine. I'm not trying to convert you, I'm merely stating examples from the Bible for reference. But seriously, I don't think single guys (or women, if the scenario is the same) were meant to spend most of their adulthood looking at porn, masturbating, or doing both. I think we were meant to have significant others, not to lust and act upon our lustful desires in self gratification. It shouldn't be that way, even if it is for some of us.

I honestly believe it comes down to this:

There are some people who can truly live alone and be perfectly content and happy with life. They are a very rare breed indeed. However, I think that the majority of people who swear off marriage or relationships never really wanted to be alone in the first place. I believe that they WOULD like or love to be in a marriage or relationships, but are prevented from doing so. This might stem from rejection or a number of other things as well, but I believe that these people feel out of control of the situation, and they want to be in control of the situation. They want validation for their failure and disappointment. Therefore, they swear off relationships or marriage, but secretly desire it in their hearts.

Personally, I have never been married, nor have I ever been in an official romantic relationship. I've technically been single for almost 23 years now, and I know the very sting of rejection from the opposite sex as long as many guys on this forum. I have every right and reason to be pessimistic, to swear off relationships and marriage, to resent those who take such things for granted. However, I realize that man was not meant to be alone, and that when he is romantically alone, he is often unhappy and unfulfilled, and will seek ways of ending his loneliness. Therefore, I believe in relationships and marriage, because it completely fills his emotional and physical needs, and give him companionship, as well as a deep, meaningful friendship.



phil777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,825
Location: Montreal, Québec

21 Aug 2009, 2:04 am

I don't care either way -.- Good if it happens, doesn't change anything if it doesn't. ~­­.~