It's hard to ask somebody out

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I live in Millsap Texas and go to school in Mineral Wells. I'm the only person in the school who has it and so naturally nobody understands me, especially girls. Where I live, to get a girlfriend you have to be either really hot or... really confident. I can't say if I'm "hot" or not but I'm definitely not a talker and any time I'm in front of a girl I freeze up and anything I say I usually studder, look away and/or sound like a little boy telling on somebody. I tried putting up blogs and telling people about having Aspergers but nobody did. Usually I don't like to explain to people that I have Aspergers because as soon as the word "Autism" hits their ears they immediately think "ret*d". I don't know a Whole lot about what I am but I know I'm not a "ret*d". I hate where I live because no girl understands me at all and I always seem boring and a shy kid and anybody who's shy is immediately looked down upon. I have Some friends but that's mostly either people who are friends with me because they're friends with my brothers or sister, or because I'm a totally different person in theater and I have made friends in there. I'm still not boyfriend appeal though. Girls here don't like guys who have a "Problem" and just want the perfect man. There are some girls I like but they are the worst at understanding me. I've liked this one girl for two years and I've been told by a bunch of people (not here, internet) that I just need to ask her out. I freeze up in front of her and make a fool of myself and when I imagine telling her I get bad thoughts I don't want to think about because they'll make me cry. (most often than not, on the inside)
I really wish I could ask girls out but this really makes things complicated and I can't tell them because they don't understand anyway. And I really want a girlfriend and I never could have one. I'm not here to pick up chicks because having an online girlfriend is just about the saddest thing you can have but I just want to find people I can relate to and can feel my pain. Anyway, if I haven't wasted too much of your time already, message me if you want to. I always love getting messages. So far haven't gotten any on this Web site.

I don't freeze up, per se, but I don't say anything. Whenever I see a woman I'm attracted to, it's never under conditions that are conducive to me conversing. I don't like to talk so in order to get me to talk, there has to be something worth talking about.

95 percent of the posters here have the same problem. I have never asked out a girl in my entire life and I'm terrified to. The best I've done is to try to compliment a girl but other than that I've got nothing. I don't think it's my looks that's the problem because I'm tall, slim and neat. It's my awkward personality that's killing me. I have no confidence and the truth is, confidence is more important than looks to a girl.

Everyone on this forum has this problem. the aspie girls do too, but they still get bfs because they arent expected to ask guys out

back to the poster. Being really hot is not going to change anything with girls....trust me.
You can look like Brad Pitt and you're not going to get nothing more than a stare and a smile, and many unattractive girls after you.

also i wrote to a girl with asperger's online who lived in texas. she was unattractive, but she tells me that texas is a hard place for autistic people. she also met another aspie girl, but the mom of that aspie girl called her a slut because she listens to tupac. I dont think that has anything to do with how she looks, but instead it has more to do with smallmindedness and racism

I just don't have the confidence.
By the time I know someone well enough to feel comfortable asking, I'm stuck in the friend zone.

i have the same promlem theres this girl i like but i nowgm never going to get her because she is realy hot and im fat and ugly and people have made so many lies about me and told her some of them have even pretened she asked me out but see didnt and i get so pised of

If you have a look at my thread "Freezing Up!" lower down on the love and dating page you will be able to have a look at some of the responses I got about the very same thing. There was some good advice that may be of help. I've never asked a girl out either. Hopefully that will change soon as living life on your own is no fun.

I've only been able to ask a girl out once in my life, and that was only because she'd been sending blatent signals at me for 5 weeks. Girls used to ask me out often, but for some reason this is no longer the case.

For one thing, STOP BLABBERING EVERYWHERE THAT YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S.

That's not to say that it's a bad thing. Really, it's not. But the fact is that the majority of people don't understand it - and like you said, as soon as they hear autism, they think "ret*d" and assume you must drool and soil your pants on a fairly regular basis.

In my experience, it's best to not even mention it until you've developed a trusting relationship with that person. If they're a good person, they won't judge you on it - they'll listen to you, and be understanding. Seriously, advertising you have asperger's is the LAST thing you want to do. That's not to say be ASHAMED of it, but understand that society doesn't totally understand asperger's yet, and as a result most people won't understand it and may judge you.

Stop thinking of yourself as "the kid with AS" because that way, you'll never end up talking to girls. It's okay to be shy; I'm extremely shy myself. But you need to find a way to get out of your comfort zone, and ragging on yourself for not being good enough isn't something that's going to help your confidence any.

Also, think about it - if you were magically to transform into your town's definition of "hot", and suddenly girls started paying attention to you, would you really want that? What does it say about them? All it would get you is a bunch of shallow girlfriends who aren't interested in your mind. Being shy means the girls come few and far between, but you have to sort through a LOT less BS from shallow whores.

Anyway, I wish you luck. And I'm sure you're not as bad as you say

Like most here, I have this problem. I've never really had much luck with talking to girls.

I'm rarely attracted to anyone - it's just how it is with me, 'twas ever thus - but once in a blue moon, some dude will catch my eye...

...and that's the extent of it. Guys, as a rule, don't talk to me. At the gym, they *do* say hello, ask how I'm doing, make banal comments about the weather, etc., but it's only because it's a gym setting; they're there to work out, and I'm there working. In "real life," I don't register on the male radar. That, coupled with my social deficits and horrendous social anxiety (my work at the gym is a sort of self-imposed, forced "therapy") prevent me from ever approaching a random guy I might find attractive...well, that and the humiliation I presume I'll have to endure when he goes laughing off with his mates...