What are Asperger girls like?

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i'm an aspie girl with an aspie boyfriend. my former boyfriend is an nt and a jerk. my new guy is not abusive, but his affection is lacking. i know i have been rather problematic lately, but i've also been under a lot of stress and just need someone to show they care. our personalities are quite different but i can show him what makes imagination a great gift and he can keep me planted on the ground in reality if i need it. try going for someone whose astrological signs element is like yours (air, water, fire, earth). i'm a leo, he's a saggitarious (both fire signs and doing fine). the former boyfriend is gemini (an air sign and really hated)

Honestly I'd like to date an Aspie girl I really would. But from what I've read on this forum I dunno... (makes awkward expression on face) I don't drive (and due to my spatial issues I probably never will) and unless I can find a "weird" NT girl who can accept this it's not very likely I'll be able to date an NT girl Plus they all seem to have boyfriends (or girlfriends if they're lesbian/bisexual, yeah I've met a couple people like that). In both middle school and high school I went to a "special" school, where about only 30% of the students who went there were girls (which really limited my chances of getting into a relationship when I wanted to get into one ). It didn't just specialize in Asperger's in fact I found many of the students who went there were more along the lines of ADHD and/or anger issues. There were a fair amount of Aspies though and (not surprisingly) about 90% of those Aspies were guys, and they basically became my best friends. I met two Aspie girls there, though (one of them claimed she wasn't but I think she is), and they both had too many anxiety/anger issues for me to handle having a relationship with them (not trying to put a blanket stereotype on ALL Aspie girls, though, there's another one I know IRL that I didn't meet at the school who is quite even-keeled in comparison to them IMO).

The one girl at the school who actually really liked me obviously had some sort of diagnosis since she went to that school as well, but I think her case was more along the lines of mildly mentally challenged. She wasn't all that smart and IMO her interests were kinda dull but she was very sweet She was also one of the most innocent teenage/young adult girls I have ever known (if not THE most innocent), I don't mean just morally innocent (although in many regards, she was that, too) but more like socially innocent (not to be confused with socially inept, which can sometimes imply negative, angry emotions - she was pretty much never one to get angry at anyone esp. if they treated her nice, and the few times I saw her angry she handled it incredibly well). She reminded me of me when I was 7 years old, only my good, sweet side (and not the side that was prone to throwing tantrums, lol ) I wish I could meet a girl who was sweet and innocent like that, but just one who shared my interests in music, poetry, the arts, "indie" culture, etc.

That sounds like a nice girl. Hopefully she was socially innocent in the open, experimental way, not in the prudish way. And by the way, I think these are on some level opposites, seeing as children are born open and curious about other people, their bodies, etc. Sexual purity is in intellectual people, especially women, become even more ruled by social convention than the average when it comes to relationships.

Speaking purely as an Aspie woman...

I find that I'm blunt when it comes to expressing what I need and what I want. I'm sexually open to what I desire, what pleases me, and what would turn me on sexually. I'm quick to explan to you what pisses me off and how best to communicate with me. If there's something you desire/need/crave. tell me and I will be happy to provide.

No not in the "prudish" way, lol Just in the way that she just seemed a lot more naive than most people (and yes, I'm including Aspies in that category)

Fascinating thread, even the part about makeup. And ... errr ... mascara is the black stuff that goes on your eyelashes, right?

If I've ever known an AS woman, I didn't realize it. But then, I was married when I first learned about AS and before that wouldn't have recognized it anyway.

But as I think about it, it seems to me that I've probably encountered plenty of AS women. They're the ones sitting by themselves absorbed in a book ... or dressed in a cute, funky way that makes them look like no one else ... or sitting alone beside the trail gazing at the mountains ... or glancing up shyly, but saying nothing.

In other words, the ones who seemed the most unique, and the most interesting, and the most worth getting to know.

After looking at your picture, I'd say you hit a bullseye ...

Quiet, intense interests, shy from being judged negatively by others, bookish, artistic, don't usually dress in an obviously girly way in the modern sense, more outwardly logical than emotional, not flirtatious (except in the two minds touching happily kind of way), uncomfortable with touching unless in a very close relationship then very open, inwardly androgynous, far better at one on one converation talking about *real* things than making silly small talk in a group, much more comfortable with animals than people, love learning new gadgets and keeping up with technology, very long attention span when doing something I enjoy.

Looking back to before I met my (NT but with some aspie traits) husband, my most serious relationships were with men who probably were borderline aspie. I was never one of those "opposites attract" kind of people. If I couldn't find the person who was my missing sock, I was perfectly content to stay in my warm cozy drawer on my own.

Your question is ENTIRELY too broad.

You really can't ask a question like "What are aspie women like?" and expect a totally specific answer that is factual.

Just like "neurotypicals", we're ALL human. And ALL humans have individual personalities, values, and character. I've met people with asperger's who are total jerks and people with it who are nice. I've met people who hate anime and people who love it. People who are addicted to drugs and people against them. All these people had different morals, different beliefs, different.. well, everything.

It's true that a girlw ith AS might be more understanding to your plight than a "neurotypical," but at the same time, a "neurotypical" might be better for dealing with tough situations, like arguments. However, the opposite could also be true.

Don't write anyone off because of their mental status.

I find this account as well as many of those already stated here to be identical. I most often go with no makeup and dress less-than-girly, but I'll also overdo it when I try to and go extremely girly and far overdone for the occasion that I'm dressing up for. I'm deliberately making an effort to alter my wardrobe to reflect a more fitting, womanly, and tailored look than the dress down ill-fitting things I genuinely wore in highschool 6-8 years ago. Every new piece I get in I force myself to throw out something old. It's very hard to make this change happen as I wear the same old things over and over again all the time.

I also have no aptitude for jokes, teasing, etc. I take things said literally and often come up against, "relax I was teasing" "it was just a figure of speech" etc. ~sigh~

Most of the guys that I know lament that more girls aren't like this. So I think that it is a good thing for you to be a bit more like "one of the guys." Caveat: Most of my male friends are engineers, quirky musicians or fellow Aspies, so this opinion may be somewhat of an aberation from that held by the general male population. However, there is a significant percentage of the population that falls into the 'nerdy scientist' and 'eccentric artist' subgroups.

Aspie girl here. I care about what I wear but it's nowhere on my list of priorities once you get to know me. I'm very soft-spoken, and look a little frail, often ill (it comes when you're as pasty as I am) and I need more self-confidence, but that's one of the main things I'm working on. I appreciate honesty, enthusiasum, and passion, and don't like burning bridges over petty things.

I'm also very sensitive to touch so that's something you may want to consider when looking for a potential Aspie suitor. Just be consideriate and I bet you'll do well!

If you saw me, this is what you'll see:

Shy, uncomfortable about her weight (looks about a whopping 190 pounds or more, about 5'6 or 5'7 high without high heels), doesn't dress in latest fashion or any nice-looking fashion for that matter, not confident in herself, can spontaneously start crying for no apparent reason, never wears make up (no matter how slight), and avoids groups of kids her age all the time (goes far away to get around them), seems to have a stomach of steel (isn't disturbed to see most disgusting things).

It's no wonder no one has come up to me yet. I must look awful! (I don't really blame guys, though. They just probably want those stupid, skinny NT girls to go out with them because they think I'm weird).

So, yes, even if girls have Aspergers disorder, we're still just as complex as NT girls, but our brains are wired differently. And...apparently there's a reason why girls and women are so complex, I just can't think of the reason.

And, we can be a little sensitive to the touch. I can bare having my feet tickled for a few seconds, but I can't bare having my sides bothered. I've never been touched by another human being before (I'm only 15, after all), but I'm sure there's more places that are hyper sensitive. I would list more, but that would be a little too much information.

So if you do happen to touch us, look for signs that it's too much to bare. Like trying to wriggle away from you, for instance.

Most I was with didn't care about such signs at all and persisted.

+1 for manly aspie chick.

my career (railroad worker) really helps to lend to this as well. the culture will wholly consume you =)

Asperger girls are amazing.

I know one and know just how f*****g annoying it is to pursue a bloody aspie. f*****g insane moral standards, must be f*****g perfect, care only for personality, must f*****g like everyfuckingone despite the s**t they throw at you. I can tell you now it is not f*****g worth the BS effort.