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Weareallborndead
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30 Aug 2009, 5:29 am

Well hear it goes. My life is s**t, I fJNing hate it and this in relation to the this part of the forum will be clear in a sec. Anyway I am a failiure with women full stop. I am very good at making friends but that is about it. From there it is all down hill with constant BS coming left, right and centre. I am told constantly (without asking for it) that I am hansome or charming or some crap like that by women but end up getting no where. When I am interested in someone, they end up tending to say things like "I no girl friend of mine that would be perfect for you" or "maybe you would be interesting meeting (insert name here)". This of course cuts deep and even more so when these so called "friends" think that they are "a little bit fat" but they have "a great personality". Not that a great personality is not what I want but I really don't see why they go out of their way to say in so few little words that (they are ugly too). Why? I don't bloody know. Wow great friends they're to their other friends. Anyway I've had enough and I want a way out. I want to be able attract who I desire and not loaded off to everyone else. I am so sick to death of it. At this point I really never believe anyone when the say something pleasant about me. And as we all know the classic "you're such a nice guy" is the real killer of the day. I am tired of being used, tired of constantly just making friends and tired all this constant BS. I would like to know what I am doing wrong and to find away out. I want to able to pursue a girl for more than some bloody friendship not that friendship is bad thing but when it is all I get for the 50 F***** time then it of course starting to get ridiculious. I can't tell you the amount of shame I feel when I am asked the classic "do you have a girlfriend?" when it always leads to "hey I have someone you would love to (bloody) met. I need help.



CrinklyCrustacean
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30 Aug 2009, 5:47 am

Welcome to WrongPlanet! :D



Granite
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30 Aug 2009, 5:59 am

The good news is that you have clearly identified your challenge and are willing to get help.

Maybe a little minor tweaking to your approach is all that you need to change.



Weareallborndead
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30 Aug 2009, 8:01 am

Any advice on what can do? How should I tweak my approach?



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30 Aug 2009, 8:15 am

Unfortunately, weareallborndead, we only know the limited information about you that you have posted here. Since I can't observe or speak to you at length about your interaction with these women then I can only make some random guesses on how to tweak your approach. It may be in your best interest to confide your issues with a close friend who has some luck with the ladies.

I might ask one question. How are you approaching these ladies? You imply that you are talking to these women and telling them that you are interested in a romantic relationship with them. That may not have a good success rate for anyone. You have to think of these women as Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?" Women want dinner, they want a date, they want to go to the park, they want to go parasailing. Don't just say you are interested, ask for a date, have a plan, describe it.

"I want to take you out to dinner", is something most women want to hear.

Also, using an avatar of "weareallborndead" gives me some insight to your potential outward demeanor, and I can't say I am getting a warm and fuzzy. Look in the mirror, are you a happy person? If not, think about the persona you might be putting out there in public.



Weareallborndead
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30 Aug 2009, 8:40 am

Well I have tried that, I've asked them and have taken such people to movies, shopping, etc and no such luck. I'm still stuck in the friends zone.



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30 Aug 2009, 8:48 am

Weareallborndead wrote:
Well I have tried that, I've asked them and have taken such people to movies, shopping, etc and no such luck. I'm still stuck in the friends zone.


Movies and shopping will plant you in the friend zone very quickly. On a first date you don't take women to the movies or shopping.

First dates are about discussion, talking and relating.



Weareallborndead
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30 Aug 2009, 8:55 am

ok