Need some advice on impressing a girl I find attractive

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AutisticMalcontent
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06 Oct 2009, 6:06 pm

There is this new girl at my workplace whom I find very attractive. She is beautiful, and she seems to have a very pleasant temperament. She seemed slightly on the shy side, although she can carry a conversation with some ease.

I've talked with her just a little bit. She is college educated, like myself, although our intellectual interests are slightly different. However, I am really interested into getting to know this girl a little bit better, to see if we have some compatibility between us. The question is, how do I go about doing this?

What I usually do when I like a girl is hang out with her for a little bit, build up some trust and intimacy. After a certain period where a sense of trust is established, I ask if she'd like to join me for lunch sometime, (mind you, not as a date, but kind of a "getting to know you a little better" session). I say lunch in the sense that it is lunch, but that it is also an opportunity to impress and flirt with the girl in question. Usually this proves very successful, and I end up establishing a friendship with the girl. From there, I can move towards going to a movie, a golf course, or something along those lines that is a little bit more fun and interesting, and work my way up.

However, this girl presents a challenge because I rarely get to see her, thus diminishing my chances to be around her to impress her enough to ask her out for lunch, and seal the deal :P

Any advice? Well I'll leave it to you guys to come up with something creative. Thanks! :)



Tias
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06 Oct 2009, 6:16 pm

I suck badly at this kind of stuff.
But you kinda answerd it yourself.

You dont see her to much, well, just keep using your usual thing, it will obviously take longer, and when a good oppertunity comes, ask her something like you said, if she wants to eat lunch, and you could say that you hardly ever see each other, so it would be a good way to get to know a fellow college.....or something <_<



Krasher
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06 Oct 2009, 6:36 pm

Hmmm.....Something creative huh? Well there are plenty of fish in the sea if you know what I mean.



metelz
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06 Oct 2009, 6:52 pm

Coming here for romance advice is like going to a homeless shelter to ask for advice on real estate.



trgd__15
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06 Oct 2009, 7:15 pm

Whip it out and your chances with her will double.



jocagel
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06 Oct 2009, 10:37 pm

Don't fake it dude. Be yourself, and all will be allright.



AspieFireMan
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06 Oct 2009, 10:38 pm

Be yourself

Don't talk about your penis size, your ex girlfriends, politics, money, or your mom



Krasher
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06 Oct 2009, 10:44 pm

AspieFireMan wrote:
Be yourself

Don't talk about your penis size, your ex girlfriends, politics, money, or your mom


This is all good unless you have a naughty girlfriend who happens to watch Fox news.



KingKermit
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07 Oct 2009, 2:04 am

If you want to date her don’t go about this in a passive manner (the easygoing have skinny children). Your main disadvantage is you really like her, hopefully you don’t appear desperate or as “just a friend”. Pursue other women you find even more attractive (or equal). If she sees you receiving attention from attractive women then you just raised in social value to her. A female friend who is good looking works as an excellent substitute for this (she has to be really good working for this to work, the hotter she is the more she raises your value); repay your friend later with a nice dinner or something.

Women actually make more effective wing men the men believe it or not, because the target usually does not expect the ploy and lets her barriers down for the same sex.

Don’t get too into her or she will NEVER get into you.

Don’t agree with all her opinions just to make her happy, be your own man.

Be yourself.

It takes guts but put yourself out on the line and ask her out on a real date, all you are really doing is wasting time before that moment. You will look more confident and that will look better to her. Rejection was the story of my life for years, now I am married. I got used to it with time. When you do ask her ask with the attitude that you will find another girl just as pretty anyways if she says no. This will make you appear confident. Chicks dig confidence. Just don't cross the line into appearing arrogant.



English_Chick_21
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07 Oct 2009, 2:29 am

as a girl i can say just be yourself. have a little guts and ask he out as just friends maybe with a group. Girls admire guys with guts

hope all goes well



SINsister
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07 Oct 2009, 9:41 am

KingKermit wrote:
When you do ask her ask with the attitude that you will find another girl just as pretty anyways if she says no. This will make you appear confident. Chicks dig confidence. Just don't cross the line into appearing arrogant.


This tactic may work with NT women, but I have my doubts that it'd impress an ASD chix0r...


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Janissy
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07 Oct 2009, 10:16 am

SINsister wrote:
KingKermit wrote:
When you do ask her ask with the attitude that you will find another girl just as pretty anyways if she says no. This will make you appear confident. Chicks dig confidence. Just don't cross the line into appearing arrogant.


This tactic may work with NT women, but I have my doubts that it'd impress an ASD chix0r...


We have found another place where As and NT women converge. This technique is unlikely to work with NT women either. And probably for the same reason. It makes the man appear like a total (pick a body part).



Janissy
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07 Oct 2009, 10:22 am

AutisticMalcontent wrote:
What I usually do when I like a girl is hang out with her for a little bit, build up some trust and intimacy. After a certain period where a sense of trust is established, I ask if she'd like to join me for lunch sometime, (mind you, not as a date, but kind of a "getting to know you a little better" session). I say lunch in the sense that it is lunch, but that it is also an opportunity to impress and flirt with the girl in question. Usually this proves very successful, and I end up establishing a friendship with the girl. From there, I can move towards going to a movie, a golf course, or something along those lines that is a little bit more fun and interesting, and work my way up.

However, this girl presents a challenge because I rarely get to see her, thus diminishing my chances to be around her to impress her enough to ask her out for lunch, and seal the deal :P

:)



Your stated plan sounds just fine. The fact that you don't see her that often doesn't make it a bad plan in this instance, it just means it will take longer. Or maybe it won't. If she does actually find you likeable, she will be thinking positively about you both in the time immediately after she leaves your work area and in the time befoere she next goes to it ("I wonder if AutisticMalcontent is working there today?"). Your usual methodology is a sound one and I think you should stick with it.



Janissy
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07 Oct 2009, 11:17 am

KingKermit wrote:
When you do ask her ask with the attitude that you will find another girl just as pretty anyways if she says no. This will make you appear confident. Chicks dig confidence. Just don't cross the line into appearing arrogant.


Chicks dig the confidence that you are comfortable in your own skin and are not clingy, whiny, mopey or otherwise likely to drag them down with you. Chicks do NOT dig the confidence that if she says "no" you will turn right around and get a "yes" from the next pretty girl who catches your attention. That's what's known as "a dick move". Not advisable.

It is probably intended to come across as "I could have any girl but I chose you. Because you're special." At least that's how I hope it would be intended to come across. If it's intended to come across as "if you say no, there are dozens of hot girls waiting for their chance to say yes" then...see above paragraph.

There are men who actually COULD get a large selection of hot women should they want to. Being chosen by such a man would be very flattering. But here's the catch. Such a man does not need to convey that he could get any woman. It is just assumed because of his fame or looks or power or wealth. Any man who attempts to convey it will get a woman's hackles up and put her on the "I'm no bedpost notch" defensive. Men at the tippy-top of alpha-ness may be able to convey "I can have any woman and I want you" without being shot down but for those who are not movie stars, pop stars or pro athletes, this approach is best avoided since it exudes #@$%$#-ishness, not confidence.



Merle
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07 Oct 2009, 4:56 pm

Ah the workplace, where most relationships start.

You already know her and she's new. Use that to your advantage regardless of the frequency of your contact.

Recognize women like men who are confident AND show an interest in them.

So touch base with her every couple of days. "How are things going?" "You getting along okay?" "Up for coffee?" "Get to know anyone else here?"

The last part, people she'll get in contact with are going to help. If you find a girl she's befriending (and girls do this a lot better than guys), reach out to that person. "Hey, so-and-so is new here, know anything about her?", "Hey, how's so-and-so doing?"

No big deal as it does two things: Pumps a 'friend' for information and lets that 'friend' know you're interested.

Okay, once you have some information, you can broach doing something outside of work. "Say, I hear you like blah blah, how is it? Who do you go with? I've always had an interest in..."

You have the right ideas, just remember - she's going to make friends both guys and girls. If you can find the girls and make an effort to find out more about her that way, it's your leg up.



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07 Oct 2009, 7:13 pm

Relationships in the workplace? Not a good idea, it really isn't. You don't want your personal life to get in the way of your job even if you work in different departments, it doesn't matter. Has there been a few girls in my workplace that I've liked? Sure but trying to get them to like me was a waste of time and the ones I liked turned out to be nothing but big disappointments. Still, if you really like this girl so badly you are at least doing it the right way by trying to be friends first.

I suppose I'm being more negative because I've seen plenty of relationships at my workplace and they really annoy me by flaunting them in front of me and everyone else. Two idiots even had a child together. Plus I'm so sick of falling for girls who I think are nice and decent and yet they turn out to be b*****s. My advice to you is to make sure this girl is the right one for you, make sure she is decent. You might want to know a little bit about her before making anything happen because you CANNOT go by looks, looks can kill. Trust me, you don't want to fall for a girl who is in reality a b**** like I did. I was too shy to ever ask her out anyways but nevertheless, I hate the fact that I ever secretly liked her in the first place.