Are AS girls romantically attracted to less people?

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Probably depends on age and experience. To go from "in theory that would be someone nice to be with" to serious attraction I need at least a low level expectation that the attraction could become mutual AND that we would be compatible (not the same thing at all). I simply can't generate even a low level expectation any longer, so no attraction ever gets serious. I can think of lots of women who deserve to be loved, but I won't be the one experiencing that emotion. I have to leave that to others, and wish them good luck with it.


You can safely hang around me. I am guaranteed not to be a radiation hazard. I absolutely ooze non-sexiness from every pore. If the oozing ever failed, I have a fallback option that will put off any woman I ever subject to the ordeal: I start flirting with her.

ROFLcopter! For me, that would depend on whether or not I found you attractive, and whether or not I could tell that you were flirting with me (odds are that I'd never know). If I thought you were cute, *and* I realized that you were flirting with me, you'd probably be in trouble.

Rarely. Since the end of my twenties, romantic attraction has also included physical desire. I've never experienced a relationship with someone I romantically and physically desired and probably never will; I doubt it could be anywhere near as good as in my head.

So rarely anyone "real" (i.e. not just admiring someone famous who happens to have an outlook or talent I respect AS well as being easy on the eye)

So much inertia and so many issues to overcome, I scarcely met anyone worth risking rejection or loss of emotional equilibrium for. And even when I did, I usually managed to run away from all that anyway.

(now that sounds like I'm quoting Kate Bush, Hounds of Love. )

Hmm sorry guys, I'll try to come up with a clearer definition. I don't necessarily mean anything as extreme as "love at first sight", but I mean somebody that you are both physically and romantically attracted to, a.k.a. someone you would consider dating.

For me it's always been attractions and crushes in my head - in other words, guys I consider myself attracted to don't know I exist, or would probably never go out with me anyway. As I've gotten older, I've made some attempts to let guys I find attractive know that I'm attracted to them with the result being very painful - they aren't attracted to me, some nicer about it than others. Guys who find me attractice I unfortunately feel zero attraction for. I've tried dating a couple of these guys, hoping the attraction will come around and it seriously never does, which isn't fun for either person involved. It makes for a rather nihilistic view of my relationship future, this constant thought of, if I find him attractive, forget about it because he's not going to want you, so you can either be with someone you have zero attraction for or be alone. I just hope that I'll happen to meet that right someone someday, otherwise I am also aware of the possibility I could be alone forever.

When it comes to guys, I'm extraordinarily picky. In order for me to ever consider starting to date them, I have to already know them and like them in a big way, and I have to see if they like me in return, but I'll never ask them this. (Because of that, I've never dated. ) Of course, when you're already seriously attracted (that's not the right word) to a guy, then it becomes harder to look at any other guy of interest and go, "look, dating material", even if it might work out and if the guy you're already attracted to isn't attracted back.

Anyway, I prefer to only rarely have interests in other guys. My pickiness is because I don't want to waste time and drama on someone I eventually won't even grow to love, and I'm certainly not going to marry a guy I don't love, especially with my autism. Like I said, I have to be pretty darn sure about what will happen with the pairing. Maybe not 100%, but certainly not 0%.

The first cue would be a feeling of being red hot and very small, yet strangely conspicuous, coupled with an intense wish that the Earth would open up and swallow you, with a tsunami obligingly erasing every trace of the fissure. That feeling is called embarrassment.

Because I can embarrass people in my company without flirting, you need a second cue. If you also perceive something vaguely resembling a compliment (roughly in the way that slime mold resembles a rose) lumbering towards you with all the style and grace of an intoxicated teenage mastodon, that would be the clincher. It would mean I'm flirting. Once you know the signs, it's pretty easy to spot.

I don't promise that this method helps you detect anyone else's flirting.


I think there's an ocean between us. I generally count that as a safe distance, unless I have actionable intelligence suggesting otherwise. Besides, I move fast when motivated by terror. And a woman responding positively to my flirting really would inspire terror.

You're funny as hell, man. Thanks for putting a much-needed smile on my face!