AS people might have an advantage ...

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... if what he says here makes sense:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6M0hR0lLvc[/youtube]

If this guy has AS and is using his analytical mind to see this, i would agree you. However, some of what he says isnt always true. Some women would like to be wined and dined, but not all women will necessarily want that. He's pretty much saying, "Be your d@mn self," which should be everyone's mindset. Now, i'll admit to the whole "gentleman" bit because it seems respectful, on the other hand, he does have a point . . . acting like that can be considered an empty promise. A, "Too good to be true," scenario i guess. Listening to what he has said, i can understand my situation . . . i honestly wouldnt know what to deliver a woman who has my fancy, even though i would want some companionship in my life (currently underemployed, a player of games with little interest in social/political scenarios, and nothing really set for a goal in life).

He's right in part: women don't like gentlemen, but he's wrong about the motivation for being a gentleman. If he was right, conversations between men and women would go something like this:

Man: Hello, I find you sexually attractive, would you like to have sex with me?

Woman: Yes, I also find you attractive (or) no, I don't find you attractive.

Or maybe there would be more direct questions to help the woman determine whether the man is a potential mate, like wealth/educational level/physical fitness.

As a nice guy/gentleman myself, I am honestly more comfortable with the formal type of relationship, where there are rules and logical steps, meet woman, become friends, ask for date, go on Friday night date to restaurant, kiss, buy flowers, go on another date, sex. It's not a trick or an image I present to the world to mask my true feelings.

This type of relationship plays to my style of thinking, as it requires a lot of verbal interaction and is logical. It also has clear lines where the I know if I'm making progress (aha, she accepted my date- she must be interested!) without having to guess. Women in this paradigm are expected to be nice and pleasant, to let the guy through to the next level if he passes muster and to gently reject him if he doesn't, the theory being that if you do this enough times you will eventually find someone you are compatible with, and can begin to do things like hang out during the day, go on vacations, or move in with.

Women are more emotionally sensitive and communicate non-verbally, so they want someone who will give them emotional peaks (not just a level plain) and knows when they want to be kissed without having to be told. They'd rather meet someone informally, like at a club or party, allowing them to be swept up in the moment and adding to the emotional roller coaster, instead of having to approach romance as a series of disjointed, formal "dates." The man is there to give the woman a passionate, exciting experience, to allow her to let her hair down and be spontaneous. You can't do this if you force the woman into a formal dating structure, she may feel constrained and that does not let her express herself.

Alpha males (the "thugs" he refers to in the video are just another type of alpha male like jock or frat boy) are comfortable being in this second kind of relationship, as they can provide woman with that emotional experience they are looking for. This is how things work with our close primate relatives, it's all about body language and non-verbal interaction. A century ago, it would happen in the shadows- the "traveling salesman" story, but today, we are moving towards accepting the second type of relationship as the normal way of dating, as is more natural for everyone except the nice guys, who need to be educated about how women think in relationships.

Well... Kissing girls on the hand is all right! If you are congruent with it. He's right about honesty. You shouldn't buy your way into a girls heart. Most likely you won't be able to and if you are.. well, I think that's sort of prostitution. Make it special and on your terms if you buy her stuff. If she's broke and hungry, you may buy her something to eat. But don't take girls out to the finest restaurant in the city to prove that you're worth her.

..It's more about the subcontext of what you do. Buying lunch for a hungry person is nice, buying the most expensive dinner ever is try hard. Get it?

I agree with what this guy is saying.. but in a VERY different way. I think..well i'll change that.. I KNOW women like gentlemen. But women do not like guys who ARE gentlemen. By that I mean a guy who relies on pulling out chairs and paying for expensive dinners, as opposed to actually have a personality.

I'm talking about the type of guy who instead of being themselves..throws out "Oh you're sooo beautiful" or.. "How's dinner" or "Are you having fun" every few minutes. Women are just people and while some of them are very nice, beautiful and near and dear to our hearts you cannot be a pedestal for them. Treat them with respect and love, don't worship them like the holy scripture.

Its fine to buy dinner, but talk about whatever interests you.. NOT what interests you about them hormonally.

Also.. he talks a lot about confidence a lot in the video (I doubt if this dude has AS but who knows) confidence helps tremendously, but you don't have to have the "stereotypical" version of confidence. Confidence is a reflection of how you view yourself and what you think your self worth is in contribution.

A lot of people (even on this site) have low self worth and don't get a gf not as a direct result of AS but because that self worth is lower than those of people who haven't accomplished half as much and DO have a gf.

I mean, are we really saying no one here has nothing going for them? Generally I think its nonsense, if you have a steady concept of what a relationship is, you can have one.