Aspies & gay/lesbian/bi relationships

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There's a considerable proportion of Aspies who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. I wonder, do they experience the same amount of difficulties finding and maintaining relationships as heterosexual Aspies do?

Are gay/lesbian/bi Aspies as lonely, in terms of romantic love within their orientation of interest, as heterosexual Aspies?

Well, I am gay and I am an Aspie. I have no idea if I had it as hard, or easier than I would have had I been heterosexual.

One advantage that I may have had is that as a gay man is that the traditional sex role for men when I was growing up was to take the initiative, so that my potential partners might have been more likely to approach me than women might have been, were I heterosexual.

I have been in a relationship for almost 19 years, so I guess something is working right.

idk, i'm as straight as they come.

but i'd imagine some relationship problems are universal.
so for the most part i'd guesstimate that yes, i think problems are probably pretty similar.

felt i just had to put in my piece as the token hetero.
provide some balance of opinions.

Are you comparing those who are gay/lesbian/bi with AS to both male and female heterosexuals with AS, or just males? I think there are too many groups involved, making it difficult to say anything.

Appearing female, I found I was approached very often and ended up in relationships. Although I am bisexual, I was only approached by males. I have not experienced a relationship with a female because I lacked the social skills necessary to approach them myself or sense their orientation, and encountered very few in my daily life (e.g., in my physics dept. or office, there were very few or none).

Even being approached regularly by males, I never had a relationship within which I experienced romantic love, and attribute this to the AS because I could not grasp many aspects of relationships (which I won't list here). I also do not identify as female, but slightly on the male side of gender neutral. This contributes to being romantically unfulfilled because I have only encountered one person who understands the concept of gender identity--my transgendered cousin--and find most people are uneasy or repulsed around these matters.

I was thinking more in terms of comparing with male hetero Aspies. But you mention female Aspies as well. I think that as female Aspies may have more luck in relationships due to them being the ones getting approached, you guys may be on to something when you talk of e.g. gay Aspie males receiving approaches, and not being the one having to approach. Therefore this might mean they have more opportunity in relationships, in the same way a straight female does.

I am a bisexual male.

Ok, so I've had this theory for years that a large share of the Spectrum population was GLBT. I'm a gay (well, 85/15 bi) aspie. I was a huge wonton slut, but I had trouble approaching others romantically. I still do, in fact. Fortunately, my partner found me.

My sister (closet bisexual) has had similar relationship problems with men, and had similar problems with family growing up. She got into drugs, whereas I got into anon sex, for emotional highs.

I've never had a relationship with a woman, most of my bisexuality is theoretic. Note the word most.

If anyone wants to discuss this further, please feel free to send me a message if you'd rather not reply here.

I don't know about 'most'. I don't know any other gay aspies, except on here. It's been a lonnnnnnnnggg time since I dated...I kind of just forgot about it. It's weird, really, I go from one topical obsession to the next and years can go by. It also has to do with the fact that the last person I dated was the love of my life and the most physically perfect human being I had ever seen...I guess I am shallow, but I felt like no one could ever match her. Dumb way of thinking. And I always thought we'd get back together. As aspies we may be lonely, but not in the NT way of being lonely. For me personally it is exhausting being in a relationship or doing all that 'dating/romance' stuff. I'm happier being a nerd, just being alone and pursuing my interests. It is 'not me', to do all that co-relational stuff. Especially in the beginning, when it is all so fake. I can't stand that part. I guess I feel someday I am going to meet someone and we will just click and we won't have to do all that weird preliminary crap. Or it may not happen again for me in this life. I'm trying to really allow myself to accept that I am happier alone. Ideal for me would be meeting another aspie, so we can be alone together. lol.

I have been in relationships forever. I grew up in a big family, and this experience was compounded because of the urban area in which we lived, and my mom did daycare in our home, so I was always surrounded by kids. About as many older as younger. Plus I was totally insecure and codependent because of things my father said and did when I was very young.
So, being in relationships and being codependent on my friends was my second nature. The last couple times I found myself single, I did ok, and I even lived alone for a while at one point before moving in with a friend to save money and live someplace safer.
I guess my point is that my interpersonal relations might be my least AS-y trait. Does that make sense?

I am lesbian since primary school.
It started from falling in 'love' with my teacher. Actually I still think about her every day.
With her I could talk during classes and answer questions. For me it was always a problem.

Today I am not in relationship. Well, I would like, but I lack self-confidence and probabely girlish charm.

There are alot of gay/lesbian aspies out there I have been in a 4yr relationship with a woman long ago and far away there is a yahoo group for queer aspies http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOtherQueers/