For Lonely Guys -- One week without a negative thought

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I'm writing this mostly for some of the lonely guys I see on here, but this advice is good for the opposite gender as well, and just for general life. I fully expect to see a lot of skepticism, but don't knock it until you try it.

The concept is "A Week Without a Negative Thought". I got it from one of Anthony Robbins earlier programs -- he may very well still use this idea, but I wouldn't know. The idea here is to stop yourself every time you have a negative thought -- refocus, reframe, do whatever it takes to get your concentration back on the positive, on solutions, on remedies, on positive action you can make right now.

The end result will be that you will find yourself a happier person. For some of the lonely, sad, or depressed people here, part of the issue (and I'm not spouting Robbins-ese here) is that you are actually deriving pleasure from your negative thoughts and ruminations -- the point of this exercise, if you actually are committed to becoming a happier and loved person, is to stop those ruminations, which are sort of like cheap candy or fast food -- they satisfy some need (like self-pity or an excuse for why things aren't going your way), but at the end of the day, you just end up emotionally bloated and unattractive.

Specifically for lonely guys, what you will find is that by the end of the week, your externals will start matching your internal states -- you will look happier, because you ARE happier. Women like and want happy guys, not moody self-pitying ones, so if your goal is to get a woman, start building the foundation and improve yourself mentally.

Like I said, I expect skepticism and flames about how "it won't change anything" and "you're just fooling yourself".... BLAH BLAH BLAH. That's rude, and I mean to be rude here, because someone needs to shock you out of your trance. It certainly has worked for me in the past, and my positive moments with the opposite sex always coincided with this change of state of mind.

So if you're man enough, accept my challenge -- no negative thoughts for a week. What do you have to lose?

I came to this through the route of zen meditation. It's a somewhat different path but it travels over a lot of the same territory and I experienced the same positive effects as you describe. I hope people here give your idea a try.

You have to have optimism at the right moments as well as pessimism, or else you arent a "balanced, individual who thinks realistically.

Yeah, I do view the world ad a glass half full, but I do it more out of a philosophy I have developed. (yeah thinking about s**t constantly can do that.)

I am a pragmatist. I am a philosophical pessimist. I am a Realist and an existentialist.


But yeah, people do need to actually try more, and approach it with a level, emotionally neutral head. Dont get your hopes up or down, just do it. As one tiny green alien filled with wisdom has said, "Do or do not, there is no try."

Very well said. I totally support this.

Oh, believe me -- I might be one of the most practical people you know. Practical to the point of being cruel -- but ruminating on the negative, especially on a personal level, doesn't solve it. It's ok to acknowledge the bad, but don't dwell on it -- deal with it and move on.

I can move on, but there are indeed points where Ill be bored to the point of using it to piss off people just to entertain myself.

Done.

Easy challenge. I just work on my obsessions and work. Do the things that make me happy and I'll stay happy for a week easily.

However doing this is not very conducive to meeting women...

i'm in.

methinks it's not that easy, but certainly doable

I think it's actually very conducive to it, because now they'll actually want to meet you! Btw, this doesn't just mean doing things that make you happy -- do the things you need to do, but do them with a new attitude. Even the smile or relaxed expression on your face will make a world of difference in terms of their attraction to you.

It's like the other thread, where some of us mentioned that women (or men) seem to like us better when we're drugged/drunk. It's because any hostile or stressed-out affect is wiped away, and people see the blank canvas that they can project their own fantasies or desires on, or better yet, a happy person that looks like they know what they are doing and knows where they are going.

Yup. I'll take mellow over tense any day. The whole "be my girlfriend NOW!! !" is a real turnoff. Therange's epiphany thread also shows that this approach is so much better. The grim death march towards a relationship as all women are divided into either shallow byotchs or "the one" is so off-putting and guarentees failure.

A good way to do this for anyone thinking it's hard is to wear one of those rubber bracelets and every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought move the bracelet to the other wrist. Gives you something else to focus on for that critical second or two so that you can stop the thought as it starts. There's an entire book about this which you don't need to read anymore

What a great idea! The less negativity someone has the more appealing they are to everyone! It will make you happier along with everyone you come in contact with. Who knows you may meet someone in that week because of your positive attitude

For me the glass is always full, for it's always filled with air

thats another good way to put it.

KenM: read this. Live this.