Not sure how to move forward

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Yeah I understand what ya mean with the insecurities and stuff.

Winter sucks, and sun wouldnt help me much (im pretty damn pale, and my skin litterally cannot tan, been trying everything for years.although my face does have slight color, but thats about it)

with weight lifting, yeah you are going to need to eat more, but it has to be the right stuff, mainly proteins and complex carbs.

But yeah, maybe you also just have to feel more comfortable with how you are appearance wise anyways (aside from the acne part), if you get all buff, its just a long term goal you can aspire to. Being a perfectionist with yourself isnt really a good thing as from my own experiences, you set your goals far too high, dont end up meeting them, then you kinda stress out over it all
Dancing, as with the sculpting out your body, a long term goal. if you manage to attain it, view it as a bonus, and thats it.

I'm certainly a high anxiety, perfectionist sort of person. I try to channel that energy constuctively and positively though. But, being stressed all the time makes my stomach perpetually nauseous and I have no appetite. I used to be 107lbs 5'9" in high school at my lowest. I'm about 155lbs 5'11" now. Healthier, but it seems my frame wont fill out for at least another 10 lbs of muscle. My diet already has plenty of protein and physiologically sufficient amounts of carbs and fats plus all sorts of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants, but I just simply need more calories... and more sleep.

but I digress *adjusts monocle and tophat*. There is something to be said about how being comfortable with your current self is healthy for your psychology and that positivity can be seen in your interactions with others and all that. I just sort of realized it's a deep fear of mine that a woman I like will find me unattractive. I'd feel like such an oaf if I tried to, say, ask a girl out for a date when she finds me unappealing. I don't want to be that guy who's awkward and unattractive but bothers women regardless. maybe realizing I'm not in that bad of a postion to begin with will be more helpful than covering up my deeper insecurity be adding flare to the outside so to speak... oh well I'll just keep pressing on in any case.

This will be the case most of the time, no matter what. That's just normal.

Although there are a lot of negative that you pointed out about yourself, there has to be some positive too. And there is most likely somebody out there that is going to like those positives about you. And if that person cares about you, they are not going to worry about all of the negative things you pointed out. As long as you can accept your own qualities, good or not so good, and you have confidence in yourself the way you are, other people won't see all the negative things that you pointed out. Make sure to flaunt the good things about yourself reather than dwelling on the other bad things. Good Luck!

Hey! If you cant be positive about yourself how is someone else going to be able to look at you positively? I have bad acne most of the time & I dont have the nicest body but i still look at myself in the morning before I go to school & think that I look nice. I try to make the best out of any situation. My personal input about the dancing lessons is you dont have to know how to dance to attract someone. But I hope everything goes well with that girl.

I may sound negative here, but I'm a very postive, up-beat sort of person in real life. That part of my personality is just another thing I've worked on over the years.

I think highly of myself as a person in general, but I know from experience that women my age aren't often attracted to me sexually or romantically. Just trying to figure out what to do about that.

First off all you need to stop putting yourself down. Your only lowering your self confidence which is a definite turn off. You need to be yourself and not try to change yourself for some girl. If she does not like you then it's her loss she could be missing out on a great guy like yourself.

ehh, it could be worse, you could have women 3-5 years younger than yourself constantly trying to get ya to ask them out and s**t. If they were my age, id go with the flow. Why do I have to look younger than I am by far.

see, thats negativity even though the cause of it to some could definately be a positive (depending on ya ask it can be, to some they might think that thinking it is a positive = being a pedo) . and that little blurb is indeed something I experience. I want someone my age, +/- 1 year. but as stated, its usually the ones 3-5 years younger than me that go for me. Yeah, I do have a kind of zone where they have to be MY age. Yet I know people including family members who say I shouldnt restric myself to much like I do, so they constantly point out that the 18yearsish ones out to me. (yeah, age of consent in my state is 16, which it in and of itself is just.... yeah...)

Bro I feel you. I look like I'm about 15 or so. Maybe that's why college girls aren't into me? It would seem such a silly and trivial thing to be the cause of my prolonged loneliness, but perhaps that is indeed the case. I know that I have much better luck attracting younger girls but I can't stand their immaturity so that doesn't help me much.

I can't speak for all girls, but personally I don't go for the buffed-muscles look, I wouldn't care about mild acne and maybe I'd get a bit intimidated if the guy dances better than me. But if he's willing to learn to dance despite some awkwardness I'd find that really cute, and fun too.

gnosis, you sound interesting and intelligent with your piano practice and maths studies. And I don't think your post makes you sound like you're negative about yourself at all.
So I think it's basically a confidence thing, which should ease up with practice - hopefully. Be prepared for rejection but still try to maintain a positive outlook.
And maybe just go for it and see what happens?

Well then again if my head wasn't always so enveloped in math and piano I might have better luck coming off as witty and charming, haha. I realize that as it is I must seem spacey and aloof sometimes. In any case, the verdict in this thread seems to be "don't worry about it too much". Thank you for your encouraging words.

> I'm always looking for a nice girl my age I can have a relationship with and I rarely ever get to the relationship stage and when I do it never lasts long.

I've reread the whole thread, thinking about this situation. It looks like you want the relationship, and who exactly the girl is isn't the most important thing. A girl usually wants to feel she's important to you as an individual if she is to be very interested. I assume you're not looking for superficial crap and to be a makeout artist, or have magical attraction for many people.

You want one person to connect with, yes? If so, in my opinion, you have to try and really connect, really get to know them, appreciate them for who they are, and let them similarly get to know you. Forget about relationships. That concept could be poisoning the here and now, the actual connection with the person. It did for me before I learned. An important relationship seriously comes when you least expect it, blowing your preconceptions out of the water quite often.

Well, good luck.

Hello, my name is Jonathan and I am a physician from Brussels, Belgium. I have acne myself and I know how annoying this skin disease can be. There are numbers of home and natural remedies for mild or moderate form of acne, but if you are a sufferer from severe acne, I would recommend you to visit a dermatologist for a prescription acne medication. He or she will determine what type or form of acne you have and will suggest an acne treatment that fits your needs. Good luck!

Good point!