Aspie guys did this happen to you as teenagers

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ELLCIM
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02 Jul 2006, 12:06 pm

Never happened to me.



gsilver
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02 Jul 2006, 5:31 pm

With all the bullying I recieved, surprisingly very little of it was from people believing that I was gay. I started puberty a little late, but I always had a demonstrated interest in women which avoided that sort of thing for the most part.

All but one of my friends in highschool were female (and two were even interested in me... but I messed that up pretty bad). Aside from the first few years of puberty (when I got fixated on a specific girl... who asked me out before I hit puberty (and I rejected her) then rejected me when I asked her afterward) most of my earlier friends were too. Some of my behavior was often seen as flirtatious even if I didn't intend it to be, which probably helped... but this has occasionally made males think that I was gay in more recent years.


I still generally prefer talking to women over men, mostly because the attraction that exists with women makes them easier to talk to. Also, a good thing about being older is now women generally don't pull the kind of mindgames that they did in high school.
(but I'm now attending a tech school, so I'm not around many women for most of the year)


Unfortunately none of this has translated into a single relationship, date, or even a kiss.



ManErg
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05 Jul 2006, 5:43 pm

Yes, some people did assume that my lack of a girlfriend meant I was gay. Something else that causes an AS male to get depressed - if you really aren't gay, of course. I also hid my desires, although to me it felt (still feels) that my inner self is clearly visible to others. Even now, I hate being in a situation where people are talking crudely or intimately. I guess it's because I just don't share their experience of falling in and out of bed with people as easy as night follows day, so I really don't understand what they're talking about.

The 'accusations' didn't just happen when I was young. Even after having two children, I have an aunt who is so convinced I'm gay that she thinks they can't be mine!


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Slapula
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05 Jul 2006, 6:32 pm

Yeah, people ask me if I'm gay. I just tell them no. I really don't have me problem with them asking. It's the constant worrying about proving that I'm heterosexual that gets on my nerves. So, if I don't act like I want to hump every attractive lady that walks by, that makes me gay? I'm sorry, but that's just stupid.



Enigmatic_Oddity
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06 Jul 2006, 5:06 am

I always felt uncomfortable talking about anything to do with sexual attraction. My friends used to talk about sex every now and then, and about how attractive specific people were. I could never really get into that sort of conversation without feeling awkward. I wouldn't ever say a female was 'hot', they were 'pretty' or 'attractive'. And I tended to intellectualise my own attraction. There was only one other person I knew who did this, and he turned out to be gay. So I can assume that other people also think I could be gay. Also, some people have asked me whether I am gay or not, so I suppose I must give that impression. It doesn't bother me though. People are just curious, and I don't see being called gay as a slur, even though some people think it as such.

Btw Xuincherguixe, I can see how homo, bi, and asexual people get crap from others but what stigma do straight people have to deal with? I am not aware of any stigma that straight people are met with.



MrMark
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07 Jul 2006, 8:17 am

I was routinely called “fa***t” throughout my school years. I understand now that it was an attempt by low-self-esteem NTs to pump themselves up by putting me down, making me one of “Them.” (Us vs. Them, the Evil Others) In fact, I grew up believing that homosexuality was a myth, a name kids called each other in the schoolyard. I mean, after all, women are so… and men are so… why would any man want to… Imagine my surprise when I got to collage and learned the truth. :o



Xuincherguixe
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09 Jul 2006, 10:12 pm

Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
Btw Xuincherguixe, I can see how homo, bi, and asexual people get crap from others but what stigma do straight people have to deal with? I am not aware of any stigma that straight people are met with.

No matter what you are someone is going to hate you for it.

There are many people that will say that you are ammoral if you display any sexuality. (Think religious right). Many of them aren't even too happy about sex in marriage, but grudgingly accept it because it's important for the continuation of the human race.

And if you're straight in a place full of people that get a lot of crap from straight people, they might hate you too because of things other people did.



MrMark
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09 Jul 2006, 10:25 pm

No matter what you are someone is going to love you for it. :heart:



ethamin
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11 Jul 2006, 11:40 pm

MrMark wrote:
No matter what you are someone is going to love you for it. :heart:

So there is hope for me after all... sigh! 8)



Scrapheap
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12 Jul 2006, 12:11 am

Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
Btw Xuincherguixe, I can see how homo, bi, and asexual people get crap from others but what stigma do straight people have to deal with? I am not aware of any stigma that straight people are met with.


Ummmmm........ That's because their straight maaaaaybee???


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ericmc783
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14 Jul 2006, 2:22 am

yeah it happened to me off and on, because i like never had a GF, and i had an unusual voice.



there was probably much more gossiping going on about it than i would ever know, much more that when i ever actually heard someone saying i was gay or a fag. of course, gossiping was how kids at my school made their living.

:roll:



North
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19 Jul 2006, 8:37 pm

newchum wrote:
I wonder if any other aspie guys had this experience in their teens. I have a suspicion a lot of people thought I was homosexual when I was a teenager. Once when I was 14 a bunch of girls showed me a nude picture of Brad Pitt in a magazine, I strongly feel because they thought I was homosexual. In high school no girls ever were more than just polite and friendly with me either, even then I knew a little about non-verbal cues (I learn’t from trial and error).

I think they assumed I was homosexual because of several reasons firstly I had no apparent interest in the opposite sex, secondly I hid my attraction to the opposite sex pretty well, thirdly I was uncomfortable talking about sex in public and fourthly the usual non-verbal issues.

Strangely enough none of the gay guys ever tried to approach me romantically, I strongly suspect because I was extremely weird at that time and was not concerned about fitting in very much.


Ya know, if they actually believed you were gay, I think all the girls would want to hang around you, all the time. Seems to be how it works out in real life, anyway.



YellowBird
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20 Jul 2006, 10:27 am

I was teased by some kids who thought I was gay. I had no female friends, I would only hang out with the few male friends I had.


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Photomaniac89
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28 Jul 2006, 2:42 pm

Starting when I was in first grade, I was constantly referred to by every synonym for homosexual in the English language. It only got worse as I got older, as I was the class genius f with minimal interest in athletics and all girls were completely disinterested in me to a point where most of them wouldn't even hardly talk to me. Then suddenly in 7th grade the girls got the idea that I was the male version of 'Dear Abby' and suddenly I was overhwhelmed by females, but not in the way I would have wished to have been. Rather than charmed by my "unique" personality or attracted by my looks, they were flocking to me in droves to cry on my shoulder about how their boyfriends were abusive/as*holes/cheaters or all of the above and beg me for advice on how to fix their problems, because they knew I would listen and my kind, helping nature would always prevail. My shoulder has been damp ever since then. :evil: But the reaction when I came out and announced my bisexuality to the student body was one of a general 'are you serious?" nature. I guess they were always just trying to yank my chain and were blown away when they found out that everything they'd been calling me all those years was half true.