Bars/clubs not for aspies.

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My boyfriend and I usually go to this bar every Sunday night. It's not too loud and we know the bartender so a lot of our friends go there. I can just relax and drink a little and play silly board games with people. One time we went bar-hopping and one of the places we went to was another club that was crowded and loud, and they had live music. The musician was good but it was just too loud. I started to have a meltdown but didn't know what to do because I didn't want to ruin everyone's good time. But my boyfriend saw me getting quieter and quieter and asked what was wrong, and then he took me outside so I could calm down.

Bars, night clubs, and other establishments that make revenue primarily by serving alcoholic drinks are going to come with an assortment of problems that may vary in severity by the kind of clientele, time of day/week, and your social adaptability. First of all, if you have the social skills typical of someone with Asperger's syndrome, weird things are going to happen if you try to start approaching women; you may get lucky (at least if your goal is pretty much just sex), but you're going to end up dealing with a lot of "drama" in the process: everything from women playing games to drunk people acting like buffoons to thugs who like to start fights. It's not impossible to meet a decent woman at such a place, but there's a lot of crap that goes on.

Sadly, for young people in their twenties, most of socializing seems to revolve around such places/events; otherwise, it's places like churches or college (if you haven't graduated yet). This really does leave us 20-something-year-old aspies in somewhat of a hitch.

not churches, i can tell you that...

i have been in a couple bars and i hated it everything just seemed so free and easy to get like alcohol, which i dislike i think people get carried away with drinking and sometimes get out of control.

Not a bar person at all. When I was younger, I was more into coffee houses (lots of fellow poets and artists at poetry readings).

www.ausgamers.com/forums/general/thread.php/2837252 - 90k

I LOVE bars, especially little hole-in-the-wall dives.

I despise clubs though. Ugh.

I'd never go to a bar alone but I do enjoy a small one in the right company.

I do the bar scene, but I'm not entirely thrilled by it. I tend to go to classier places and/or lower key dive bars. All the wild and crazy spots with 20 something fightstarters and drama queens - pass. Even with where I do go, I haven't gotten anywhere to date. So I'm not sure why I think I got any odds anywhere.

Clubs: can't stand that crap.

I configured a bunch of my personality around approaching women at clubs and partying, and guess what my current girlfriend thinks of me? She said after a while, she figured out that I'm all image. She then proceeded to bandage that statement up by saying I'm good looking enough to get away with it, though. The damage is still done, though. Honestly, all I do is dress well, and to her, I also act as if I'm coolest guy in the room. Getting into the pickup community and subsequently the club/party scene kind of effed me up a bit, but I get laid a ton more now albeit by equally screwed up women.

As for clubs/bars not being a good scene for aspies, I think I'll agree. I don't think I actually have asperger's, though, but rather PDD-NOS, which means I can't really speak for you guys.

if im going to drink I do it at home.
clubs and bars arent my thing

Bars and clubs don't do it for me. Granted, the one time I went to a club, I had a drug reaction between an antidepressant and nicotine (from an hour's worth of secondhand smoke from 3 other people in a small car; I don't smoke) which made me feel a bit spacey, and I really didn't enjoy it.

The only time I'll really go to a bar is if the food is good and usually my parents and some of their friends are going, too. And the ones we do go into, I don't usually see anyone I'd want to go up to.

I love bars and clubs. i need earplugs though.

Bars are more than tolerable for me. I'm in them all the time. But lately I've been going along to clubs with friends, and repeatedly not coping with the clubs once I'm there.