With AS, Does no one want to "give?"

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Yes, of course I would like to give in a relationship. I like making other people happy, and always have done. I consider that as a given, though, when people ask me what I look for in a mate. However, sometimes it can be difficult to know what is considered 'too much' or 'not appropriate' in a particular situation. I'm not talking about discussing sex (ugh), but I do find I restrain myself when it might be better to talk freely.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Let's hope she'll be ready to tell you what's going through her mind one of these days.
She might not have been able to figure out her own emotions. It's never easy, going from friends to lovers.
Is there anything more confusing than love?
Gah!



If it wasn't because I'm ill and dirt poor I'd grab the next plane to NJ! I'm all pro-chilling.
I've never been outside Europe before. Of course I'd had to visit the pharmacist first, to purchase some tranquillizers (flying is serious business!), but even so! NJ've got a lot of fine museums such as the Montclair Art Museum.

I will not be so bold, as to say I'm good at finding potential lovers, if such was the case I wouldn't be single at the moment.
Well, me having given up on dating for a while to be myself, might also contribute to that factor! xD
In my short history with men, they've pretty much just found me through dating sites, book shops, etc.
Personally I've given up trying to understand the game of love. I'll just play (no puns what so ever!) the game, when I find a worthy opponent/partner. If my calculations are correct, I'll meet him in about 3 months. No no - I'm serious!
There seems to be some kind of cycle when it comes to my love life.

When I was 17 I fancied this guy, had my first kiss, nothing more happened to that story.
6 months later I fell in love with this man, who was nuts about me, but in the end, nothing ever became of it.
6 months after that I had my very first boyfriend - we were officially together for 3 months, although it was probably more like 6 months. I broke it off with him 3 months ago.
Do you see the system? xD Which means that I'll find him this summer... But I'm so very unpleasant during the hot months.
He must have a thing for grumpy/pathetic women.

Bah, long post!! !

Thanks.
Hmm, yeah, it is confusing. Never been very confused about my own love, though. I'm pretty simple.

When that obsessive intrest passes and the right now is past tense, is it then possible for aspies to revisit the need/s wanted and actually take the INITIATIVE to fullfill them as part of their giving? Somehow I don't see this happening, I see them sitting back in expectation that the asker will somehow also sense that right now they should ask and perhaps they'll have a shot.

Simple. Well you are a man (as far as I know. ), who can blame you? [/jest jest jest]

We wouldn't be limited to NJ you know... there's NYC like 20 minutes away...


I don't know why love needs to be so much of a game. Personally all the women I have ever felt anything for I met through choral groups, summer theater, or at school... and I only felt attraction after being friends for a while.


You mean there's a woman out there that actually doesn't like beaches and tanning and all that kind of stuff? Why do you have to live in Denmark? lol

In that case, there're only four words worth mentioning: NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY!! !

They'd never get me out of there. Never!


I've never truly understood the whole: "lust at first sight" thing either.
By the way: brave man. I would never participate in any sort of theatre play. They usually take place in front of an audience. With lots of people. Staring people.


Gah, thanks Toad. My reason for disliking the sun is simple: I do not get that neat golden skin colour after sunbathing that most people do. Instead I turn brightly red, before my whiteness returns. That and hot temperatures make me dizzy. I basically survived on ice cream and "koldskål" last summer.
Spend most of the summer on the terrace under the parasol reading. The rest of the holiday was spent with my friends in a holiday hut near the sea. Spring is my all time favourite season!

If I like someone I'll do what it takes to make them happy (as long as it's nothing crazy).
I don't have this deep inner desire to GIVE, but, some people, I do want to help out.
I don't know, I don't really understand myself sometimes.
Maybe I do feel like giving, but don't I recognise it as such, or something.
I do randomly help people out every now and then, or give stuff away. Hm.

Ooo!

I know. It's awesome, in the true meaning of the word.
And it's bleeping huge on the inside with a grand study hall and plenty of books, books, books, books.
We should arrange a viking invasion of New York. Wearing historically incorrect horned helmets of course.

I think giving specifically refers to giving emotional support. I know someone who expects to never give or receive emotional support, when even I know that it's part of any relationship. This same person expects no burdens or inconveniences, and if someone tells her she is unrealistic, she accuses that person of manipulating or guilt-tripping her.

Heh, of course.

If i ever find someone, i plan to do everything i can for them (e.g. making sure i reaffirm my affection in ways that they can understand.) Come to think of it i already give more than i take.

I actually find that I block the audience out. The larger the audience, the easier it is to make everyone's face a blur. I have a much harder time performing for 3 people than I do 3,000 people...

Yeah, I'm pretty much the same way... I also don't get why that golden color is considered so desirable either...

Personally, I like late fall/early winter (before it starts snowing heavily) I spent most of my last summer either sitting at my computer playing video games or doing aforementioned musical theater, along with stuff at my church as usual...

You've ever performed in front of 3,000 people?



Fall is lovely as well. I like the early part of the season better though, when the leaves turn yellow, orange and red. All those sunsetty (is a word now, okay?!) colours. There's a chuch about 600m from my home, on top of a deep valley (looks that way due to the heavy snow of the ice ages, the chuch told us), surrounding by these grand trees. Most of them are located on a private ground though (there's a gorgeous old villa on it, with stained glass windows, three-four floors and a huge garden. Magical!). Anyways; it's beautiful. That's the whole point of this rambling.
The only reason of love the late fall as well is because my birthday is November 6th.

Actually I think the most I have ever performed for is closer to 6,000 to 7,000, although there were about 150-200 people on the stage.

I like early spring in addition to the late fall, as that is when the temperature is just about right for me, as that's when NJ is around 50-60 degrees (of course the US still uses the english system for whatever reason, but in celsius that would be around 10-15 degrees). Any higher and I start sweating, especially when the sun is out.