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GoatOnFire
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03 Apr 2010, 2:15 pm

auntblabby wrote:
i have never been overtly "hit-upon" but the ones i have seen get favorable attention paid to them tended to be at either extreme of being effeminine or hyper-masculine. some are looking to hook-up with twinks, others with macho men/bears. there is some mixing and matching between the two groups.

I'm definitely closer to the macho man/bear type.
Who_Am_I wrote:
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If a gay guy hits on you...


I am extremely surprised. I am obviously female.

Actually this could be another train of discussion right here. Twice before I have been hit on by reputed lesbians, probably just means they are bi.
SamwiseGamgee wrote:
I really don't think 50/50 is a high percentage, gay guys are really flirty in my experience.

That's true that gay guys are more aggressive with me. Whenever a gay guy hits on me I know it right away. Whenever a woman hits on me it takes too long for it to click for me.
Sound wrote:
Although, if your demeanor keeps on broadcasting effeminacy, then you might keep getting hit on. But that's your fault. Mind your posture and walking gait.

The only bit of body language that I know for sure is considered gay is that stereotypical limp wrist thing. I have no idea what would constitute a gay or straight posture or walking gait. I'm not very effeminate in any way that I know of so I don't think this is my problem, but just out of curiosity I would like to know the difference between straight and gay posture and walking gait because the more body language I know, the better.
Sound wrote:
Conversely, maybe introversion behavior, on it's own, might be interpreted more directly as possibly gay, effeminacy or masculinity aside? Some gay folks would probably have to clear that one up for me though...

This is an interesting possibility. I have no idea whether it is valid or not. Someone else will have to clear that up. Is being solitary considered gay in some people's minds?


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Sound
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03 Apr 2010, 3:03 pm

Well, it just seems sorta logical to me (which is, in some ways, inherently flawed, lol).

Our society has so many taboos and such discrimination for being gay that can render people as outcasts. I can see it easily driving a lot of gay folks to introversion...
But then, this is an extremely broad swath, and possibly quite silly. It doesn't take a gay pride parade to show that being gay doesn't necessitate introversion. :lol:



JoelsufBass
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03 Apr 2010, 3:26 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
The only bit of body language that I know for sure is considered gay is that stereotypical limp wrist thing. I have no idea what would constitute a gay or straight posture or walking gait.

more movement in hips/buttocks, running around on tippy-toes, shoulders always more relaxed than normal, 'prancing'...hope that gives u a better idea



irishaspie
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03 Apr 2010, 3:43 pm

these are of course stereotypes and dont cover the majority of gay men, they only really apply for the flamboyant.


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PLA
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04 Apr 2010, 3:46 am

Sound wrote:
Many of the behaviors associated with introversion are commonly interpreted as effeminacy.
So it could be that your reserved behavior in public is what makes you seem effeminate.
Conversely, maybe introversion behavior, on it's own, might be interpreted more directly as possibly gay, effeminacy or masculinity aside? Some gay folks would probably have to clear that one up for me though...

And by "reserved", I mean grouchy and aloof. :P


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0_equals_true
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04 Apr 2010, 5:24 am

Sometimes it can be a location. Like when you go to club or bar that you don't know.



auntblabby
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04 Apr 2010, 5:45 am

Sound wrote:
YIKES! That reminds me of a time when I was at a gay bar, and one of those big-bear kinda guys came up to me out of nowhere, put his arm around me, and YEEK!! ! He was so huge I couldn't help but freak out! But I escaped, so no harm. ;)


i wonder if the bear did it to you just to see the reaction? sorta reminds me of the time i was trying to get some [and failed miserably] on 14th street in washington d.c. [an infamous area where the streetwalkers came out at night], and we were trolling 'round the block in the car when on a street corner while we were stopped for the light, a big mountain of a prostitute reached in through the open passenger-side car window and grabbed my package- and out of sheer frightful deer-fleeing-from-the-wolf instinct, i whipped my midsection sharply to the left, putting my ass right into the face of the driver of the car, and he stomped on the gas, running through the red light to get us the hell out of there! looking in the rear-view mirror the huge harlot and her fellow chippies were all doubled-over in riotous laughter, at our expense.



Sound
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04 Apr 2010, 8:43 am

BWAHAH! Yeah, you're probably right.



alana
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05 Apr 2010, 2:24 am

GoatOnFire wrote:
And I would really appreciate comments from gay guys on here.

The basic question is that if you are not a gay guy but gay guys are hitting on you does that mean you are too effeminate or too masculine or does it even depend on the gay guy who is hitting on you?


I kind of wonder if maybe you are not reading body language and expressions that may be coming at you prior that straight guys might pick up on and respond to in a defensive or disuasive way (again with facial expressions or body language) to let the gay man know they are not interested. Really subtle stuff that you might be missing. That might be all there is to it.



GoatOnFire
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06 Apr 2010, 12:52 am

alana wrote:
I kind of wonder if maybe you are not reading body language and expressions that may be coming at you prior that straight guys might pick up on and respond to in a defensive or disuasive way (again with facial expressions or body language) to let the gay man know they are not interested. Really subtle stuff that you might be missing. That might be all there is to it.

Yes, this is very possible. One of the most frustrating things about social situations is not trying to do something right, but rather not knowing something that you are doing wrong, and there's an awful lot of little things that you can do wrong.


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Thom_Fuleri
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06 Apr 2010, 7:12 am

<-- gay male, so would be flattered and probably interested were he single.

I suspect it might be something to do with the "outcast" vibe. Gaydar isn't a particularly accurate thing, so maybe they're getting false readings from the aspie qualities - after all, both groups need to watch what they do socially, tend not to sit close to other people (it's not common to see two men holding hands, for instance) and can have a tendency to walk or carry themselves differently.

If you're getting a lot of attention from gay men, be flattered and pleased. Your gay male friends will be far more willing to assist with social oddities that baffle you (I've never understood fashion, for instance) and more open about male issues that women can't or won't discuss. They'll also be far less likely to end up leaving your life through starting families and if, in a social situation, a woman expresses interest in you, they'll be utterly uninterested in stealing her away!



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06 Apr 2010, 3:53 pm

Maybe it seems that more gay men than heterosexual women are interested in me because gay men are not as subtle in broadcasting their intentions. It may also be true they pick up on the outcast status and are drawn to that whereas it repulses an NT female.


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07 Apr 2010, 3:18 pm

I'm not sure about that whole "introversion/outcast" theory.

Sure, some men are attracted to the shy type. But there are a lot of extroverted gay men, who get a lot of attention. Being shy and introverted is going to pique the interest of the guys into shy introverted guys, but not gay men, generally.


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07 Apr 2010, 3:21 pm

I hit on a gay guy once when I got drunk, but I didn't know he was gay.


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GoatOnFire
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07 Apr 2010, 4:35 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I hit on a gay guy once when I got drunk, but I didn't know he was gay.

I wonder what would've happened if he was the one who was drunk while you were hitting on him. If he was drunk enough would he have cared that you were a girl.

If so, maybe the cure for homosexuality is alcohol or drugs. :twisted:

Or the cure for heterosexuality... 8O


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SamwiseGamgee
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07 Apr 2010, 6:17 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
I wonder what would've happened if he was the one who was drunk while you were hitting on him. If he was drunk enough would he have cared that you were a girl.

If so, maybe the cure for homosexuality is alcohol or drugs. :twisted:

Or the cure for heterosexuality... 8O

I had a gay friend who would "drink himself straight". Basically, when drinking alcohol, he would make out with a bunch of girls for fun. He always claimed to be 70% gay, 30% straight. Probably because he was drunk 30% of the time :lol:


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