Do you NOT know what being "in love" feels like

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dtoxic
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16 Apr 2010, 10:19 pm

I don't know what it's like.



pumibel
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16 Apr 2010, 10:34 pm

GuyTypingOnComputer wrote:
I recognize this thread is about "romantic love," but when I think of love I think about my children. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I would give up my life in an instant if it was necessary to protect my kids. I have never had comparable feelings about a girl.


I totally agree on that! In fact, I haven't dated for about 8 (going on 9) years now because I just was not going to subject my daughter to meeting a string of men who would come into my life. And it would be that sort of thing because you have to keep trying and dating to find a person to love. I just care more about my daughter than romance. It is totally natural and appropriate to feel more for your offspring than other people. I am glad you brought this up. But for people who don't have kids it is probably very frustrating and disheartening. I feel it too sometimes even if I know that it is better at this point in my life to avoid dating.



sarek
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23 Apr 2010, 7:10 am

I have only felt this 'limerence'(never heard of the word until just now) once in my life, around twentyfive years ago when I was infatuated with a hopelessly unreachable woman.

But true, real love is something else entirely. When I met my gf online(on a support forum, not a dating site) it was obvious from the start that there were very strong feelings between us. In fact all of me recognized that I was in love with her long before my mind accepted the fact.
But the weird thing is, even to this day I have never felt the slightest hint of ' butterflies' Its almost as if what we share does not need that. As if we have altogether skipped that stage entirely.

It took us a while to organise our first date near London. And when we met, that was when I realised the true meaning of that word love. It is entirely different from infatuation or limerence. Instead its that immediate recognition of the other, that immediate sense of being home at last. I am the most nervous guy in the world but once I saw her all anxieties evaporated at once.

But I can write a million words and still not touch on what it truly means. This really is something you have to feel to believe it.


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harry_j_83
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23 Apr 2010, 10:26 am

no not ever been in love

let me tell you all that i feel like a complete and utter moron for never having felt that emotion. i feel completely immature and inexperienced. subsequently, i'm becoming more and more distant with people of my agegroup as i don't know anything on the subject of relationships. i really wish that i could offer some some wise words to people but i don't have any to give.

anyone feel like this?



DavidM
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23 Apr 2010, 11:07 am

I don't know but I bet it doesn't feel as good as ejaculation.



MichelleRM78
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23 Apr 2010, 11:19 am

DavidM wrote:
I don't know but I bet it doesn't feel as good as ejaculation.


Much longer lasting and more fulfilling. It doesn't go away and they you have to try to find it again in an hour. It's just always there, making you feel good.



DavidM
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23 Apr 2010, 11:44 am

MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
I don't know but I bet it doesn't feel as good as ejaculation.


Much longer lasting and more fulfilling. It doesn't go away and they you have to try to find it again in an hour. It's just always there, making you feel good.





Well, I could live without that. I couldn't live without having sex though.

People who obsess about dating, romance and love ruin it for people who just want to exercise their normal, healthy instincts.

I hate those kinds of people.



CockneyRebel
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23 Apr 2010, 1:19 pm

I don't know what it feels like, because I've never personally met a man, worth being in love with. There's no telling what the future holds.


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MichelleRM78
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23 Apr 2010, 1:22 pm

DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
I don't know but I bet it doesn't feel as good as ejaculation.


Much longer lasting and more fulfilling. It doesn't go away and they you have to try to find it again in an hour. It's just always there, making you feel good.





Well, I could live without that. I couldn't live without having sex though.

People who obsess about dating, romance and love ruin it for people who just want to exercise their normal, healthy instincts.

I hate those kinds of people.


HUH? It is instinct to search for companionship and to want to take care of someone. Sex is not the only instinct.



sarek
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23 Apr 2010, 3:09 pm

DavidM wrote:
I don't know but I bet it doesn't feel as good as ejaculation.


Its much better. So much better. Being with my gf is almost continuous ecstasy even when we are not having sex at all and are simply holding each other.
And even when I am not with her, which is most of the time because she lives in London, simply knowing that she is there in my life already makes me happy and much better able to deal with everyday life.


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phil777
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23 Apr 2010, 10:34 pm

I've read somewhere that there is erotic love and cognatic love (which is devoid of erotic love, mostly). If i had to guess, i'd say i have mostly cognatic love. =/



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24 Apr 2010, 2:04 am

phil777 wrote:
I've read somewhere that there is erotic love and cognatic love (which is devoid of erotic love, mostly). If i had to guess, i'd say i have mostly cognatic love. =/


Then my love is sadistic.



DavidM
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24 Apr 2010, 2:48 am

I had a London girlfriend who moved to Morocco. Almost as soon as she arrived she started banging some other guy. As soon as a man loses the power to physically touch his woman, she will be led astray into the arms of a man who can service her real needs. Alas! :(



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24 Apr 2010, 5:41 am

Moog wrote:
A Limerick About Limerance

There once was a guy name of Blabby
who thought that he loved very madly
imagine the surprise
when before his eyes
it turned out it was only strong fancy

That's terrible. I'm still posting it. Otherwise it'd be a minute of my life wasted.


that was in fact pretty keen for a spur-of-the-moment thing, much better than i could have arranged. or maybe it is a matter of english folk having better schooling than yanks? or at least this yank :? here's a jejune haiku submitted for your approval:

moog knows about love-
not merely brotherly shove-
but of stars above.


3 rhyming lines is about my limit. :?



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24 Apr 2010, 6:31 am

auntblabby wrote:
Moog wrote:
A Limerick About Limerance

There once was a guy name of Blabby
who thought that he loved very madly
imagine the surprise
when before his eyes
it turned out it was only strong fancy

That's terrible. I'm still posting it. Otherwise it'd be a minute of my life wasted.


that was in fact pretty keen for a spur-of-the-moment thing, much better than i could have arranged. or maybe it is a matter of english folk having better schooling than yanks? or at least this yank :? here's a jejune haiku submitted for your approval:

moog knows about love-
not merely brotherly shove-
but of stars above.


3 rhyming lines is about my limit. :?


I'd forgotten I'd written that! Thanks mate... good haiku!

As for my schooling - I never let it get in the way of my education. :wink:


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Niapri
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24 Apr 2010, 12:01 pm

I've read about it, and I can psych myself out enough to imitate the feelings you're supposed to have, but...no, I've never felt it genuinely. I've found I'm just not a romantic person - what appeals to me about a romantic relationship is the friendship aspect of it, the idea that there's one person to whom you've made a commitment, and who's responded in kind. I used to try and make myself care about relationships, but at this point, I think I've experienced enough that I can say I'm just not interested in that kind of relationship. I mean, I'm the only person I know who's never once had a broken heart, and I have difficulty understanding the concept of caring so much about someone that you're that upset when the relationship ends.

I do have a version of love, though; I can feel really, really intense affection for close friends and family (and pets!), that can only be expressed by massive hugs and thoughtful presents. I also get crushes, but to be honest, it's usually something more akin to admiration. And I have this weird thing where, when I see someone I find attractive, I tend to just stare because I like to look at them.

The problem is that the affection, crush, and attraction components seem to be completely disconnected - yet one more part of the reason I feel like a bit of a freak in social situations. :roll: And I make light of it, but it's not something I talk about to normal folk, because when you say that you don't feel love, they tend to find that disturbing - a sign that, "Wow, there's something really wrong with this person."

This is one area in which I wish I were normal more than any other area.