Showing interest

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Every time I've liked a girl I can never manage give her any idea how I fell about her. People's advice to me has always been to just be brave and go for it, but my problem has never had anything to do with fear. I just have no idea how to show that I'm interested in a way that isn't going to creep her out, like saying, " I REEALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU!! !!" or, "I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU!! !" So how is someone supposed to show interest without being overly obvious and creepy?

It's completely inevitable that any aspie to get married will find a spouse interested in weird people that are generally very devoted. Also likely that they have little social life, considering many aspies act as Cynide to social relationships.

Okay, here's what I do sometimes. (I'm glad you jogged my memory. I'm meeting a lot of interesting women on my new job and I need to be talking to some of them. I was out of the game for 15 years and I need to refresh my skills.) You see a beautiful woman across the room and you'd like to talk to her but you feel very nervous and shy. The non-verbals (you've studied those, right?) suggest she'd like you to go talk to her. So go tell her that. Tell her you saw her and you think she's beautiful and you wanted to talk to her but you're nervous and shy and you don't know what to say and you stumble and st-st-stammer... Women (the women we like) like it when you're able to be open and honest and just be you're awkward self. (I think.) If you're okay with who and how you are, there's a much better chance she will be too. Remember, you're going to talk to scores, maybe hundreds of women in your life. You're going to develop emotionally intense relationships with only a handful of them. Hopefully it will be with the ones who like you the way you really are, warts and all.

That method is too inclusive. The wooing process should be exclusive and take out anyone that you wouldn't want to date. For example, I find a girl that I like, forced to talk to her once during group work. I get what I can out of that conversation and when I see her at lunch, I instantly start a conversation about politics. 90% of people would be aghast at my political views and/or have no idea what I was talking about. She knew full well what I was talking about, and moreover agreed with my political views. As such, I am nearing a relationship.

It's just a starting point. It's intended to be inclusive.

Thanks for the advice, but I was actually talking about girls that I already know rather than approaching strangers. What I really want to know is how do you let a weird girl with similar interests to your own know that you want to be more than just friends?

I'm not sure I can be of much help. I usually go for the blunt approach: "Hey, I'm madly in love with you!" or wait until the girl in question takes the initiative herself.

The blunt approach, incidentally, never worked.

Look her in the eyes and smile.
If she doesn't smile and/or look back, there's a 90 percent she's not interested.
If she does look to you and smile in return, there's at least a 60 percent chance that she is interested.
It's that simple.

Don't forget the mirroring also. Another tip is to show enough interest to make her think"think does he like me or doesn't he "

I kinda messed up in regards to this yesterday.

There was a very pretty girl sitting with a group. She was looking at me and smiling at me (and also doing the hair touch thing, which I have read is signaling interest). During the conversation, I told her that she was cute. After that, all signs of interest disappeared completely, and she tried to avoid any conversation for the duration.

I also (quite bluntly) asked a rather weird (not that pretty, but very interesting) girl for a date. She immediately accepted.


I guess that sublty is required with most people, but for some being blunt works very well.

Ok, I've done that with the current girl that I like. She smiles back at me and she'll also smile at me out of nowhere when we're eating together with a group of friends. I'm pretty sure she's not interested in me though, because every time I ask to do something with her she always invitess other people to come along. I guess I'll just do something stupid like try to kiss her, and if that ruins our friendship I don't care because if she never wants to be anything more than friends with me I'd rather not see her at all.