Aspie's getting together with ADHDers?

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Do you think this happens often? It seems like a logical ying/yang sort of parring. I'm in a relationship with someone with classic ADHD and I find she's more than willing to be my social front person (she can ingratiate herself with anyone in a matter of minutes and has zero social fear), in exchange I take care of the details and technical things that she misses. Now of course my need for sameness, quite and calm does often clash with her need for constant noise, newness and distraction.

What about those of us with potential AS and ADHD... (well I think I have the innatentavie sort...) It's quite common I think...

What you offer sounds like a good pairing. As long as the personalities/lifestyles don't clash that much...

I have AS and ADHD... I don't go into relationships looking for compatible diagnostic labels. It's the person's personality I look at more.

I think I'd prefer compatibility at
home, rather than someone capable
of handling the external world for
me.

Well, ADHD is on the spectrum, but the pairing you describe does sound mutually beneficial. Though not all ADDers are extroverts. And many aspies have ADD--like me. I'm dx'd ADHD-inattentive type, and I would LOVE to find someone who'd be willing to organize my life. On the flip side, I've been told that there are a lot of aspies who are actually quite disorganized, when it comes to mundane everyday stuff. I fall into that category.

How did this become all about me?

Carry on then...

Hey, I'm exactly the same... with the ADHD inattentive AS.

I don't do the social stuff, I don't organize stuff... ah I am quite the catch.

It's a LOT easier to organize someone
else's existence, than your own.

Well I'd say "organized" is a relative term. I'm somewhat disorganized because I only like doing what interests me and usually that doesn't involve organizing (or sometimes I'm to depressed to organize). However my G.F. who is ADHD is disorganized for a different reason. She just sets stuff down and forgets about it, the minute something new comes into her head off she goes leaving whatever she was doing wherever she drops it (sometimes literally). She really doesn't mind complete chaos all around her, while I find it very calming to have things put away and surfaces clear. Adderall helps her a lot however and when she's well medicated she can really get things done.

I just read a book called 'It's All Too Much', that's really helped us with getting organized. The basic premise is that people get disorganized because they just hang on to (and buy) too much stuff, so much that you just can't organize it all. You have to look at why your holding onto 1/2 done hobby projects and keep sakes packed in boxes in the garage and be honest about it, and usually just get rid of it. It's been a huge mental relief to just dump stuff.

I think I have AS and/or ADD inattentive, and there is this cute girl at work with ADHD (hyperactive) with alot of other problems that wants to go out with me. Problem is, she is on the go all the time and can't concentrate on one person or thing for too long, and is into alot of crap (drugs, beer, partying,women) because of her past experiences. In one way, I think we could help each other out with our problems, but in another, I think the differences might be too great.

I have AS with definite ADHD-inattentive tendencies, and my husband is classic ADHD. We get along well because we view life in the same way and enjoy doing the same things. But his hyperactivity can irritate me because of my sensory issues, and he gets very frustrated by my problems with communication and emotional reciprocity.

Well I can't answer your question of whether or not this is common but I think my ex is ADHD.
I no longer like her one bit after the break-up... logic tells me she probably isn't all that bad a person, but is just a kid with big issues... but all the pain she put me through tells me to hate her... lol

I'm curious... where does ADHD fit into this spectrum? It's very different from AS and Autism.

Yes indeed.

Um, actually, there are a lot of shared symptoms:

inattentiveness, hyperfocus (for some ADHD subtypes), impulsiveness (including saying the first thing that comes to mind, regardless of how un-diplomatic or painfully honest it may be), problems making/keeping friends or other social problems, racing thoughts, high creativity, problems with abstract concepts, heightened sensitivity (both emotional and sensory), executive functioning, issues with time...and then of course there are the comorbids--anxiety, depression, sometimes anger/violence/ODD, low self-esteem, relationship woes...

Not everyone with ADHD or AS has all of these symptoms, but they're very common in both.

That damned skinny pre-frontal cortex strikes again!

Do a google search of something like {ADHD "Autism Spectrum" cortex} and you'll prolly get more answers.

Even though the last post was dated in 2007, I want to comment on this subject.

I am currently engaged to be married in April 2011 with a person with ADHD.

I probably have AS & been diagnosed as ADHD. Years ago I was in an internet relationship with a girl who had extremely bad ADHD. She was kind of introverted & spent a lot of time online so not all people with ADHD are extroverted. I actully thought her ADHD stuff was funny & extremely cute

Whilst undiagnosed, my husband has AS and I potentially have some form of ADHD, ADD. If we were at school now I'm sure we would both have been diagnosed but instead I just "never paid attention and seemed distracted but was very sociable" my husband "lacked social skills but shined in certain subjects" They were comments from the same teacher.

We have always felt a ying/yang feel to our relationship, and we compliment each other in different ways. I admit the clashes can happen but you learn how to deal with them.

Oops, just seen this thread was from 2007.