Is it common....

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I think this is broarder than just romantic relationships. Actually I don't think, I know.

yeah, i guess it is. i used to all the time then taught myself not to get attached so much because it will just end up hurting worst in the end.
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This is why I would rather a fellow aspie similar to myself. (Female of course.)

speaking of which, do you ladies prefer aspie or NT?
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axelkat: i don't think i could deal with an nt.

I invariably become obsessed with the object of my affections. It doesn’t seem to be something I can change and it feels natural to be this way. When I have feelings for a woman, I constantly think of her and she never leaves my thoughts for more than a few minutes. Withholding my feelings has also been difficult. I as well have committed the mistake of blurting out my most private thoughts and feelings prematurely. Since this has never yielded a positive result and has only brought rejection, I have had to learn some restraint. I somewhat understand the ideas of ‘being hard to get’ and manipulating sexual tension. However, I have no intention of ever acting in such a manner, as I find it repulsive. For myself to act that way would be just that: an act. I am who I am and desire to be loved for who I am, warts and all. Personally, I would be quite turned off if a woman wanted me to act like a neo-Romeo fresh from the self-help aisle of the local bookstore. Perhaps someday I will again encounter one as forthright as myself, who indulges only in limited courtship games. These persons do exist, they are the type I have had relationships with in the past.

Romantic obsessions have been both positive and negative in my life. For instance, I remain obsessed with and attached to a woman long after the relationship is over. Because of this, I have never found the ability to ‘move on’ without having someone else to ‘move on’ to. Becoming involved in another relationship has been the only way to ‘cure’ my obsession with the last. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, as some believe.

In my current life, I am still obsessing over and dissecting incidents and behavior from a relationship that ended over a decade ago. In one way, this is positive: I am attempting to learn from my past mistakes and become a better person who is more capable of sustaining a fulfilling, long-term relationship. In another way, it is harmful: Continuous obsessing on lost loves is a painful experience and has led to my feeling at times depressed, shameful, and guilt ridden.

Obsession is so much a part of my character, I cannot think of being free of it.

obsessions are artificial friends. not as good as the real thing but just fine for the time being.
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I've had a few obsessions. I got rejected by my first. I thought persistance solved all problems, so for all of 7th grade I asked out the same person everyday. It didn't work. All the ones after that were friends that I've been afraid to approach. Poetry helped me get the thoughts out of my head, but after being obsessed after a month or two, I now become less obsessive.

Hmmmm...I am an awful lot like Synchro. I realize that playing hard to get and hiding one's feelings is the "normal" way to do things, but I don't want to play those games, and I don't want to be with someone who expects me to. Likewise with the obsessive aspect...

With other obsessional areas, I have had dry spots...where I wasn't obsessed. I felt very empty and almost desperate for somethign interesting to becoem obsessed with again. When I'm caught up in an obsession, I feel alive, invigorated. My mind has something to focus on. Otherwise, it becomes a messy tangle of assorted thoughts.

I do get obsessed with my crushes, and i'ts not all that easy. I loose interest in anyone besides the person in my focus at the time. Usually it lasts for years, but sometimes for shorter periods too. The scary part is that I know so well, and I see all the "wrong" things I do, like not playing hard to get and so on, but unable to do something about it. And people tell me to stop thinking about this person, and I want to myself too, but it feels impossible.
Some men may be very pleased with this situation, but if they incurrage something without meaning it seriosly, it can cause a lot of difficult feelings.