I want justice.

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Fine. Let me just ignore his other bullsh*t stories too.

-Lies about watching films and missing me on MSN while he was on the computer.
-Asking me when I'd turn 18, and after that talking to me much more.
-Making a lot of sexual comments after we met irl on MSN.

By the way, he didn't change his mind about a film a particular night, it was every night.

Furthermore, there is no evidence at all that he was telling the truth. All he basically talked about after we met was sex, with some comments about love in between.

So the core of your objection is that he lied. Have you been lied to before? How did you cope with it then? How will you cope in the future? Is there such as thing as lie that is not a moral crime?

I ask these questions because your reaction is far stronger than what is typical. Most would feel neutral, or only slighty upset. Your feeling is that a serious "moral crime" has been committed.

That is also why we encouraged you to ask yourself why you feel this way. Normally we would think that there is more to the story to explain this want for justice. Normally it would suggest you have been hurt by this man, or you have been hurt by some other male in the past.

The alternative is that you are intolerant of lying and this moral outrage is typical whenever you are presented with untruth. Is that so, Creature?

I understand your reasons to feel upset and cheated. I've gone through similar situations which made me not want to use online dating as a good source for connecting people. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it works great with some people but I have trouble looking for "redflags" and other cues so to speak that I've heard both many NT men and women warn me about. I remember one guy telling me he was 24, turns out when I met him he was about 40. Not that I try making age a huge discrimination but I was about 18 and he lied big time. He told me that he wasn't sure I'd like him if he had told me his age which was in his 40s. I was so mad, not because so much his age but his lie. It was then I really believed the interent was full of creeps and when I say the word creeps I mean older guys going after "naive" young girls. Believe me I know what it's like. However the guy didn't rape me or prey on me so to speak. However he did lead me into this trap of feeling guilty. You know when you choose your romantic partners there has to be some relevance of attraction and it was like he was using my lack of attraction as an excuse for not wanting to go out with him.


Anyhow, I think what this guy did was wrong. But I see nothing in your post that indicates he tried to rape you or anything that was beyond your control. It took me some years to really understand that women don't need to sit around and accept a guy for misleading them. BTW, yes I think this guy took advantage of you but not in a way that would "morally" hurt you. You just move on and learn from this experience. I've known men who have also run into women who lied about their ages and life circumstances and you know what, just like us, some handle and some don't. My brother as much as I disagree with him, he did help me understand that I wasn't useless or evil for rejecting men whom I didn't take interest in. You need to know this as well. There are many people out that yes, will lie. Some lie not because they don't find you attractive or want to get in your pants but because they're trying to impress you. That is a human instinct I think in all of us.

So stop holding onto this guy. Learn what redflags were there and just move on. And don't feel like you don't have sympathy, many posters including me show much sympathy toward your feelings. It's hard and yes you were taken advantage of, just not dangerously. This guy is socially inept and in some ways I can identify with him as bad as that sounds. I think we all are, it's just a question of how far is too far when putting the other person in pain.

Love and regards.

You seem to be focusing strongly on his "intent" and that his actions constitute a moral crime based on his intent to cause harm. However, im not sure you understand his intent enough to come to that conclusion. His intent (in my opinion) is pretty clearly a selfish desire to have sex with someone else and he disregards other people's feelings. However that is NOT an intent to cause harm, he simply does not care if he does or not.

If the only reason he was doing this, was simply to ruin people's lives, I would put more weight into your "moral crime" argument, but as I see it, his only crime is selfishness, something that I am positive everyone on this forum, and in the world is guilty of.

Well i want a large pizza with everything on it