Weddings...how to you feel about them?
Hopeless_Hearts_Marie
Snowy Owl
Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 131
Location: Iowa USA
I was a wedding photographer for 20 years and became cynical about the whole thing.
Some girls go nuts about being "a bride" whatever that is.
They spend an entire year before the wedding planning to make it "perfect" but it never is.
They are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on their "big day"
You must rent a fleet of limos to take you to the church. Really? Why? Don't you own cars?
You must wear a $3000 dress. Why?
Then you allow several hours for photography between the wedding and the reception.
You want pictures of "the bride" running down a beach.
Why would you run down a beach on your wedding day?
When my wife and I got married we had a small service in a local church. I wore a suit and my wife wore her best dress.
We didn't bother with a "best man" or "groomsmen" or "bridesmaids"
Afterwords we and about a dozen of a dozen of our friends went to a local restaurant for dinner and a few drinks.
That was good enough for us.
Well, it depends on what you define marriage as. I feel no need for and state or church to sanctify my commitment to my partner. However, I would like to have a small, simple commitment ceremony for close friends and family. Because if I'm going to be monogamous with someone long term (possibly for life), things aren't always going to be easy, and knowing that we've both made a commitment to one another and that we're on the same page with that commitment will be reassuring. Also, if I decide that I want to spend forever with someone, I'd love to share it with close friends and family.
I've been to FOUR weddings this year so far and I have at least 3 more to attend, the more I go to, the more I wish I was that in love and the more pressured I feel to be that committed to someone because I'm getting older. I'm also finding that they're expensive and make people's brains explode because things inevitably go wrong with the planning...while I want some kind of unconventional ceremony/get together, I sure as hell don't want to plan it, lol.
-Biz
CMaximus
Deinonychus
Joined: 3 Nov 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 387
Location: Calgary, AB, Canada, Earth
Don't care about marriage at all and I certainly don't want to get married. The idea that marriage is something you "Must Do" in order to be happy is less the objective fact some people attempt to portray it as and more an idea imposed on us by society/religion generation after generation. I don't mind that some people feel that from a personal standpoint, they need it to be happy, but it annoys me when people start talking out of their a*s and act like a piece of paper, a ring and the threat of alimony payments necessarily makes you any more dedicated to making things work than I am, which is a notion that has always offended me and always will. If you love somebody, married or not, you'll be incredibly committed to making things work out (The only people who'd deny this are people who have an agenda for denying it; IE, a desire to make themselves feel superior due to their lifestyle choices.) . The only difference between me and somebody who gets married is that if my best efforts to keep the relationship fail, I don't want to have to make large payments because things didn't work out, become bitter to my ex (As divorce often makes people), and have to subject her and myself to unnecessary heartaches brought on by excessive and (IMO) unnecessary litigation.
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