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Xenu
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29 Jun 2010, 1:50 am

so I am talking to a friend on Skype. We are pretty good friends and are almost exactly alike and she has talked about this guy she likes for a while and his girlfriend and i was ok with that but this chat seemed odd... and was wondering if you could help cause I am not sure if she is trying to send me some hidden signal or just talking in general.


[11:28:42 PM] Mick Mick: i'm pissed off to say the least.
[11:28:49 PM] Mick Mick: But yeah
[11:28:50 PM] caleb: yeah
[11:28:57 PM] caleb: you need to cheer you up lol
[11:29:12 PM] Mick Mick: Hm...having a boyfriend would be a plus right now haha
*me trying to change the subject for a while because idk what to say*
[11:33:55 PM] Mick Mick: Mhm
[11:34:13 PM] Mick Mick: Well, it isn't so much that is that I miss having a boyfriend ;/
[11:34:31 PM] Mick Mick: I am chasing a guy that I doubt will dump his girlfriend for me any time soon...
[11:34:47 PM] Mick Mick: I want to just find someone and connect with them
[11:34:53 PM] Mick Mick: it would cheer me up.
[11:34:56 PM] caleb: ah
[11:35:37 PM] Mick Mick: Yeah. S**t sucks,yo.
[11:35:41 PM] caleb: yep
*I try to change the subject more*
[11:38:45 PM] Mick Mick: Hm,
[11:38:48 PM] Mick Mick: your a guy..
[11:38:56 PM] Mick Mick: what is the absolute way to a guys heart
[11:38:59 PM] Mick Mick: ;o
[11:39:05 PM] caleb: hm
[11:39:21 PM] caleb: idk honestly
[11:39:30 PM] caleb: I am too socially unaware of that to know lol
[11:39:45 PM] Mick Mick: Like, what would make you fall in love with a girl? Like you personally
[11:40:44 PM] caleb: me personally? hm well similar interests, not judgemental and tolerant of people but able to handle jokes and laugh at them. A vibrant personality
[11:40:48 PM] caleb: but not overly hyper
[11:40:54 PM] caleb: that kind of stuff i guess
[11:41:04 PM] Mick Mick: Damnit...I have shown Him ALL of that
[11:41:13 PM] caleb: ah
[11:41:18 PM] caleb: well all guys are different
[11:41:21 PM] caleb: so idk
[11:42:04 PM] Mick Mick: I swear... me and him would be dating already if she wouldnt have ever been in the picture.
[11:42:13 PM] Mick Mick: He fell for me when I was dating his now ex best friend
[11:42:22 PM] Mick Mick: and same with me for him
[11:42:22 PM] caleb: ah
[11:42:46 PM] Mick Mick: He says I am the only one who has ever made him question his relationship
[11:43:17 PM] caleb: oh
[11:43:44 PM] caleb: why don't you say well something along the lines of "is that a good thing"
[11:43:44 PM] Mick Mick: Yeah. Sucks cause now I don't think I can find someone who can relate with me this well.
[11:43:48 PM] caleb: or something
[11:43:59 PM] Mick Mick: I did.
he said he was unsure
[11:44:45 PM] caleb: oh
[11:45:09 PM] Mick Mick: Yeah :/
[11:45:26 PM] caleb: hm
[11:45:35 PM] caleb: hey well i have to get up early in the morning
[11:45:40 PM] caleb: i have a job interview
[11:45:42 PM] caleb: for best buy
[11:45:46 PM] Mick Mick: Oh okay cool
[11:45:47 PM] caleb: so ill ttyl
[11:45:49 PM] Mick Mick: ttyl
[11:45:50 PM] caleb: ok night



Vindi
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29 Jun 2010, 2:02 am

She's just talking in general, and about a particular guy that I assume isn't you, as evidenced by:

[11:42:04 PM] Mick Mick: I swear... me and him would be dating already if she wouldnt have ever been in the picture.
[11:42:13 PM] Mick Mick: He fell for me when I was dating his now ex best friend
[11:42:22 PM] Mick Mick: and same with me for him

Unless you have a girlfriend, and she used to date your ex-best-friend.

But you never know, there isn't enough context to determine if she is hinting for you to hit on her.



Xenu
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29 Jun 2010, 2:09 am

Vindi wrote:
She's just talking in general, and about a particular guy that I assume isn't you, as evidenced by:

[11:42:04 PM] Mick Mick: I swear... me and him would be dating already if she wouldnt have ever been in the picture.
[11:42:13 PM] Mick Mick: He fell for me when I was dating his now ex best friend
[11:42:22 PM] Mick Mick: and same with me for him

Unless you have a girlfriend, and she used to date your ex-best-friend.

But you never know, there isn't enough context to determine if she is hinting for you to hit on her.


hm yeah I guess I was confused as to why she kept pushing the boyfriend topic. over and over. And saying things like
"[11:28:57 PM] caleb: you need to cheer you up lol
[11:29:12 PM] Mick Mick: Hm...having a boyfriend would be a plus right now haha"

and "[11:34:13 PM] Mick Mick: Well, it isn't so much that is that I miss having a boyfriend ;/
[11:34:31 PM] Mick Mick: I am chasing a guy that I doubt will dump his girlfriend for me any time soon...
[11:34:47 PM] Mick Mick: I want to just find someone and connect with them
[11:34:53 PM] Mick Mick: it would cheer me up. "


"[11:38:45 PM] Mick Mick: Hm,
[11:38:48 PM] Mick Mick: your a guy..
[11:38:56 PM] Mick Mick: what is the absolute way to a guys heart
[11:38:59 PM] Mick Mick: ;o
[11:39:05 PM] caleb: hm "

"[11:43:44 PM] Mick Mick: Yeah. Sucks cause now I don't think I can find someone who can relate with me this well."

I also didn't understand her excessive use of winky faces when asking me those kinds of questions
but idk I am probably looking much too into this.



susiewho
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29 Jun 2010, 2:20 am

talking...what's the point?



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29 Jun 2010, 2:24 am

Xenu wrote:
so I am talking to a friend on Skype. We are pretty good friends and are almost exactly alike and she has talked about this guy she likes for a while and his girlfriend and i was ok with that but this chat seemed odd... and was wondering if you could help cause I am not sure if she is trying to send me some hidden signal or just talking in general.



My Vulcan mind wonders....
Why would she try to indicate she has romantic interests in you by first stating her romantic interests in this other boy?

So I would conclude she is not interested in you romantically and was just trying to get advice from you on how to attract this other boy.

On a somewhat unrelated subject, I'm alarmed that she would pursue someone who is already in a relationship and seems to take pride in her ability to undermine the integrity of someone elses relationship. This behavior is not only harmful to others but herself as well and she should stop doing it.



Seanmw
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29 Jun 2010, 3:06 am

sounds to me, like she's just venting her troubles to you in a regular "friend" sort of way.
I've done that before with other lady friends of mine: just vented about a particular love interest because i wanted some female perspective on things.
just as she could just have talked about that with you hoping to get some male perspective or supportive comments on her predicament.

if she's hinting anything, i just don't see it.
though you could try being assertive and ask her out anyways; see what comes of it.


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29 Jun 2010, 3:29 am

[11:39:45 PM] Mick Mick: Like, what would make you fall in love with a girl? Like you personally
[11:40:44 PM] caleb: me personally? hm well similar interests, not judgemental and tolerant of people but able to handle jokes and laugh at them. A vibrant personality
[11:40:48 PM] caleb: but not overly hyper
[11:40:54 PM] caleb: that kind of stuff i guess
[11:41:04 PM] Mick Mick: Damnit...I have shown Him ALL of that
[11:41:13 PM] caleb: ah
[11:41:18 PM] caleb: well all guys are different


Hard one, could be either way, that she just wznts to figure out what guys like, asking you. Waht I do find interesting is that you named what you find good, and that she replies saying she did exactly that. I wouldn't know. I suggest you wait for a while, to see her attitude and behavior towards you, that should soon enough teach you if this is just friendship or not.


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Asp-Z
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29 Jun 2010, 7:18 am

Sounds like she's just asking for your help as a friend.



Tias
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29 Jun 2010, 7:45 am

I dont know what you feel towards her, but the instant she begins talking another guy and how she likes him, you've fallen into the "friend zone" and will be pretty much stuck in there : /

And back on topic, she is just talking in general/venting that she can't be with the guy she wants to, because someone else is there.



Xenu
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29 Jun 2010, 1:50 pm

Ah Okay. Was just making sure. thanks.



deadeyexx
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29 Jun 2010, 2:19 pm

Actually, I think she is leaving you the opportunity to ask her to do something with you. What that will turn into (if anything), who knows? But if you were looking to make something happen, this would be a good time.



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29 Jun 2010, 2:38 pm

OP, she's not hinting that you should ask her out - she's just obsessing over this other guy. That's what we girls do every so often when we're hooked on a guy - we talk about them to anyone who will listen, at length, with total disregard for the listener's boredom or anything else. You were just a sounding board for her.

For what it's worth, I don't know if her interest in this guy is really an indication that she lacks character for attempting to "undermine" this man's relationship - although I can understand how one might interpret her actions that way. From my perspective, I wouldn't expect the same level of respect for a bf/gf relationship that I would for an engagement or marriage. Engagement and marriage should command respect from those outside the relationship, because they reflect a commitment from both partners. However, bf/gfs are just dating - no commitment assumed. While I think it's always best to end a monogamous bf/gf relationship before dating another person (cheating is just hurtful and unnecessary), it seems that is the standard these two are living up to: these two are clearly not cheating.


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nick007
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29 Jun 2010, 2:47 pm

I don't want to disappoint you OP but I have lots of chats like that with women & they ALWAYS turn me down whenever I suggest me & them hook up


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