How do I spot "potential Aspies"

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Tim_Tex
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06 Jun 2006, 8:06 pm

I am trying to find a mate who has AS, but finding one in Houston is virtually impossible. Although I am willing to try a long-distance relationship (I've had one before), I would prefer somebody in the southeast Texas/southwest Louisiana area.

If I can't find another Aspie, how do I spot undiagnosed people with possible aspie characteristics? What kinds of things would they be interested in? What other signs should I look for?

If anybody has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,

Tim



wobbegong
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06 Jun 2006, 9:10 pm

Tim Tex

If you can find and meet aspie blokes - have a good look at their sisters - since it runs in families. Women tend to learn a lot more masking behaviours than men, so it may be harder to spot them.

Look for stuff like an extreme and passionate/time consuming interest in something, could be anything. Horses, A pop star, sewing, fairies, gardening, cooking - are acceptable feminine things to passionate about. However I was also interested in sailing, field hockey, collecting stuff, sci fi novels and computers. Though women into the techy stuff are still few. If you find a woman that is extremely passionate about something not traditionally seen as feminine - she might be aspie. She may also come across as shy and awkward and uncomfortable with romantic attention. And if she's anything like me she will have a gift for putting her foot in it and saying just the wrong thing at the wrong time and deeply offending a person with an insensitive truth. So if a woman deeply offends you by pointing out something true about you, consider that she might not know she offended you and seek clarification. You will have to take into account that you too will probably deeply offend her for no reason you can figure out.

I think these women may also feel a lot more comfortable in the company of animals than people (I know I do) so you may find them at the local horse club (show jumping, dressage etc) or dog club or cat club etc. She may be the one that everyone else goes to for advice but is seen as just a little bit eccentric or weird. Unless fashion is an interest of hers, she probably will be dressed for comfort not to look good.



unclenutcracker
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10 Jun 2006, 1:14 am

wobbegong wrote:
Unless fashion is an interest of hers, she probably will be dressed for comfort not to look good.


I have to agree with this. Don't even try with the girl who are all dressed up in some stylish manner. About 99 times out of 100 you will be shot down. Girls who have a "scene" (chic) look are also a problem because they are normally boring, shallow NTs. Look for a little eccentricity; this could be manifested in a mis-match of style (a girl with the bohemian look but crazy wierd chav jewelry or something) or just occasion inappropriate attire (thongs at a rock concert or such).



Enigmatic_Oddity
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10 Jun 2006, 4:30 am

unclenutcracker wrote:
Don't even try with the girl who are all dressed up in some stylish manner. About 99 times out of 100 you will be shot down. Girls who have a "scene" (chic) look are also a problem because they are normally boring, shallow NTs.


This statement is shallower than the people you criticise.



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10 Jun 2006, 5:34 am

wobbegong you just described my aspie daughter lol. but not horses just dogs.

Are there any local aspie groups you could attend and as has been suggested look at the guys sisters.
In this house the shallow girls are called handbag wavers, these are the fashionable clothed and they talk about gossip mainly. these are the ones to avoid.
But the woman who dresses for comfort not style, has a passion for something and talks like you with pedantic speach and logical thought process then she needs further studying and could possibly be aspie. Also look for lack of eye contact and if you can read body language and hers is a bit of, she says one thing but her facial expressions say something else, our daughter does this a lot, listen to what she says not her body expressions.


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Xuincherguixe
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10 Jun 2006, 6:14 am

I like Mall Jockey myself.



ELLCIM
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10 Jun 2006, 8:54 am

Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
unclenutcracker wrote:
Don't even try with the girl who are all dressed up in some stylish manner. About 99 times out of 100 you will be shot down. Girls who have a "scene" (chic) look are also a problem because they are normally boring, shallow NTs.


This statement is shallower than the people you criticise.


No it's not. We all know it's true - but women don't want us males to know that.



unclenutcracker
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10 Jun 2006, 5:32 pm

Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
unclenutcracker wrote:
Don't even try with the girl who are all dressed up in some stylish manner. About 99 times out of 100 you will be shot down. Girls who have a "scene" (chic) look are also a problem because they are normally boring, shallow NTs.


This statement is shallower than the people you criticise.


Eh, just my opinion. Of course, no rule of thumb is going to work for all cases. I'm just saying that if you can identify somebody's style with a group -- especially if that style requires perfectly-placed hair and only the "right" kind of accessories -- the person probably (but not always) isn't enough of an individual to be worth wooing. On the other hand, if they have a style that seems like it would belong in a group... but they don't have any friends... heh, that could be a different story.

Ha! Anyway, I've been called "shallow" before... that's why I always keep "digging deeper."



Tim_Tex
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09 Sep 2006, 7:23 pm

What kinds of places do you go to meet "potential" Aspies? Like any types of clubs, coffeehouses, etc? For example, there is a neightborhood in Houston called Montrose, where there are a lot of eccentrics.

However, since I might be moving to Boise, ID, I am looking for ideas in terms of types of businesses, rather than a specific neighborhood.

Tim



BelaLugosi
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09 Sep 2006, 7:39 pm

I know nothing about how to recognize other Aspies (except when I look carefully to see if they look in my eyes), but I have some ideas about where to look for them. Look in the "loser" places. Sci-fi conventions, comic book stores, etc. Of course, these aren't very useful, as Sci-fi conventions are rare, and the owners of any stores are liable to get upset if you just stand around waiting for another Aspie to walk in the door. Good luck.



waterdogs
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09 Sep 2006, 8:46 pm

one word, conventions. unfortunatley there's none ever that i know of in the town i live in.