Single Aspie Men: Find Your Passion.

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Monsterland has it right. A passion is something you produce. Creating your own video game would be a passion...graphic design, and so on.

Well I must be defiecent because as I've aged,dealt with the BS of women,(both inside a relationship and in trying to start a new one) and had sex My sex drive has decreased quite a bit. The latter two doing the most to reduce it. After all my personal curse as an Aspie is that I culculate everything. All that BS for a little sex hardly seems like I coming out ahead.

SodBreaker

I keep myself active (pretty much proactive by being involved in clubs, organizations, hanging out with people, etc).

Bull. ANYTHING can be a passion.

And this "You got to learn to love yourself" / "Find a hobby" / "Buy a kitten" generic answer thread was brought to you in association with the SPRG Corporation.

SPRG, your choice in self proclaimed relationship experts.


(Seriously - i've read this kind of bullocks for years, and its not helping when you just cant find the right girl.)

That's the point, you don't need the right girl. You should be happy single or not single.

Who said anything about not being happy? Being single wears me down, but i'm not depressed. I have a crapload of stuff to play with on my free time but it does not change the that i am single and cannot do "couples stuff" that would make me MORE happy.

Try getting your emotions answered by loving yourself or having sex with yourself or holding hands with yourself while walking in a wintery town doing windowshopping. It just does not work alone. Bla blah blabla, "get a hobby" does not cut it. You can only be SO MUCH happy as a single, fantasising about how perfect life would be "if you only take up knitting" is ludicrous and it sounds like it were stolen out of any of the 100's of thousands of amateur relationship newspaper columns that copy/paste generic advice from eachother.

Aspie do have hobbies. More so then NTs, even more then female NTs. We are not NTs. Hobbies don't cure loneliness. However, if hobbies bring in money then that does help. It make one more eligible, and give one something to wake up for.

I think the guys on here that desperately want a relationship have seen too many romantic comedies.

If you're anything like Troy McClure then you might want to find your poisson

Have you explored every option? Maybe there's something that so far has eluded you.

Then you'll probably do well with a girl who is willing to spend a lot of time with you and your family, or has a hobby to do while you spend time with them. While I love my family a lot and like spending time with them, I don't understand how your family can be your passion...they aren't a hobby, something you can learn more about (genealogy, but not exactly your family directly), or something you can immerse yourself in by yourself or something you do with others. I would think of something like art or music or a sport as more of a passion. And your family can always be involved in whatever you're passionate about.

I was stood up again!. I'm beginning to HATE NT women. They could at least have the f***ing decency to tell me they are not interested. When it comes to relationships, I think it would be better to be on a sex offender registry than being autistic.

This was interesting to read. I am still trying to figure out how all this works. Of course, none of us want to be in a relationship where the other person mistreats us or takes advantage of us.

I think the big problem is, when starting out with minimal relationship experience, one won't know what's going on. It seems the best would be to learn from or with someone on the same level, but it's really hard to find them. And I'm finding that there is a point between childhood and adulthood where it gets much harder. It seems that especially for men, wanting to find women who are "innocent" (not in the sense of virgins, I mean who are forthright and unsophisticated in their way of approaching relationships) gets misread as wanting someone to abuse. And it also seems that men and women are pressured by life circumstances to be open and closed/discerning in different ways, which makes it even harder to find another person to bond with over a shared lack of ability in this area.

A few thoughts about the passion thing:
1) Some of our passions may be really esoteric, and might be hard to show to others. While people with the same passion (if they exist!) may understand, we may actually prefer those who have other passions, to balance us out. In addition, people may not consider what we create with our passion to be worthwhile.
2) Someone mentioned about wanting a partner who will invite you along--some of us may want to live lives separate from our sexual partners, including being free to pursue our passions in a solitary manner.
3) Most importantly, even having an incredible passion, even one that other people are amazed by, won't make one any more able to navigate the world of relationships, once one gets into one.

My passion is emo whining about how stupid women are and complaining in an overly dramatic way about how I can not get a girlfriend. I'm very passionate about it.

But because I have a passion all those stupid bimbos are going to be knocking on my door wanting to ruin my marvelous lamentations about how I can't find a girlfriend.

Stupid women, I don't want to be your boyfriend, if I was then I can't follow my passion of emo whining about how stupid women are and complaining in an overly framatic way about how I can not get a girlfriend. Leave me alone ladies.

I've been single for over a decade, do you really think you have something new to add to the pile of manure that is relationship/dating advice?

The problem as i have described countless times - I JUST DON'T WANT ANYBODY. "Love conquers all", well, so does narcotics in that case. Love is overrated - you DO actually have to LIVE with the person too, and if you do not realised that you are in for a big surprise.

Given the choice between dying alone vs being together with a racist, religious mom with a sociopatic ex that comes by and screams - in chorus with the kids, i rather die alone!

I'm not talking about relationship and dating advice, I'm talking about finding more fulfillment from life without having a partner.