Affection question: holding hands, kissing.

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Taupey
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05 Mar 2010, 4:52 pm

jawbrodt wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
but for some weird reason, the idea of dating someone with more sexual experience than me gives me the creeps.



Yeah, me too. What really bothers me, is to hear stories about past sexual experiences. I'm able to visualize it so well, that they might as well have cheated on me, right in front of my eyes. A couple words is all it takes, and I'm totally turned off. I almost had to break up with a girl once, because she mentioned something to me, referring to a past bf. I say "had", because it turned me off to the point where i didn't think I'd ever find her sexually attractive again. :o


Yeah, I have problems. :lol:



That is so wrong for someone to discuss a prior sexual experence and sexual partner with their current love interest. I would break-up too. I had one guy on a date constantly refer back to his ex-girlfriend. It was obvious he was comparing us. I told him I didn't go out on a date with him to hear about his ex! I could only imagine I would of heard all about there sex life besides her life story. I refused to see him anymore. I'm so glad I did!

Taupey



Dellingr
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06 Mar 2010, 12:11 am

I don't like unexpected touching in any context but I do really enjoy others initiating it. My main problem is that the sensation involved (pressure and someone else's body heat) can often get uncomfortably intense for me. Be interesting to see how I'd deal with it in a relationship


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Villette
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17 Mar 2010, 11:41 am

what do nerdy guys do when they want to kiss you?



Asp-Z
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17 Mar 2010, 12:00 pm

Villette wrote:
what do nerdy guys do when they want to kiss you?


Depends on the individual.



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17 Mar 2010, 1:20 pm

Taupey wrote:
I am only uncomfortable being affectionate right at first. The more I get to know someone the more comfortable I am with expressing and sharing my affection/love with them.


The same. Usually, as I get more comfortable with (and trusting of) the person in question, physical contact seems less daunting, and more natural. The endless questions in my head, ("Did he brush my hand on purpose? Does he want me to take his hand? If I'm wrong, and I go for it, will it freak him out?...") become less and less as time (and the relationship) goes on.



GrimmRomance
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17 Mar 2010, 5:08 pm

These days I feel pretty comfortable being affectionate, that is if I'm with someone of whom I care about/have a romantic interest in, and it appears that he's sweet on me too.
I'm usually not the one to initiate it though, but it has happened in the past.

When I was younger, I would panic by the thought of me someday having to kiss someone, letting someone physically close to me. My insides would writhe, twist and my belly'd feel heavy as stone whenever someone tried to hit on me.

All changed when I was 17 and got my first kiss. Good times, good times.

Blast you lovey dovey topic! D:< Now I crave affection... I'll go sit with my dog. Maybe he wants a hug.



Sound
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18 Mar 2010, 8:08 am

Villette wrote:
what do nerdy guys do when they want to kiss you?

I remember when I was 23 or 24, I was alone with this girl, and she seemed pretty into me. I was trying to get up the guts to 'make a move,' as it were, and not knowing quite how to do it.

"Uh.... Can I kiss you??"
With a grimace of exasperation, her mood totally broken, she yelled back at me, "... You're not supposed to ASK me that!"

...probably not helpful, but I laugh when I think back on it.



hartzofspace
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18 Mar 2010, 12:38 pm

Sound wrote:
Villette wrote:
what do nerdy guys do when they want to kiss you?

I remember when I was 23 or 24, I was alone with this girl, and she seemed pretty into me. I was trying to get up the guts to 'make a move,' as it were, and not knowing quite how to do it.

"Uh.... Can I kiss you??"
With a grimace of exasperation, her mood totally broken, she yelled back at me, "... You're not supposed to ASK me that!"

...probably not helpful, but I laugh when I think back on it.

:lol: That rule must be in the NT rule book. I think I would love to be asked if someone wants to kiss me!


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27 Jul 2010, 5:22 pm

The cuddlemonster speaketh! :D

I, for one, CRAVE touch. Not just sex, but I need a lot of touch. I didn't get a lot of it growing up but the stuff I got was high impact, highly emotional stuff. For me, going forward, I need a lot of low intensity, high frequency touching.

I want to be petted. I want my woman to pet me and I want to pet her right back. We don't have to have sex but any female who is with me needs to know that I will just slide up behind you while you are cooking and grope you gently for a moment and then slink off back to what the hell I was doing, usually with a tender little kiss on the neck or the cheek goodbye.

I do this often. I don't think I'm a freak for this and yet so many women I've been with are so damned cold outside of the bedroom and then damned one dimensional in bed that it makes it hard to do things.

The thought of being considered a living vibrator by my mate scares me to death, honestly. I don't want my lover to be my condom, hence, I CANNOT tolerate her treating me as her vibrator.

But I still need touch. I want a woman who is so needy for touch that 12 hugs a day to her seems like childs play.

Any takers? ;D



Taupey
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27 Jul 2010, 7:19 pm

Ouiet Storm, that sounds wonderfully romantic and I believe there are lots of young women your age who would love and appreciate you beyond your wildest dreams. I know that I would of when I was that age. :)



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27 Jul 2010, 8:49 pm

I have never done any of that but the idea of kissing doesn't appeal to me. It seems so...pointless.



Furantic
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27 Jul 2010, 10:17 pm

I'll just say that I am a whore for affection. I love to give it and love to receive it and not just from the sexual aspect. I'm talking about cuddling on the couch watching TV or a simple hug.



DerKodeMeister
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28 Jul 2010, 4:28 am

I've never had the physical contact problem with a girlfriend. For some reason it just kind of melts away in that case.


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Taupey
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28 Jul 2010, 10:21 am

Furantic wrote:
I'll just say that I am a whore for affection.
Image



QuietStorm81
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28 Jul 2010, 12:44 pm

Taupey wrote:
Ouiet Storm, that sounds wonderfully romantic and I believe there are lots of young women your age who would love and appreciate you beyond your wildest dreams. I know that I would of when I was that age. :)


Your bolshy slovos are well obliged miss. :D

My issue is that I honestly think that the older and more mature I get the less the women want to play full contact. I'll say again: I need a lot of contact to thrive as a person. That doesn't mean I'll force it from you but your obligation to me, primarily, is to be my pillow.

Most women shy away from that, not knowing that those rights are extended and enhanced to her, a priori and thus will be exercised on a regular basis. Nowadays, the modern grown girl is soothing egos so much on the job that when she comes home, for the most part, SHE wants to be comforted. And I'm happy to do it.

But ladies, IMO, your role is to nurture us. Simple as that. If we come from you, your responsibility to us doesn't stop when the hand stops rocking the cradle.



pippilngstkngpr
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29 Jul 2010, 1:21 am

Maybe physical contact will melt away the weird feelings when I am with someone I comfortable with and doesn't rush anything I am not comfortable with.