90% of Aspies can't get a date?

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Hi. Lotsems here again. I love how people have spoken about their problems openly.
hale bopp (a comet ). I sincerely hope you are correct about me being shy. A truth about myself - I have met(!) about a dozen women in my life. It would not be true to say that I am their friend after we parted, and it gives me very confused feelings. What did I do wrong? I once met an Englishman in Amsterdam who had what Americans call "Game". He could sit down on a park bench and get a complete stranger laughing in seconds. Needless to say if he met a girl he liked he took her to bed. I always admired that man for such a simple, pleasurable talent. We spoke about this. He told me that he had remained friends with most of his considerable number of girlfriends, and I had no reason to doubt him.

blackjack89. Why I am saying this next stuff is because I am articulate (grammatists may spot errors). I once got a MENSA score of 145.
Can't prove it.

I am droning on about this not just because I want to get laid ( which would be nice ), but maybe different people like myself ( I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet) could find happiness.

That is a very good answer, (unlike the other sickos...) I totaly understand the fact that 90% of Aspies don't find love that only applies for this world (of which the Devil has sadly got a hand in running) as I'm 100% sure that anything that one needs for them to be happy will be given to him/her in Heaven.

Not to long ago I wrote a few posts about this (entitled 'We will all have partners in Heaven and Have Sex there!') and got quite a few responces.


Goodbye Till Next Time

I don't like to burst your bubble, but heaven is nothing but the primitive imagination of primitive man.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnaQXJmpwM4[/youtube]

I've been on one date in my entire life, and that was almost two years ago now.

• Have basic hygiene down (shower, get hair cut, clip nails, dress)
• Have a pretty decent job.
• Intelligent
• In good health/exercise
• Not unattractive looking
• Willing to approach women (and have done it many times before)

In other words, if even I have so much trouble getting a date, the deck is really stacked against us people with Asperger's syndrome.

hahah yup it seems like us aspies are completely doomed for failure at this. i have done the same thing and i am often considered good looking also and have never even kissed a girl

I recently learned that the key to making woman attracted to you is giving them the kind of attention they look for in a man :

• Be honest and open with them
• Appear self-confident, even if you aren't
• Make witty, playful remarks and graduately increase the sexual tone of those remarks without being explicit
• Avoid talking too much about yourself and let them talk at least as much as you do
• Ask them questions about their personal life and when they answer, respond with some more questions
• Give them subtle compliments about aspects they appear insecure about

This gives them a very comfortable feeling and that feeling is essential for them to be attracted to a man.

While it is possible for aspies to learn social skills through training, the thing is that they are still aspies. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not. The best example I can think of is when someone moves to the US from a non-English speaking country and then starts learning English for the first time at age 21. I have seen some of these people that had a better understanding of English than I do as a native speaker. But the thing they all had in common was that they still had an accent. So in spite of their superior knowledge of English, they still couldn't speak as good as a native speaker. Even when you meet people like this who have lived here for 50 years, they still have an accent. So basically, aspies that learn social skills may know more about social skills than an NT, but an NT will still notice their incorrect application of social skills.

Sure, but the more you know and practice the better you fit in.

If you cannot recognise and/or send the right signals you won't know when someone is interested and they won't know when you are.

Some mannerisms like invading personal space will make people uncomfortable and make them want to get away from you.

Not making the right eye contact will often make people think that you are not interested in them or don't like them. Too much of the wrong kind might make them think that you are crazy and thinking of murdering them.

Going on, and on, and on about Star Trek or Routemaster buses will put people off. Gauging when someone is getting bored or how interested someone is likely to be in a certain topic is important.

Learning some social skills could be the difference for some people between seeming "a little shy or awkward" or seeming a "total weirdo" or "creepy" or "potential axe murderer"

True. However, going from "a little awkward" to be able to appeal to women is quite a bit step only few manage to take.

Hey, I'm the OP of the topic. I realize this thread is VERY old, but I just spent the last hour going through all of the pages and I just want to make a couple comments.

Sorry I never responded to the thread. Truth is, I completely forgot about the website after I posted the topic.

I mainly want to address Lonermutant, because he said some things I simply can't ignore.

For those who don't know, Lonermutant is the guy I (unknowingly) quoted in the original post. He then responded by saying that he "meant what [he] said" and that it was true that 90% of Aspies never get a date. First of all, I see absolutely no source for this claim. Second of all, in the next few pages he goes on to say that 99.99% of Aspies never get a date. WHAT THE F***! It is laughably obvious that this is false. First of all, most of the people on here seem to have at least gotten one date. And I actually happen to know a guy who not only got a date, he got married to her. I'm sure if I looked on Google, I could find at least 50 testimonies showing him that he's false. I don't know where the hell he gets this stuff (his ass?) but it really is ridiculous.

That's not all. He then goes on to claim that a girl would only pretend to be interested in an Aspie if she was going to bully him.
HAHAHAHAHA!! !! ! I can tell you from experience that this is false. I've literally had groups of 5-6 girls chase me around and try to hold me down to kiss me. Not even kidding. My first (unofficial) girlfriend was in the 4th grade, and she did not bully me at all. In fact, I remember teasing her more than anything. And through the years, I've had girls who were interested in me, but I never reciprocated the love back for them. Just weren't my types. I have high standards which is probably something I need to work on, but back to the topic at hand.

Where does this guy get this utter bulls***? Listen to this. He said that "Most men with AS have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker." WHAT...THE...F***!

I have to wonder if this guy is serious, or if he's just pretending to have Asperger's, and is self-deprecating so he can inadvertently insult us. I mean, where the flying f*** does this s*** come from? School has been a breeze for me so far and I'm going to be entering my senior year of high school in a few weeks. I also plan on going to college and getting my Master's. I haven't done it yet, but WHEN I do, I'll come back and rub it in his face to show him how stupid he is. Also, didn't I read in about a million different sources that Aspies have average to above-average intelligence? Obese? I'm a fu***** twig! In fact, I think most Aspies I come across are quite skinny. And I'm actually working out now, so hopefully I'll have some muscle to show for it. Sex-fixated? Eh, he may have a point there. Then again, what teenager isn't obsessed with sex? Which reminds me, Lonermutant made a claim that we could simply educate (indoctrinate?) Aspies into not desiring sex or a girlfriend. It's a biological trait dips***! Even if you lived in a cave your entire life, you'd still desire sex. There's no getting around it. Free hooker? I can honestly say that I would rather be single my entire life than have sex with a 47-year-old, makeup-smearing, disease-ridden whore. I would never stoop so low.

In short, I have absolutely no respect for people like Lonermutant. If he has no education, is obese, and think all women are out to get him, well, that's his own goddamn fault. He needs to get off his ass and do something about it. Blaming genetics is not the answer. At all. Putting people down with bulls*** statistics that he literally pulled directly from his ass is not the solution. The only reason he is so cynical and feels the need to make MASS generalizations, as if we're all exactly the same, is because he just gave up. He feels like there's no one else like him in the world, so he makes s*** up to make himself feel better. I seriously think he may have a mental problem other than Asperger's that causes this.

I have no pity for people like Lonermutant. He's a disingenuous, self-deprecating prick who is too lazy to go out and make a living for himself. Just because he feels he can't make it in life, doesn't mean he has the right to put other people down who actually have the ambition to do something with their lives.

So sorry to dig up an old thread, but I just had to get that off my chest.

Don't give trolls the time of day, ryanms92, much less let yourself get worked up by their comments which are clearly designed to make people angry.

ryanms92, I have Asperger's.
What we see here on WP is actually often the minority of Aspies. The people who actually finished junior high. That don't look different. The people that knows more than 7th grade math. Those who get girlfriends. I am not one of those.
Most men with Asperger's are like me. Just accept it.

I don't like it that Aspie guys keep saying this. Just because I'm an Aspie girl doesn't mean I don't have a right to have a family. Take responsibility for your own social issues and don't blame us. D:

I am cursed. I will never get wimmin.

And where is your source for this? Throughtout this entire thread, you've continued to make assertions and never backed them up.

Fatalists don't face reality